PEER E KAMIL

Untitled Part 29

̳You seem to be quite worried for the last few days—is there a problem?'
Waseem asked her that night. Imama had been upset and quiet lately.
̳No, it's nothing. It's your imagination.' Imama tried to smile.
̳It's not my imagination: there is something wrong. But if you don't want to
share it, then it's a different matter,' said Waseem, shaking his head. He was
lying on one side of Imama's double bed while she sat away from him leafing
through her notes in a file. Waseem waited for her reply and then said, ̳I was
right, wasn't I? You don't want to talk about it.'
̳Yes. I don't want to talk about it at present,' she admitted with a sigh.
̳Tell me—perhaps I can help you.' Waseem tried to goad her.
̳Waseem, I'll tell you myself but not now. And if I need your help, I'll ask
you,' she said, closing the file.
̳Fine, as you wish. I just wanted to help you.' He got up.
Waseem had figured it out correctly: Imama had been withdrawn and quiet
since the day she had an argument with Javeria. Even though Javeria had
apologized to her the next day it had not helped Imama's distress and hurt—  Javeria's words had confused her. They brought back memories of theshowdown with Tehreem a year and a half ago, and the doubts and questions
about her faith that arose in her mind when she began to study it in detail as a
result of the argument. Javeria had declared that her life's dearest wish was
for Imama to become a real Muslim.
She was in state of strange uncertainty. ̳Am I not a Muslim? Does my closest
friend too not accept me as a Muslim? Is all this simply the result of the
propaganda about our faith? Why is it that only we are being targeted this
way—are we really on the wrong track? Have we adopted the wrong creed?
But how can that be—after all, why would my family and our entire
community do such a thing?'
And perhaps to find the answers to these questions, the next week she bought
a copy of the Quran with translation and notes by a well-known Islamic
scholar. She wanted to know what the stand of other sects was concerning her
sect and their faith. She had read the translation of the Holy Quran earlier
too, but it was one recommended by her community. She did not believe,
before studying the translation and notes by the famous scholar, that the
version she had been reading had changes in certain places, that the
translation of the Quran read by her sect was not the same as the original.
One after another, she read the translations of the Quran published by
scholars of various other sects—none of them had the changes that she found
in the version read by her faith, although they did differ in their
interpretations. As she continued the comparative study of the various
interpretations, her concern and confusion multiplied. Every translation and
interpretation confirmed that Hazrat Muhammad (PBUH) was the last
messenger of Allah; nowhere did they mention or even hint at another
successor or prophet to follow him. Even the truth about the promised
messiah was all too clear to her. The contradictions between the prophecies of
her religious leader and the real events that had taken place became all too
evident to Imama. Before staking his claim to prophethood, their leader had
used the most objectionable language to malign the Prophet Jesus yet went on
to state that the spirit of Jesus had descended into him. Even if this claim were
to be accepted, then according to tradition, Jesus would have lived for another
forty years after his reappearance by which time Islam would have been
ascendant in the world. However, when the Ahmadi prophet died, then far
from Islam being spread across the world, even the Muslims of India did not
have the freedom they yearned for. Imama was further surprised by the tone
and language used by the Ahmadi leader against his opponents and other
revered prophets—could a true prophet ever employ such vocabulary about
anyone as this claimant to prophethood had done?  In a very subtle way, her faith and interest in the literature and holy books ofher religion declined. Let alone her faith and belief, she even began to doubt
their veracity. She did not mention to Javeria that she had moved away from
the literature of her sect and had started reading other books. At home too no
one had a clue about the kind of books she was bringing home to read; she
had hidden them very securely in her room. Only once it so happened that
Waseem came to her room, looking for some book and the first one he laid his
hands on was the interpretation of the Quran she had been reading—he was
stunned.
̳What's this, Imama?' He turned to her in surprise. Her heart stopped as she
looked at him.
̳It...it's...it's the interpretation of the Holy Quran,' she replied, trying to
control the trembling in her voice.
̳I know, but what's it doing here? Did you buy it?' he enquired seriously.
