The heart that saved me (A Mialotte story)

2. Hold on

Tw; mentions of depression, self harm

Mia and Charlotte went inside after a while, charlotte leading mia to the living room. Charlotte had calmed down a little bit, but now she started panicking about her actions. Why did she call mia? What is she gonna tell her? She doesn't even know whats wrong with her... "sweetheart, what happened?" Mia asks. "I... I don't really know to be honest." Charlotte begins, as she takes a deep breath. "I just really have been struggling and i have no one to talk to and for some reason you seemed to realise something was wrong and then you said i could call you whenever i needed someone... I was really lonely and upset and i hesitated but then i still called you im sorry..." Mia looked at her, worry washing over her. Mia really cared about charlotte, and seeing her in this state was really not on her bucket list. "Dont be sorry sweetheart, i told you i was here for you and i didnt lie. I am always here." She stayed silent for a few seconds, before saying, "I don't want to assume anything, but this has nothing to do with your divorce, right? You are just genuinely really struggling, with alot of things." Charlotte looked at her confused. How does she know? Why does she know so many things? "How do you know?" She then asked. "Char i just know you. I see you! I see your struggles and i want to help you!" With that answer, charlotte started talking. She talked about everything. Everything she was thinking, feeling, going through, also some good things, even though there were not many at that moment. Or atleast, thats how she felt. All Mia did was listen. Mia was a good listener, and she always had advice. And if she didn't, she would take care of Charlotte. Thats how she worked.

"Charlotte, should i run you a bath?" Charlotte suddenly got terrified. There was one detail that she had not explained to mia yet. Self harm. Her whole body was full of it. She didn't want a bath. She knew mia would not sit there and watch her if she felt uncomfortable, but that was not the issue. The water would sting on her wounds. It would hurt so goddamn bad. Lately all she did was wash her hair in the sink, and use a wet cloth to wash her body. She would make sure she was somewhat clean and fresh, but she would refuse to take a bath. What was she going to do? Mia immediately realised the change in Charlotte's body language. And knowing Mia, she already knew why. "Oh sweetheart..." Charlotte looked at her. Does she... know? Did she see them? "Where are they?" She asked. Charlotte hesitated. "Everywhere..." she whispered. Mia pulled her in for a hug, she knew what charlotte needed was a lot of comfort and love. "How about we go and take that bath, i clean up your wounds and after that i will prepare your favourite meal while we watch your comfort movie?" Charlotte hesitated, but she knew she could trust mia. And she knew she needed a bath, and that cleaning the wounds was crucial for the healing process.

After Charlotte's bath, Mia started cleaning up her wounds. Mia had to admit, this was hard for her. Not the cleaning itself, she knew how to do that. It was seeing charlotte's so scarred and hurt that made it hard. She thought Charlotte was beautiful, but she knew Charlotte hated herself for the scars she made on herself. She also knew that cleaning up the wounds was painful, and she didn't like seeing charlotte in pain. Mia had also had a cream with her, that would help the healing process of the wounds and numb the pain. "Hold on darling.." she would say in between cleaning. She knew charlotte was insecure about her wounds, scars and even her strength, and it made Mia sad.

Mia had prepared charlotte's favourite diner, and Charlotte set up her comfort movie. As they were watching the movie and eating their diner, Mia spoke up. "Charlotte?" She began. "I want you to know a few things, because i know that that pretty mind of yours is going everywhere right now." Charlotte just looked at her. "I will not be telling anyone about your scars or what you went through. Its private and its a secret, i dont intent on breaking that. I do think that you need to talk to Marjorie tho. She is your manager, and also your bestfriend, she needs to know. That way she can keep an eye on you, and she can support you during work hours. I know its scary, and if you want i can be there with you, but you really need to tell her..." "you're right... thank you for not telling anyone tho..." charlotte replies, but mia cuts her off. "Im not done yet sweetheart. I want you to know that you are gorgeous. Those scars make you, you. They show that you are winning a battle. They display how strong you are! And i know you don't think that you are worthy of anything and that you dont call yourself pretty, but you are. And you are so strong. Please hold on because it will get better! And you will get out of it!"

It gets late, and its time for charlotte to go to bed as she has work in the morning. She had decided to talk to marjorie tomorrow, but she had asked mia if she would support her during that conversation. Ofcourse, mia gladly agreed. Mia had cheered charlotte up a bit, she had even started laughing again. Mia knew Charlotte would get out of this. Bit by bit, charlotte will pick herself up again. She was sure of it. As charlotte went up to bed, mia wasnt so sure if she was allowed to stay, or if charlotte wished for her to go home. She kinda got lost in her thoughts, until charlotte interrupted her. "Mia?" She had asked a few times. "Oh sorry, yeah?" "Can you stay tonight? Please i dont want to be alone again..." Charlotte didn't want to admit it, but she hated being alone. She felt really lonely, and giving the way she was feeling, it would be worse tonight. Mia didn't hesitate for a second. "Sweetheart you don't have to ask me, i'll be here for you as long as you want and need. If you want me to stay, i'll stay. If you want me to leave, i'll leave! Its that simple darling" Charlotte smiled at her with relief. "Thank you"

Charlotte had given Mia some spare pyjamas. They got in to bed and talked for a little while, mia cracking some jokes and opening up about herself. After a while she realised charlotte was getting tired. "Lets go to sleep sweetheart" Charlotte just nodded. Mia wrapped an arm around Charlotte, holding her close to her and making sure Charlotte felt loved and protected. Within minutes, Charlotte had fallen asleep. What Charlotte didn't know, is that Mia had fallen in love with her. And mia knew, that it was best to not tell her or show her. Atleast not when she was awake.  "Goodnight sweetheart, i love you..." Mia whispered as she also fell asleep. What Mia didn't know, is that Charlotte had heard what she had said, and that a big smile had creeped upon her face...

Guyssss i promise this book will become cute and sweet over time i know its really depressing right now but it will get better😭 i just need to show charlottes healing process or the book wont make sense or be complete. Thanks for reading!

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