PEER E KAMIL

Untitled Part 33

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̳Hey, Imama! You've come after a long time. Why did you stop coming?' It had been quite some time since Imama had been to Sabiha's and the lecture that was just about to begin.

̳I need to talk to you about some things. I'll wait out here till you're through,'
said Imama instead of replying to her query.
When Sabiha came out of the room 45 minutes later, she found Imama
strolling in the corridor. They went back to the room which was now empty.
Sabiha looked at Imama, waiting for her to begin.
Imama was lost in thought for a while; then she said, ̳Are you aware of my
faith?'
̳Yes, I am. Javeria told me,' Sabiha replied calmly.
̳I cannot tell you how frustrated I am...I feel like running away from this
world! I ... I ...' She held her head. ̳I know that...' She stopped midway
again. ̳But I cannot give up my faith. I'll be destroyed—my parents will kill
me. My career, my dreams, all will be lost. I have even stopped praying, but I
don't know why I cannot find peace. Please try to understand my situation—I
feel all this is wrong, but I don't know what is right.'
̳Imama, accept true Islam.' Sabiha's response was this one statement.
̳I can't do this—I told you what problems I'll face!'
̳Then why did you come to me?' Sabiha was very composed.
̳I don't know why I've come to you,' she said helplessly.
̳You came because you wanted to hear just that one sentence. I cannot give
you any justification. You are not in search of any answers because you know
them. You just have to accept the truth—isn't that so?'
Imama's eyes were brimming with tears. ̳I feel as if the earth is slipping away
from under my feet—as if I am floating in space.' Her voice was choked.
Sabiha did not reply: she was reading ̳Bismillah'.
Imama wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. ̳There's nothing, Sabiha! I
can see nothing,' she said looking at her.
̳La Ilaha illallah' Sabiha began to recite the kalima softly. Imama sobbed, her
face covered by her hands as she repeated the words after Sabiha.
̳Muhammad ur Rasool Allah,' she said next, her voice close to breaking.
Imama was unable to comprehend why she felt so tearful—she had no regrets,
she was not unhappy, yet she could not control her sobbing. When she did
stop after quite a while, she found Sabiha sitting there—and looked at her
with a teary smile.
---------------------      Rabia and Javeria stared at each other in shocked silence. Imama keptdrawing patterns on the floor with her foot, lost in thought.
Javeria broke the spell. ̳You ought to have told us all about this earlier on.'
Imama looked up at her serenely. ̳And what would that do?'
̳At least we would not have had such misgivings about you. We could have
helped you.'
Imama shook her head and in a strange tone, replied, ̳That would have made
no difference.'
Javeria moved closer to her and spoke gently. ̳I am very happy that you have
made the right decision, Imama, that you've turned away—better late than
never—from a wrong path. You have no idea how I feel about this.'
Imama looked at her quietly. Javeria continued, ̳If there's anything we both
can do for you, then don't hesitate to ask us: we'll be only too happy.'
̳I will need your support—a great deal,' Imama replied.
̳Is it because of me that you have taken this decision and changed your faith?'
Javeria was saying.
Imama looked at her, surprised. ̳Because of you?' she thought. Her mind
clouded and a face began to emerge from that fog like someone surfacing from
water. Imama smiled as she recognised the features and heard the voice.
To him who begs for a drop
You grant the seas.
̳Just don't let anyone else know about this. Not even Zainab.' Javeria and
Rabia nodded in agreement.
Poore qad se jo khara hoon to ye tera hai karam
(If I stand tall today it is your mercy)
Mujh ko jhukne nahi deta sahara tera
(For your support lets me not waver)
She knew this voice, she knew this face. It was Jalal Ansar's.
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