The nursery nurse

Wintumn

Tw: mention of suicide, Childloss, Self harm
as always song list at the end
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It had been 5 days since they lost their baby

The moment they got home from Marjorie and Reece's for the what felt like millionth time that week Winter fell onto the couch exhausted, he signaled for Autumn to come lay with him but she shook her head "im going to shower my love" she smiled softly "oh ill come with actually, i think I still have some baby spitup in my hair" he chuckled but her face went into a panic mode. Not any panic he had seen before, "darling?" he spoke as she regained herself "I- I just need a self care moment, I could leave the shower on for you if you need?" her eyes shot from him to the wall and the couch "okay my love, if that is what you need I will respect it" he reassured her. Her panicked face worried him that he did not want to push it. 

She got in the shower, the water stinging on her upperarms, her collarbones and her ribs. She let out a sigh as she washed her hair quickly, she got out and put her robe on making sure to cover the scabbed over cuts on her upperbody. she got out of the bathroom, winter was laying on the bed and looked at her smiling "my beautiful girlfriend" she smiled softly looking at the floor.

-he taught he flustered her
-she felt like he wouldnt think of her that way if he knew about the cuts

After winter had showered he saw Autumn sitting in bed writing, something he hadnt seen her do in a long time, the moment she spotted him she put the notebook down. "I will grab some snacks, wanna watch a movie?" she asked him, something he had always wanted to do but she never agreed to. He smiled, she smiled back. 

-he smiled cause he taught she finnaly warmed up to the idea
-she smiled cause she wanted her final night with him to be special for him

When she walked downstairs he couldnt help but pick the notebook up, he knew he was invading her privacy in a way but he just felt like he had to. The page read:
Winter.
To my love, I am sorry i had to do this. I truely am
Living with the guilt was too much
The guilt of losing our baby
Losing the pureness coming from us
Losing that we looked so forward too
The guilt of ruining the body you loved
Putting all these marks on a body you loved
Making that what you loved so insufferable to look at
But mostly for making me the burden in your life, when you deserve so much more

Marjorie,
Thank you for seeing something
in me, in my brother
thank you for healing a heart 
A heart you didnt beak
and a heart so ugly it was nearly impossible to fix

Reece,
my brother i love you, i am sorry. but all we went trough got too much for me to bare with

When he heard her come upstairs he wiped the tears in his eyes, she walked in with the most heartwarming smile on her face. One would not be alarmed if they had no idea who Autumn was, to Winter it was a sign she really was not okay. "Autumn..." he spoke his words echoing in his own head, "yes my sweet?" she looked at him, he never used her full name. "Did you cut yourself?" he just spit it out, it was like ripping off a bandaid. Her eyes swelled with tears as she nodded like a child who just got caught. Winter got up and grabbed her hand "do you feel comfortable enough to show me?" She shook her head and he nodded "that's alright my love" he reassured her.
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Music list:

Mary On A Cross -Joel Blido
Dancing On My Own -Vitamin String Quartet
Belong Together -Mark ambor
Something in the Orange -Zach Bryan
Queen of Kings - Italian Version -Alessandra
I Don't Wanna Wait -David Guetta, OneRepublic
Galway Girl -Ed Sheeran
Stargazing- Myles Smith
Right Round- Flo Rida, Kesha
Marameo - Alessandra
SOS -(feat. Aloe Blacc) Avicii, Aloe Blacc
Feel Alive- Laura Tesoro
Without You- DJ Fluke
Forget About Us- Perrie