City of Decay: The Cleaner | MxM

Chapter 1: The Bear's Possession

This room reeks of cigarettes, booze, and sex. My whole body aches in the darkness; last night just seems like a haze. I open my eyes, but the darkness remains. Typical, I think to myself, trying to get my body into a sitting position. My head spins, and I feel nauseous. No matter how many times I swear to never get drunk again I fall right back into bad habits. But how else am I supposed to get through this?

The bed squeaks as I move closer to the edge. The moment I place my feet on the cold wooden floor, a sense of clarity comes back. This is not my room, not even my home. I need a minute to collect myself before I bend over and search through the clothes scattered on the floor just within reach.

There, something that feels like a sleeve. I pull it closer, pause, then groan. What a miserable being I am, sleeping away my nights with a man I don't even care about just to stay safe. But how safe am I really in this world, with my profession? I'm living so close to the edge I have become numb to the things I don't like, and barely feel joy about the things I do like.

This man – The Bear, they call him, but I know better – has no sense for romance, nor does he know how to care about anyone, not even me. I'm nothing more than a prized possession, I'm only there to fill his lonely nights, and I've gotten used to it. I can't help but groan once more. I'm an idiot; my hurting body is proof enough, no need crying about it.

Time to pull myself together. Whatever shirt I pulled closer in this darkness becomes the only thing covering me as I finally manage to get up. This room reeks so badly, even if I weren't hungover I'd probably feel like it. I hesitate for a moment, then I pull back the heavy, black curtains. It's raining. Again.

With the early daylight filling the room, the chaos of last night becomes apparent. He has long since left, the bed is as empty as can be. The door is shut closed but there is liquid leaking through the small gap under the door. Not my problem. My eyes wander. Torn bed sheets, a ripped pillow, feathers covering the floor and surfaces close proximity, a red alcohol puddle on the floor, too watered down to resemble blood. Wine? Did I get drunk on wine? I doubt it.

A picture has fallen from the wall, the glass probably shattered. The artificial, potted plant right next to the door is tipped over, a small trail of equally artificial dirt is covering the floor. The room seems foggy from all the cigarette smoke and incense. Time to open the window and let in some fresh air. It feels nice, the cold autumn breeze on my face, brushing my bruises, the deep blue marks of an eventful night. And yet... I feel nothing.

Nothing besides the pain, that is. I take another deep breath of cold, fresh air before I turn around and make my way to the bedside table. Opening the little drawer, I can't help but swear, "Thayer Godwin, you goddamn madman."

While I feel like swearing and cursing this man over and over again, I can't really bother with the emptiness of this little drawer. He dragged me all the way here into his bedroom, intoxicated and helpless, yet he couldn't even care to refill the painkillers. I have a job to do this evening. Fucking good-for-nothing. "The Bear" my ass.

A chuckle deprived from any sense of joy escapes my lips. If anyone could hear me, my thoughts, my way of speaking not just about him but to him... they'd consider me dead in an instant. But I know better. I know he needs me. He may be a danger to his surroundings, the means of this city to keep order, but despite the pain he puts me through, despite the punishments – as he likes to call such nights – he can't help but want me.

When did it get so far? At what point did our relationship change from a purely professional one to... whatever the fuck it is now? When did we both become so dependent on each other? There is no love lost between us. I respect his position, but that's about it. If he was ever overthrown my respect would lay with the new head, not with him. The moment he loses the one thing that keeps me safe, he will lose me.