benson was going to a new campus because the education system fucked over his grades and he needed an extracurricular so he went to a new dorm.
benson went to his new dorm and he hoped his new roommate was nice.
benson opened the door to his new dorm and saw his new roommate. it was a really overweight guy and he was playing call of duty at full volume
benson: uhh... hi, i'm your new roommate
oscar ignored him and continued to game
benson put his bag down and walked over to him
benson: my name is benson
oscar kept ignoring
benson awkwardly stood there but then eventually went into the kitchen to get some water
benson went to instagram on his phone to keep up the social life then oscar started screaming about how unfair the game was when in reality he just sucked at the game
benson try to make small talk but oscar would tell him to shut up and stop distracting him. so benson decided to go to bed early, since it was late and they had class tomorrow
the next day, benson woke up and he was hungry so he looked around in the pantry only to find stale cereal. in the fridge was a bag of stale hot dogs and a half empty container of stale milk.
benson: geez... there isn't really anything to eat here, is there?
benson saw a pizza box now and he opened it and it was a flavor that he believed was vile. it was spicy garlic cheese pizza and it didn't even seem fresh
oscar came into the kitchen looking very pissed off
oscar: MINE. *he ripped the box out of benson's hands*
benson: dude! just chill, I didn't even want it!
oscar: you can kiss my posterior because i'm never playing your game again! *eating noisily*
benson: whatever dude... hey I'm going to go shopping because we don't really have much food here
oscar: K. pick me up some spicy garlic cheese potato chips, some instant noodles, pick up some pizzas, pick up some chocolate cake, hot wings, mickey d's,
benson: whoa man hold on... i have to write all the stuff down but I'm not sure I would be able to carry everything
oscar: then use the shopping cart, duh
benson: i mean look at how short i am... i'm not sure i can push a cart that would be heavy so i might need help
oscar: helping is not my style
benson: then i'm not sure if i can get everything you requested... i'm sorry, but i'm a bodybuilder and that cart is high
oscar: FINE. i'll help, but i choose what's on the radio!
benson: okay i guess...
benson started his car, which was a golden car because he liked gold and he was popular and he wanted to keep up on his followers on instagram
oscar: SHOTGUN!
benson got into the car not really caring where oscar sat
20 seconds later
oscar: MICKEY MICKEY MICKEY D'S MICKEY D'S MICKEY D'S MICKEY D'S MICKEY MICKEY D'S MICKEY D'S MICKEY D'S MICKEY D'S MICKEY D'S MICKEY D'S MICKEY MICKEY D'S MICKEY D'S MICKEY D'S MICKEY D'S MICKEY D'S MICKEY D'S MICKEY D'S MICKEY D'S MICKEY D'S MICKEY MICKEY D'S MICKEY D'S MICKEY D'S MICKEY MICKEY D'S MICKEY D'S MICKEY D'S MICKEY D'S MICKEY D'S MICKEY D'S MICKEY D'S MICKEY D'S MICKEYS
benson: DUDE DUDE DUDE DUDE WHAT WHAT DUDE WHAT WHAT DUDE WHAT WHAT DUDE WHAT WHAT DUDE WHAT WHAT DUDE DUDE WHAT WHAT DUDE WHAT DUDE WHAT WHAT DUDE WHAT WHAT
OSCAR: MCDONALD'S MCDONALD'S MCDONALD'S MCDONALD'S MICKEY MCDONALD'S MICKEY D'S MCDONALD'S MICKEY D'S FRENCH MCDONALD'S MICKEY D'S FRENCH MCDONALD'S MICKEY D'S FRENCH MCDONALD'S MICKEY D'S FRENCH FRIES MCDONALD'S MICKEY D'S FRENCH FRIES FRENCH MCDONALD'S MICKEY D'S FRENCH FRIES FRENCH MCDONALD'S MICKEY D'S FRENCH FRIES FRENCH FRIES MCDONALD'S MICKEY D'S FRENCH FRIES FRENCH FRIES CHICKEN MCDONALD'S MICKEY D'S FRENCH FRIES FRENCH FRIES CHICKEN MCDONALD'S MICKEY D'S FRENCH FRIES FRENCH FRIES CHICKEN FRENCH FRIES FRENCH FRIES CHICKEN MCDONALD'S MICKEY D'S FRENCH FRIES FRENCH FRIES CHICKEN NUGGETS MCDONALD'S MICKEY D'S FRENCH FRIES FRENCH FRIES CHICKEN NUGGETS MCDONALD'S MICKEY D'S FRENCH FRIES FRENCH FRIES CHICKEN NUGGETS CHICKEN MCDONALD'S MICKEY D'S FRENCH FRIES FRENCH FRIES CHICKEN NUGGETS CHICKEN NUGGETS
benson: okay just calm the heck down bro I'll go through the drive thru-
oscar climbed over benson at the place they take the orders over the intercom thingy
benson: gyah-
oscar: i would like three large fries, four big macs, 3 quarter pounders, with extra cheese, three milkshakes, four dr peppers, six egg mcmuffins, seven sausage biscuits!
oscar climbed off of benson and sat down in his seat again
benson: ok... that is a lot of food. I'm just going to get a cheeseburger and a medium soda
they got their food and oscar was eating his order really really fast
benson: dude, slow down before you choke...
oscar was an eating machine
they eventually pulled into the driveway of the store
benson: we're here, let's go
they got out of the car and oscar was trailing behind
benson: hey I really do need help because I'm pretty short and I can't push a heavy cart...
oscar: guh. why can't you just be tall?
benson: i don't know, dude, but that's just how i am so can you please help?
oscar: ugh. fine.
oscar half ass help him, but his stomach wasn't agreeing to the heavy intake of fast food when oscar has a sensitive stomach as it is. oscar silently regretted eating so much and the expired pizza he ate for breakfast was not helping
oscar's stomach made a sickly bubbling gurgling noise
benson: hey man are you ok?
oscar seemed to be triggered so heavily hearing this question. he glared at benson
oscar: ALWAYS.
benson was skeptical but he kept trying to shop
(to be continued)
YOU ARE READING
benson gets fucking cheated out of happiness
Comédiehe's going to get a new roommate
