Okay. So this is more of my type of genre than the previous fanfic I posted. Feeling ko kasi, pilit ang humor dun. haha!
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"It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go. But I'm doing it."
"It's hard to force that smile when I see our own friends and I'm alone. Still harder"
~What Hurts The Most
He opened the door and then stood still when he saw me. Shock was written all over his face.
At last, he finally came, Dylan Marco. I wanted to see him. Badly. But not this way, not in this state. Not where I'm all bedridden in this hospital room with different apparatus all over my body.
He knelt before me and held my pale and wilted hands.
I didn't want him to see me like this. I wanted to meet him when I'm all good and healthy - not like this.
"I'm sorry," he said softly.
'No, you don't need to be.' I wanted to tell him.
It didn't take long before my hands became wet from his tears. He was sobbing.
'Stop crying.'
DyMa is never a person to cry so easily. He was always brave and he never showed his weakness. He refuses to show his weakness. And that's what I greatly admire about him. You see, I was always a crybaby. I'd cry so easily over things I couldn't handle. And I hate it.
"I'm so sorry. Please, please forgive me. Forgive me." He continued to sob. And my heart can't help it.
'Don't cry. It's not your fault. In fact, I should be the one asking for forgiveness.' As much as I want to tell that to him, I can't. I couldn't.
"I'm sorry I left and abandoned you. If I had known you were suffering, I wouldn't have..."
'No. You left because you needed to. That was a business matter afterall.'
"We're best friends, weren't we? Why didn't you tell me about this when we are supposed to share everything. EVERYTHING." He held my hands and kissed it tenderly as if they were the most fragile thing he has ever laid his hands on.
'Exactly. We're best friends. If I told you about this, you wouldn't have left. I would've felt even more guilty than I already am because I know that you will also carry the burden I was supposed to face alone. I don't want that. I don't want to hold you back.' If only I could tell that to him. If only he could hear me.
"I'm sorry I wasn't able to take care of you."
'That's okay. It was my choice anyway.'
"But I guess, I owe you something as well. If I only knew, I wouldn't have left. I would've spend all the time I had with you. I could have been with you. I could have told you that I love you." He spoke the last sentence as soft and tender as possible. And it was like music to my ears.
"I love you. I love you. I love you," he continued. In a matter of seconds, he broke down again.
'I love you too' If I only had the courage to confess to you before all this, maybe I won't regret anything. Now, I regret not doing so because it's all too late. Too late.
"Please, wake up. Wake up," he pleaded me. If only I could. But I had been in a coma for weeks before all this happened.
In a matter of seconds, he was sobbing more than he did earlier. It was like, he was sick of holding back and he finally snapped. He took his hands off mine and smeared his own hands in his face. He's more miserable and wretched as ever. '
I'm sorry.' Those were the words that I wanted to say. Those were the only words I could say.
It hurts. It hurts because I love him. A lot.
It hurts to see him miserable because of me. It hurts that he's in pain because of me. It hurts even more that I can't do anything about it. I couldn't go to him and tell him it's fine even though it's not. I couldn't comfort him like he used to do to me. I coulnd't do anything to console him. I can never do anything about it now.
What hurts the most? It's when my mother told him something that crushed my heart. I feel so uselss now. It was like reality slapped me in the face.
"DyMa, she's already forgiven you so stop blaming yourself. She won't wake up. She never will," she said and her eyes started to water again.
And that's when I remembered my state. He can never hear me now. He can never see me smile anymore. And I? I probably won't be happy forever knowing that I had regrets within me. Never.
For my body has already given up on me a long time ago. My heart had already stopped beating since God knows when. And tomorrow?
Tomorrow is the day of my burial.
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See. I told you this is more of my style. haha~ Don't get me wrong. I love happy endings. But I don't know how to end a story with one. haha!
