𝐡𝐚𝐥𝐟 𝐚 𝐥𝐢𝐞 | 𝐬𝐮𝐧𝐤𝐢

011.

sunoo wakes up that morning with a pounding head, his legs wobbling as he steps foot onto the wooden ground of the dorm.

jake looks over to the younger boy.

"sunoo, are you-"

"i'm fine." sunoo responds, a little dizzy but still managing to form coherent words.

jake nods, continuing to put in his textbooks into his backpack.

｡･:*˚:✧｡

jake is not a perfect person.

he doesn't have a perfect family, nor does he have a perfect life- but he's always been weirdly content with that fact.

maybe it's simply because he has filled himself with so many positive thoughts that it has completely slipped his mind; being "perfect".

or maybe it's to hide from something else.

someone else.

either way, he still finds ways to try and be perfect, even if it means metaphorically killing himself just for a glimpse of pleasure.

but sometimes it gets too much.

there are times when jake finds himself crouched over the bathroom sink, his heartbeat climbing higher, the unsettling tremor in his hand in action.

everything starts shaking, and his eyes start to wander.

his head keeps forming elliptical patterns, his breathing coming out shallow and unconcise.

when will it ever fucking stop? 

his eyes give out from the weight of his tears, the small droplets sliding down his cheeks and emptying into the sink below him.

jake looks in the mirror, touching the outline of his face on the mirror with his shaky hand.

"why are you never enough?" he sobs, his muffled voice barely making a sound in the vacant bathroom.

his heart beat creeps up higher, his breathing barely any better.

"i wish... i wish i could just... disappear. not worry about anything anymore." he whispers through his swollen lips, new tears finding their way onto them.

"is this what you fucking are?" he yells, suddenly angry, raising his fist at the mirror and hitting it as hard as he could, pain already collecting from the impact.

his hand throbs, the tremor seemingly worse- but jake doesn't care.

not like anyone ever cared anyway.

｡･:*˚:✧｡

sim jaeyun was two years old when his mother decided to send him and his brother to an orphanage.

due to her complications with teen pregnancy, she decided she had no choice but to send both boys- only hoping the best for their wellbeing.

jaeyun could never recall much of his mother- he could only remember that she worked as a model.

at the epitome of her career, as jake's brother, two years older than him, states, "there was this manager. i don't know his name, jaeyun. but he would always follow i and mom a lot. he was weird... i remember them fighting over something once, but that's about it. but when mom was pregnant with you, she would cry about her career being over and that manager being the cause of it." jake's brother paused.