A Winter With You❄️

Chapter 6 - I don't hate you, Dazai.

This chapter contains: Angst, Angst/Comfort, mentions of SH, SA, and abuse! If you are not comfortable you can skip the parts marked as (!). If it is an exclamation mark that is not in parentheses, then it is not a warning, it is just part of the story. You have been warned

(!) With slightly teary eyes the brunette mumbles something about the ginger's earlier words, about 'chibi hates me...'

Chuuya sits next to him and opened the first aid kit, gently grabbing the taller's wrist and starting to unwrap the bloodied bandages.

"I...don't hate you.." he said quietly.

"But chibi said that I was weird and that he hates me..."

The ginger gently took the rest of the bandages off before starting to clean the wounds, "I don't actually hate you. I was just annoyed because of all your pestering and whining."

"C-chibiko...are you mad...?" The brunette muttered. And holy fucking shit was that surprising, the Demon Prodigy of the Port Mafia was afraid of some short executive being mad at him?

Chuuya sighed softly, "I'm not mad. I'm just...concerned.." he finished cleaning the wound and applied some new bandages, "when was the last time you did this?"

"Two days ago..before it started getting colder..."

The ginger looked a little concerned at that 'two days ago? Damn, that was pretty recent.'

"When did this whole...habit..of yours even start?" He asked the brunette 

"Probably...before I made my first attempt...before Mori found me and took me in...before I was 14, so fourish years ago...."

Chuuya was a little shocked at that, they were 18 now and he's been doing that for four years now...he was only 14...

"Jesus christ, that's a long time.."

"I'm sorry...slug.."

The concerned look on the shorter's face didn't go away, "Don't apologize. It's not your fault." He sat there quietly for a moment before speaking again, "can I ask you something?"

(A/N: god damnit...im just writing what i wanted to tell my step sister, but dont worry, i make sure she doesn't anymore, instead i make her write and or draw)

Dazai nods 'Chuuya doesn't usually ask to say or ask something...to me at least...is it something serious?'  He got slightly nervous at what the ginger was going to ask.

Chuuya knew this might be a somewhat uncomfortable question to answer, so he waited a moment before asking "Why exactly do you...hurt...yourself? I've never really asked you about that before."

"It....it hurts me more than how he could ever hurt me..."

The ginger's eyes widened as he realized who the taller was talking about, Mori, their boss...

"Did he...ever...-" he couldn't even finish his sentance, knowing he wouldn't like the answer.

"Mhm...he....he did.."

Chuuya had a somewhat hurt and upset look on his face. He didn't exactly know if you were talking about just physical abuse or something more, but he was already starting to hate their boss for that.

"How bad was it?"

"Um...w-well" Dazai's voice started to grow slightly shaky "I guess you could say...v-very bad...?"

Chuuya's heart hurt a little listening to this and the shaky tone in Dazai's voice. He had a pretty good idea of what you were saying now. 

"Jesus christ...you don't mean-..."

The brunette nodded his head slightly as if to affirm that thought.

(A/N: If you say that Mori is a pedophile well he canonically calls Elise his wife, and as you know, she is a little girl, and his ability is made to his tastes as well. There was also in the english dub of the anime this one line from him "I prefer the women in my life to be under the age of 12" also it's literally a fanfic and AU so shut up pls and ty)

The ginger couldn't say anything after that. He was a bit shocked that Mori ever did that to his work partner.

"How long..have you been...putting up with that...?"

(A/N: istg y'all better appreciate this chapter T-T bc its taken me so long to write bc i dont want it to be a cliffhanger but don't expect a chapter this long again for a while-)

"After a few weeks...of meeting him....and um....its...still going on"

Chuuya was shocked to hear that. Their boss was doing things like that to Dazai, while he was a literal child, and he's still doing it now ?

"So....he's still...making you do...things..." the ginger knew that the sentence sounded wrong, but he couldn't think of a better way to phrase it.

The brunette nodded slightly, looking slightly shaken at the topic, and the memories.

Chuuya's heart hurt listening to that, seeing how shaken he looked.

(A/N: I seriously hope y'all like this chapter bc one of my grandpa's literally died a few days ago)

"How often does he make you do...things....?"

"U-usually for punishment....like..Whenever a mission is failed or something..."

The shorter male's heart hurt even more, knowing that whenever Dazai messes up on a mission, he has to deal with Mori doing those things to you."

"Does he still do it even when your successful?" He asked, worried.

"Sometimes...that's why i'm so careful in our missions."

The ginger executive suddenly felt like he wanted to march over to their boss's office and punch him in the face.

(A/N: he should have tbh)

"If...you don't mind...when was the last time he did that to you."

"The last mission i went on solo, i screwed up slightly and....and...."

Chuuya knew what the brunette was going to say next just from the look he had on his face and how shaky his voice sounded. He didn't make him say it though, knowing it wasn't going to be pleasant for either of them.

"...that was...how long ago...?"

"Three days ago..."

The short ginger's heart hurt a lot more after hearing that, Mori did that just three days ago...

"And how many times has he....done...those things....to you. In total?"

Dazai shakes his head at the question as if to dismiss it. After all, the different punishments had happened so often that he lost count, though he did prefer some over others, after all they were only painful...but the other punishments...those ones...he winced to himself as he recalled some of the memories of those...punishments....he was shaking slightly and wincing at those memories..

Chuuya noticed how he reacted to the question. How much he tensed ip and looked like he didn't want to think about it... he hated that reaction and how it made the brunette feel, so he decided to change the subject, "it's already late, you gonna go to sleep...?"

"Sure..."

(A/N: hope y'all fucking enjoyed that bc omfg I've worked on this part for like 2-3 hrs... im never *probably will* fucking write anything this long ever again. Thanks for reading!)