A place in this world

O N E

TW: Eating disorder
I woke up to the sound of my alarm, 8.30am. I sighed and turned it off as I rolled over. Another day of nothing. You'd think I would have a routine by now. I don't.
My mom left almost two months ago for her tour in Europe and left me here with Blake and Ryan. I live at my own house but they have to check up on me constantly, just to make sure I'm okay. Of course I lie and tell them yeah I'm doing fine but really I haven't eaten a proper meal in months, my clothes are getting too big and I'm struggling to do anything. My energy is just slipping away. I'm slipping away slowly.

It's not my mom's fault and I know that. The world doesn't really know a lot about me for safety reasons and I know my mom wants to keep it that way. I just want my mom, I've another month to go.

I went downstairs and fed the cats, while making myself some toast. After I cuddled Benji on the couch, watching friends. My phone buzzed, it was my mom.

hey sweet girl! missing you from Poland xx

I smiled, I know it's true because my mom and I were so close. I was her mini me. When I was little I use to try and dress like her and copy her actions. She always found it super cute. Until I grew up and grew out of that phrase, our bond became unbreakable. We were inseparable in so many different ways. She could see right through me and vice versa. I hit send on my reply;

Missing you to mom, have fun :)

I sighed and cuddled into benji more, waiting for the daily visit of Blake.

A few hours later, she appeared with presents. I was beyond confused. That's when I checked the date on my phone, August 1st. My birthday. Not only had I forgotten my own birthday, my mom had as well. I didn't know which was worse; me forgetting because I'm so lonely and forgot to track time or my mom forgetting her own daughter's birthday.

"Happy birthday Indy!!!" She smiled, walking through the front door.

"Thanks." I smiled back at her.

"God I can't believe you're 16!" She passed me some presents, which I opened. It was mostly clothes and some shoes that I had my eye on for ages. I looked up at her and beamed, "Thank you so much!"

I hugged her and she gave me an envelope, I had already opened the card so I was curious as to what this was. I slowly opened it to see three plane tickets to Poland to see my mom. I started to panic, she wouldn't want me there.

"Indy, you okay?" Blake rubbed my back.

"Thank you so much, Aunt Blake, but I can't go to Poland." I gave her a smile, trying not to be rude.

"Why not? I'm sure your mom will want to see you tomorrow." She looked so confused.

"I know but Libby and I are going out with some others for my birthday tomorrow. I can't cancel it." I lied.

"Indigo, I'm sure they'll understand if you cancelled." She argued.

"I'm sorry, i can't go I really am," I kept the lie going feeling awful, "but it's been paid for already, we've all been looking forward to it. I'll facetime mom later and explain." I felt so bad but there's no way mom would agree to this.

She just nodded, "Don't bother, I hadn't told your mom yet. Have fun with your friends though." She smiled, probably happy that I actually had plans.

She stayed for a while, before heading back home. I curled up on my bed after she left, knowing i'll have to hide tomorrow incase she comes to the house when I'm supposed to be out. I texted Libby to see if she wanted to meet up and received no reply.

Sighing, I went downstairs to bake my own birthday cake just for me. My mom and I always use to bake me one every year. I used the same recipe and phoned my mom, no answer. She's probably on stage. I phoned Travis.

"Indy?"

"hey Travy." I always used to call him that when I was younger, "Is my mom with you?"

"She's on stage right now, do you want me to get her to call you later?" He asked.

"no it's okay, it's nothing important." I mumbled.

"Indy..." He sighed.

"yeah?"

"never mind, what are you up to?" He was obviously thinking I just wanted some attention, which was true but not if it was bothering him.

"I'm just baking, sorry I'll leave you be." I said quickly.

"indy-" He said before I ended the call. I put my cake in the oven and waited for it to bake. I scrolled on instagram and saw all of my friends out, including Libby. Tears sprung into my eyes, telling myself they're not worth tears. We were hardly close anyway, which is a lie. I'd known them for years, we all use to be the closest group in school. Libby and I especially were inseparable.
I didn't understand why everyone in my life didn't want me around anymore.

//// hey! New story, ive quite a few draft chapters written for this one so may be updated quicker than forevermore for this week xxx////