Paper Lifelines

Marianna Cried

Morning came and she felt something was off. She checked herself- full head of hair, in her own bed, no new injuries. She heard a thud on the stairs and knew Greg was home. She checked her phone. 7:30 a.m. No new messages. She stood up and shrugged the thought off. After showering and brushing her teeth she stood in her room wrapped in a towel for several minutes soaking everything in. The previous day she had been released from the hospital after an overnight stay, her new friend was hospitalized, and her step-father threatened to basically desecrate her as soon as she recovered. Eventually she dressed herself in a large blue sweater and some black jeans. She whipped her hair up into a bun. "Today is nothing special." She thought to herself.

She slowly walked out of her room closing the door softly behind her and turned to go down the stairs. Marianna sat on the floor and slowly inched herself down the stairs on her rear, as it would be easier for her to not fall or tweak her back. She made it to her wheelchair and wheeled herself over to the counter near the front door. Grabbing her wallet and coat, as quickly as one in a wheelchair can, she made her way out the door. She was forced to leave the wheelchair on the porch because it would be a terribly bad idea for her to carry it down on her own accord, and she knew that Greg wouldn't help her. Sitting on the last step, she took out her phone and called a cab. To keep herself busy she played a small game of ABC. "A. Airplane. B. Bicycle in Lance's yard.." This game continued for about 30 minutes until the cab pulled into her driveway. The man in the front seat smiled at her as she stood up and slowly made her way to the car.
He turned around and asked "Where ya headed doll?" She returned his smile and answered "Good Spring Hospital. Thank you kindly." The drive was silent but for the low hum of the radio. The driver pulled up and turned once more. "$30 for the ride kid. Who you here to see?" Marianna handed him the desired amount and nodded, paying no attention to his question. She mumbled "Have a nice day." before stepping onto the pavement. She took a deep breath as she stood staring at the large hospital before her. People filed in and out, some dressed in gowns, some in scrubs, and some in normal wear. She took a deep breath and, one step after another, forced herself to venture inside. She greeted the receptionist and security guards. She greeted the nurses and the doctors she passed as she made her way to Lance's room. The elevator ride was long. A small boy who looked to be about 7 cried for his mother. Tears streamed down his face as he held a small stuffed toy. The toy was pathetically sewn together and seemed very old, but the boy clung to it for dear life. Marianna imagined herself to be in that situation. She knew Lance was her lifeline. The door opened to the third floor and she stepped out. The nurse sitting at the desk was her nurse. She smiled and greeted Marianna before pointing her to Lance's room once more. There was a soft tone to her voice, like she was assisting a child. Marianna was barely phased by this. The only thing she could think about was Lance. When she arrived at his room the door was closed. She heard noises from inside.
She gradually opened the door and slipped inside. From where she was she couldn't see his bed, but she heard his sister's cries and the monitor drop to zero. Francie was sobbing and yelling. "Look. Look at me Lance! I brought our brother! Don't you want to meet him? Meet our brother! Please." She screamed. "Please don't leave me here." Marianna's stomach dropped. She stepped forward until she could see him. His face was as pale as the sheets he was resting on. His face lay expressionless. She stood there for a minute staring. She felt nothing. Pain, anger, sadness. All of her emotions were too jumbled- too intense for her to actually feel any of them. She just went numb. Every part of her from her head to her fingers and her toes. A single tear fell from her right eye onto her cheek as Francie turned to face her. A small boy stood next to her. He looked to be about 5 years old and had the same curly coffee hair as Lance did, laying still on the bed. Francie shouted curse after curse at her. "You did this!" she shrieked. "You killed my baby brother! If not for you, Kip would still be here! My brother would still be here!"
Suddenly she was running. Marianna dashed down the hospital stairs and out onto the street. She didn't call for a cab, she didn't pay attention to traffic, or shouting nurses, or the pain coming from everywhere on her body. She stopped and she was 100 feet from the hospital. She pulled out her phone and called Max. "Come get me."
The ride to her house was a blur. She heard nothing and said nothing. Max talked but was answered with silence. He dropped her off and didn't pull away until she entered her house. Her back and legs stung, her lungs burned. When she opened the front door Greg was sitting on the sofa. He screamed something at her but she just kept walking. Up the stairs, into her room. She sat on her bed and pulled out an old notebook. She opened it to the first page and wrote.

"January 19, 2019.
Everything is nothing. The world never gives promises. There are no miracles, and what you think you have isn't always permanent. Lifelines can be cut. His sister was there. She wouldn't stop screaming curses and insults, but I couldn't think. I just stood and they bounced right off of me. I saw him laying there motionless in that bed. That horrible bed with the uncomfortable pillows and the too thin sheets. I've seen enough of those hospital rooms. They suck the color out of people. They sucked the color out of him. Nothing will change. My father will still beat me. His sister is still alone. He is still alone. Maybe more alone than ever. For every ounce of good, there is an ounce of bad. For every Ying, there is a Yang. I cried today. My lifeline is cut. My stuffed toy fell apart. Lance is dead."