The More You Listen

5 [ᴡʜᴇʀᴇ ᴡᴇ ɢᴇᴛ ʜᴀɴᴅꜱʏ]

[ 𝐑𝐔𝐁𝐘 ]

It's been four months since Harry left.

Him being gone has been utterly irrelevant to my day to day. At first, it felt like I was being abandoned, a long blade in the back being the only thing he left behind you know besides his money. A confidant that promised me the only power I'd want in the entire world but to that I say, pff. I metaphorically spit on the idea.

I'm gross.

Harry leaving had been one of the bigger blessings. Living with Briddie was and continues to be an absolute pain in my ass but I wouldn't have it any other way. She's my best friend and sort of feels like the sister I never had. When days got too rough she didn't let me quit, didn't want to eat-kicked some sense into me and most importantly, when I missed Harry she would remind me the importance that I have to myself. Harry would never be able to give me what I want, confidence and security. What I struggle day to day with is much bigger than a man.

The bottomless well of money is nice and I don't see what's to complain about but I was desperate to find my own way. I have a job working in Mara's little clothing shop. It's not ideal due the non stop Harry lust she tends to overshare. Luckily she only stayed long enough to train me then she was off. Doing god knows what. I'm not even sure I want to know.

It's a given that I don't have to really spend my money on much, I've accumulated quite a comfy little savings. Possibly enough to get my own place when Harry does come back.

Him coming back is a little less daunting than I anticipated. I can't speak too soon because who knows what'll happen when he gets back.

"Here you go hun," Benny smiled setting down a drink and napkin. I'd taken to a bourbon infused Georgia Peach. Sweet and bitter.

Drinking use to be my escape from reality, a crutch. Briddie and Benny taught me to moderate myself. After spending months not drinking at all, I found myself a happy medium that made me a nice tipsy without falling into a pit of despair. Every other weekend Benny and I have made it a tradition to go out grab a drink. It might sound a bit excessive but we don't get drunk every time. Just something that marks my milestones.

I've been lucky to have him by my side. It was a long uphill battle, still is, but he's given me the pep talks I need when I feel like I'm losing it.

"Thank you Benny," taking a sip. The citrus of the orange juice complimented the bitter of the bourbon. An unusual pairing but good none the less. I drink plain bourbon if I could.

Mmm. Licking my lips, I crossed my left leg over my right. The booth where we sat at had plentiful leg room between the seat and the table. However, I could still feel Bennys jeans against my bare legs. It made for a grounding sensation. Today's I opted for a long sleeve black top, blacked belted mini skirt and a pair of red Manolo Blahnik's. Felt very Carrie of me. Not necessarily my go to but Briddie got them for me after I passed one of my main goals. Losing fifty pounds in such a short time was probably the best thing that happened to me. I wasn't left to all my vices and all the people around me are supportive.