You met Mr. Turner, your professor, on the train, and boundaries between you were never the same. What began as a chance encounter quickly spiralled into something much more complex.
More insight and warnings for each part over on my Tumblr @goblin...
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He was pacing around the room. He'd been pacing around the house since he came home from work. After what felt like a period of hibernation, where everything seemed too delicate to handle or move or change, he now started pacing. You'd talked about it, here and there, but nothing concrete.
Until today, when he brought it up again. Not that you were opposed to discussing it. You just didn't know how to approach the situation. You both had built up all these fears and perceptions about what would happen if people found out you were together that you hadn't even really considered what it would actually lead to.
"I can quit. I'll quit for you if it comes down to that." he said, stopping in the middle of the office, propping his hands on his hips as he looked at you.
"Alex, you can't quit. You love your job." you tried to reason with him.
"But I love you more."
His voice was firm, almost stubborn, and his eyes were locked on yours, waiting for your response. You could see the desperation in his expression. He wasn't just saying it. He meant it. Every word. The thought of him giving up something he was so passionate about for you made your heart ache, but at the same time, it terrified you. The weight of that kind of sacrifice was almost too much to bear.
You looked away, trying to gather your thoughts, to find the right words. But nothing seemed adequate. How could you tell him that you didn't want him to give up everything for you, even though the idea of losing him terrified you just as much? How could you tell him that the fears you both had were starting to suffocate you?
"Al..." you began, your voice trailing off as you searched for something to say that wouldn't break either of your hearts. "We need to think this through. I don't want you to make a decision you'll regret. I don't want to be the reason you give up something that means so much to you."
His hands dropped to his sides, and he took a step closer to you, his expression softening. "You're not the reason, okay? You're not the reason I'm thinking about this. I just- fuck...I want us to be able to be together without all this...secrecy. I want to be able to go out with you, to live our lives without worrying about who might see us. I'm tired of hiding."
You felt the tears prick at the corners of your eyes, but you held them back. You understood where he was coming from. Because you felt the same way. But the reality of the situation wasn't as simple as just deciding to be together openly. There were consequences, things that could happen that you weren't sure you were ready to face.
"I know..." you whispered, your voice barely audible. "But we need to be careful. I don't want you to do something you'll regret. And I don't want to lose you either."
He reached out, taking your hands in his, squeezing them gently. "You're not going to lose me. I promise."
The certainty in his voice gave you a small sense of comfort, but it didn't erase the doubts that lingered in the back of your mind. You wanted to believe him, wanted to trust that everything would work out, but the fear of what could happen if things went wrong was still there, looming over you like a dark cloud in the sky before the storm.