̳Yes, I bought it, but why are you so concerned?'
̳Do you realize how furious Baba will be if he comes to know?'
̳Yes, I know, but I don't find it to be such an objectionable issue.'
̳Why on earth did you need to get it?' Waseem replaced it on the table.
̳Because I want to know how others interpret the Quran and what their point
of view is about us in the light of the Quran,' Imama replied thoughtfully.
Waseem looked at her steadily. ̳Are you in your right mind?'
̳I'm very much in my right mind.' She was quite composed. ̳What is the
harm in my getting to know about other sects and reading their interpretation
of the Quran?'
̳We have no need of such things,' Waseem reacted with annoyance.
̳You may not need to, but I do,' said Imama sharply. ̳I am not in favor of
accepting any beliefs blindly,' she made herself clear.
̳So reading these interpretations has removed your suspicions?' Waseem
inquired sarcastically.
Imama looked at him. ̳Initially, I had no doubts about my faith—now I do.'
Waseem exploded. ̳See—this is the result of reading these kind of books! This
is why I am telling you that there's no need to read these books; our books are
quite enough for us.'
̳I have gone through so many translations and interpretations of the Quran,
Waseem. It is amazing that there's no mention of our sect in any one of them!
In every one of them ̳Ahmed' is used in context of Hazrat Muhammad
(PBUH) and nowhere in terms of our prophet. Even if our sect or our prophet
is mentioned, it is as a false claim to prophethood.' Imama's perplexity was
reflected in her tone.
̳Who else other than these people would say such things about us? If they  were to accept our prophet then the problem would be solved, but they'llnever write the truth about us in their books,' Waseem explained bitterly.
̳And what about our translation and interpretation—have we written the
truth in them?'
̳What do you mean?' He was taken aback.
̳Why does our prophet use wrong terms and poor language for the other
prophets?'
̳He talks of them in his own context—they did not believe him to be a
prophet,' Waseem replied.
̳So should they be abused for not believing?' Imama asked.
̳Yes,' he shrugged. ̳Anger does find expression one way or another.'
̳Anger or helplessness?' she asked him. He looked at her, shocked.
̳When people did not accept Jesus as a prophet, he did not abuse them. When
Hazrat Muhammad (PBUH) was not believed in, he did not abuse the
disbelievers—in fact, he prayed for those who stoned him. The Divine message
revealed to Hazrat Muhammad does not contain abusive language, whereas
that collection of verses which our prophet claims was revealed to him by God
is full of vituperation.'
̳Imama, every individual has a different personality and reacts differently,'
Waseem replied sharply. Imama shook her head—she was not convinced.
̳I'm not talking of everyone—I'm talking about the prophet. How can one
who has no control over his anger lay claim to being a prophet of God? How
do you expect someone who is so abusive to say words of truth and
righteousness? Waseem, I am confused about our religion and its principles!'
She paused, then continued. ̳Reading all these interpretations and
translations, I found that the only prophet of his community was Hazrat Isa.
And I do not believe that our prophet is either Hazrat Isa or the promised
Messiah. No...he is not the one who has been prophesied in the Quran,' she
reiterated.
̳You'd better stop your nonsense now—you've said enough.' Waseem
snapped at her.
̳Nonsense? You think I've been talking nonsense?' Imama looked at him with
surprise. ̳If there's a Masjid-e-Aqsa in our city, then what about the other
Masjid-e-Aqsa in Palestine? Would God want to confuse Muslims by having
the same sacred mosque in two separate places? And never mind the Muslims,
what about the Christians and the Jews—they too believe that this mosque
was the very first qibla. Isn't it odd that we should not believe this?'
̳Imama, I can't argue with you on these matters. It's better that you discussed
them with Baba.' Waseem was tired. ̳You know, you're not doing the right
thing by getting into this pointless argument. I am going to tell Baba all that  you've been saying and also what you've been reading,' he threatened as heleft the room.
Imama was perplexed—she walked about her room, biting her lip. She was
afraid of her father and feared his reaction when Waseem would tell him
about her—and she knew he would.
.........................................