MyStandIN: Back to Joe (alternate ending)

10- Back home

Ming... I felt guilty each time I heard his name. Nevertheless I was relieved each time I made that dream in which someone was saving me. Ming... Where was he, while I was in his body? What could he be doing? Was he also looking for his way home? How could I not feel guilty? On the other hand, he had everything I'd ever dreamed of: a loving family, money, countless opportunities.

Mom and I had been on our own since Dad died. We didn't have much, but we managed to make ends meet. Each of us had to make sacrifices. With the other Joe, she was now getting more than I could ever give her. He would also make her suffer less than I had done. I resented the new Joe for taking my life, but I did the same to someone else. Thoughts raced through my head as I was trapped in this injured body. After the hospital, I spent the rest of my time home. Specialists of all kinds came to examine me, tasty dishes were cooked for me. Soon, I would be on crutches.

I still had no recollection of Ming's former life, but I was getting to know his routine as the child of a wealthy family. Despite the accident, I was grateful. I was back, in an environment where I was constantly cared for. I'd been given a second chance, an opportunity to start afresh, to erase some of the mistakes of the past. However before I started making plans for the future, I wanted to pay my last respects, a religious ceremony, so that he would be at peace wherever he was.

I'd only met a few of Ming's friends. They didn't come very often. The new Joe, on the other hand, continued to visit me several times a week. He would often bring me dishes or desserts Mum cooked for me. We sometimes called her together. Today he had arrived earlier than usual, I didn't have the strength to get up, so he joined me in Ming's room. He'd brought me some delicious khanom chan. I'd probably asked fewer questions with my mouth full. As soon as he handed me the desserts, I broke the ice.

- Are you doing all this out of guilt?, I inquired.

- Mom... cooked a lot this morning and... and despite all of this, you must hate me.

- Not really... I trust Mom's judgment. I wouldn't be in this situation if I'd listened to her back then...You're always changing the subject... How did you end up in my body?

- As I've told you many times before... I don't know. I woke up one day, at your place. Like you did with Ming.

Joe played with his hands, not knowing how to formulate his thoughts.

- I used to do that too... Before... when I felt lost...

Puzzled, Joe crossed his arms.

- I... I looked for you, went to priests!, he said as he let a deep sigh out. They just told me... you'd come back... you'd take your body back... I was just waiting.

- You'd better count on it! One way or another!

My gaze wandered over Ming's large, furnished bedroom. Several wardrobes, a large television, a bookcase. The room opened onto a large balcony decorated with green plants. My gaze returned to Joe.

- How do you know this family, were you close to Ming?

Joe bit his bottom lip.

- Not really, no...

- And Tong? You both are often confused...

Joe continued to play with his lips.

- I'm just a stand-in... When he needs me, he calls, I replace him. Simple as that...

- I used to bite my lips like you... before... when I lied. Sooner or later, I'd know the truth, you could save yourself the trouble!

Wide-eyed, Joe was facing me when his phone rang.

- How can I be sure you're not hiding something from me? Maybe you're looking for revenge !, he remarked skeptical. Who would blame you after all...

I ran a hand over the back of my neck.

- Ming did that too... when he was hiding something.

- So what now... Are you planning to run away, once I get out of this bed? 

- No, she... Your... Mum still needs me...

My heart was aching whenever he called her that name. The phone kept on ringing, dragged on and on. Irritated, Joe took it, went out in the corridor. 5 min, again. When he came back I resumed.

- Who were you before?

- A unknown actor... who wanted to be famous but nobody cared.

- What about your family? They're probably out looking for you, worried sick.

- Before... I was an orphan...