Shy || a Harry Potter fanfic

4

Harrys POV

after our encounter with Malfoy, the day ran mostly smoothly. He had been to mortified to say anything else. I cant say i don't understand his humiliation, Hermione had managed to get to me too. She isn't the most understanding of young women. I've never been able to communicate with her like i have my other friends. The friends i wouldn't even have if Ron hadn't helped me, i do have things to say! i just cant find the confidence to say them. I wonder if it annoys the other boys sometimes that i never stick up for myself. When you spend your whole life being told how you're nothing and nobody, alongside all the reasons you should die it isn't really the confidence boost you need.

even in muggle primary school i was bullied. I do often wonder if i would've been treated the same had Dudley not been so cruel. I had a friend once, her name was Clara, she was really sweet. Eventually though she was brain washed by Dudley too. Freaks weren't supposed to have friends. 

Hagrid has told me many stories of my parents since i started here, they were never shy or quiet. He said they were some of the bravest people he has ever met, and i am too. I don't know how that's true though. I understand i defeated Voldemort as a baby or whatever, but that wasn't me, it was mum! And he only truly died because Dumbledore destroyed his Horcruxes. I'm not totally sure wat those are meant to be but they're supposedly fragments of ones soul bringing them immortality.

i had one in me too, removed by some creepy old ritual in Gringotts on my first visit. Truly terrifying experience. But i really am ordinary, now so more than ever. I just struggle finding my voice sometimes. Its like panic overwhelms me, all i can think of is saying something wrong or the self deprecating voices ringing in my ears. It usually sounds like my aunt petunia. Reminding me time and time again I'm useless and stupid and ugly, nobody will ever love me. Usually the route it takes.

Hermione is a real bitch anyway. She only wanted to be my friend because i was famous and she needed a leg up being popular, i heard her tell the Patil twins when she somehow finally managed to make friends of her own. Although that's probably because they're as desperate as she is. 

suddenly I'm snapped out of my thoughts at a large bang, all our heads swivelled to the door to see who had walked in. We were in history of magic with professor Binns, hence my mind wandering so far away from me. By looks of it some genius Ravenclaw were playing exploding snap. Aren't they supposed to be smart?

Ron giggled beside me and i felt my heart flutter a bit. I had realised i was starting to fall in love with Ron last year, when he saved me from the Dursleys. When we got back to the Burrow he held me all that morning, i told him everything id been through and he stayed up all evening brewing to make me potions to make it better. 

Ron also had some self confidence issues. Mainly about his worth, always comparing himself to his family. I think Hes the best Weasley, i couldn't tell the twins of course. They'd be gutted, dramatic prats. Ron had long always said i was his biggest comfort and it made my soul swell with a pride id never felt before. But even with Ron, there's a villain to every story. And this one couldn't even be quiet long enough for me to finish my internal monologue.

"Honestly Ronald grow up, you need to set more of a example if you want to be a prefect, how do you expect to live up to your brothers reputation? you need to focus Ron." she started to rant, going on and on about maturity and the future but i tune her out. The distraught look on his face capturing my attention more. Professor Binns had already deducted points and continued on his drawl about the Salem witch trials, completely unbothered about what was going on everywhere else. She always knew how to hurt him and it broke my heart.

she loved to push us to be more like her ideas of what we should be. For a muggle born she's strangely obsessed with reputation and status, despite not having any. I wouldn't dare say that though, she would screech like a drunken banshee and I'm not sure how to deal with that.

Despite Ron's clear descent into insecurity, Hermione continued on her once again uncared for rant. "You two need to knuckle down this year. Especially you Ron, at least Harrys special and will always matter in the wizarding world, what are you?" she continued to fuss on our way to lunch, finally having finished our class. 

Ron continued on in silence but i could feel my rage starting to bubble over slightly at her insinuations. How dare she be so unwarrantedly cruel? she thinks she's so special because she's top student in our class but I'm right behind her with Ron only 2 places behind me. She can say what she wants about me but he didn't even do anything. What she said next was my final straw, 

"Honestly Ronald speak up and take some responsibility, acting like such a baby. Your mother would be so embarrassed." and i couldn't contain myself anymore "Are your parents proud Hermione? are they pleased they created such a self serving, judgemental, ill mannered bitch?" i snapped at her, basically throwing up my words. The students around us stopped walking suddenly, pausing in place and gaping at me. I felt my cheeks heat up and my ears burn a bright red at all the sudden attention, a noticeable blush taking over my nose, but it was all worth it when i turned and saw Ron's large smile..

Rons POV

I couldn't hold back the smile stretching over my face at Harrys words. He had never so much as swore at someone before, never defended himself or even spoke in front of so many people. But he found his voice for me. To defend me against fucking Hermione Granger. Hermione's face burned a shameful shade of red, hands shaking in anger as she attempts to regain her composure. I can hear the cogs turning in her brain, trying to decide how to spin this situation to save her enormous ego from the fatal blow it just took. Until she came out with words so foul i wish i could hit her. 

"At least i didn't cause their deaths" she said stonily, spinning on her heel and rushing down the hallway towards the great hall. Harry stiffened slightly but i stepped in before he could descend too far into his brain. "thank you Harry, for sticking up for me. You are so brave. Don't worry about her, for the so called brightest witch of her age the only bright thing about her is the shade of red her ears turned when she was finally humbled" i joked trying to lighten the mood. And thank goodness, it worked. He let out a small, adorable chuckle and looked up to meet my eyes "she deserved it Ron, she's always so rude.." he pouted slightly. I suppressed my awes and started towards the hall again.

On the way we giggled about what happened, gossiping like little girls as bitch face would've said. Shas always had a gift for sniffing out your insecurities and using them for emotional warfare. Harry commented it was probably another rabbit instinct she picked up along side her abnormally large teeth. We had filled in the other guys on the way to the hall and they were exceptionally proud.

Hermione sat a few seats away from our group, pouting and grumbling to herself about 'ungrateful, ugly little beasts'. I wanted to grab her by her frizzy knotting hair and drag her across the table, however my dear sister had in fact beaten me to it. "Granger, if Harry hears the shit you are talking and looks even remotely upset i will drown you in moaning myrtles toilet. I suggest you eat your lunch" Ginny said casually, masking her smirk with indifference while holding the most menacing eye contact with Hermione that i had ever seen. She sent me a smile when she saw me watching and i had never seen more of our mother in her. 

I looked beside me and Harry was, as usual, completely oblivious to what was around him. He had finally adjusted to being back at Hogwarts and was starting to relax. I saw Lupin smiling at him discretely from the teachers table. There is definitely more to that, but its okay. Anything that can help keep Harry happy works for me. He was contently tucked into Seamus' arms talking animatedly about our next charms lesson and what he was hoping we would get to cover. I knew i was in love with Harry, but I've never had to worry about the other boys. Maybe i wouldn't amount to much at home, but this family was perfect. 

The rest of the day progressed smoothly. Hermione thankfully kept her distance and Harry was significantly less on edge and truthfully so was i. It may be time to cut her out for good soon. I truly do pity her though and i know Harry feels bad for what he said for the same reason, but he feels worse about what she said. We didn't discuss it during the rest of our classes. Harry had managed to charm a plant to dance in our class and he finally got to accept the praise without someone's bushy hair getting in his face and ruining his moment. 

we all eventually ended back up in the boys dorms in Gryffindor tower, surrounded by sweet snacks and stray game pieces, settling down to prepare for the bigger discussion that was to be had..