A GUIDE TO DATING MIN YOONGI

Lesson 9: Don't Fall in Love

"So are you guys not going to sit?" Yoongi asked the three guys. He wrapped his arm around my shoulder casually as they fumbled into the chairs across from us.
I tried so hard no to shrink my shoulders as Yoongi pressed his body into mine.
"So, how have you guys been?" Yoongi sipped his coffee with a nonchalant smile on his face.
"Uh good I guess," the middle one with glasses said. "Just kinda busy. I'm guessing you've been pretty busy too." He gestured toward us with an awkward laugh.
Yoongi pulled me even closer, "I guess you could say that."
He nudged me, an indication that I should speak.
"Uh hello, I'm Yoongi's um boyfriend. My names Choi Jaehyun. What're your names?" The name slid off my tongue rather easily.
They introduced themselves separately. The tall one on my left was Seeho, the glasses guy in the middle was Jaewon and the fat right side guy was Wonbin. They all seemed like nice people, and also rich people. They didn't show off their wealth with brands but hid it with nice but simplistic clothes. They tried to make small jokes but there was it so obviously awkward and I could tell Yoongi was enjoying every second of it. Everyone else tried to ignore the gay 5,9 Korean elephant in the room—me.
That was until one of them brought it up.
"So, how did you and Yoongi meet?" Jaewon asked.
I licked my lips, it was finally my turn.
"It was when I was abroad in America," I said with a smile, trying to remember the details written on that paper. "I was studying at a library when he tapped me on the shoulder to ask for a pencil. I let him borrow one but then left without getting it back. He ran after me to get it back. The rest is basically history."
They all nodded as if agreeing with the situation.
There was definitely more to that patched together story but it seemed like they believed it. The conversation broke for a second when the waiter came around to get their orders.
"Well Yoongi, it's really nice seeing you after all these months." Seeho said grinning after the orders were set, "And it really is a surprise, I'd never have thought you'd end up like this." He let out a little chuckle and gestured towards me.
Yoongi tilted his head slightly, "What does that mean?"
Sohee looked at him blankly, "What?"
"You said, 'end up like this'. What does that mean?"
Sohee crossed his hands on the table, "You know what I mean. Jaehyun, you know what I mean right?" He let out a laugh and I awkwardly tried to join in.
Yoongi's grip on my shoulder tightened, "No, he doesn't know what you mean. Please elaborate." He took a sip from his americano. Even though he sank into his seat, it felt as if he controlled the table. Even just sipping from his drink with the cutely decorated cup sleeve felt assertive.
"C'mon Yoongi, when did you get all serious?" Wonbin said and Jaewon too tried to defend his friend.
"Yeah Yoongi, Sohee didn't mean it like that."
"Well then what did he mean?" Yoongi's voice continued to grow more serious. All I could do was sit back in awkward silence and let the conversation unfold in front of me.
"You know," Wonbin explained, "We never thought you'd be gay. I mean, you were a good kid and you're smart. Your parents are religious and you're good looking enough to get a girl. We're just saying like, why'd you settle for a guy?"
I looked at the other two guys and they didn't interrupt him. Were they all really thinking the same thing?
"I never chose to settle for guys I just chose to settle for this guy." Yoongi swung his arm off my shoulder and reached for my hand. He grabbed it and showed it to the three guys. "And you guys can leave if you have a problem with that."
I bit my lip to force myself not to overreact at Yoongi's touch. I mean, anyone would be caught off guard if someone randomly held your hand. He lowered our sign of relationship and he quickly pulled his hand away once under the table.
The air has turned into the loudest voice at the table.
The three guys became awkwardly silent as their mind raced to choose what to do to get off of Yoongi's bad side.
Jaewon started to laugh awkwardly, "We're just playing with you Yoongi, c'mon. Where'd your sense of humor go?"
Wonbin added, "I mean, you did choose a good guy. He's so pretty he could pass as a girl! It's like you're almost normal!"
The other two tried to get us laughing but all I could force myself to do was give an uncomfortable smile. I honestly hated it when people said I looked like a girl or too feminine. Just something about that phrase sounds like an insult. I know it's a stupid thing to be insecure about but it feels so derogatory every time I hear it. I guess being closeted for most of my life didn't help.
A small chuckle emits from Yoongi's mouth, "Normal...huh I never knew being gay made us not normal to you guys." He put his drink back onto the table and I watched him stare directly into the eyes of Wonbin.
"Say Wonbin, how's your girlfriend doing, she's been good?"
Wonbin innocently smiles, "of course."
"That's good. I saw her recently, I heard she does boxing. Wow, she looks so strong she looks like a man!"
His smile dropped, "What did you say?"
"I'm just saying," Yoongi's tone turned stern, "maybe you shouldn't say stupid things if you can't hear it back yourself."
The three amigos were all stiff except for their eyes which were constantly on the move to avoid eye contact.
"And I wouldn't care if Jaehyun was more masculine or feminine. I would choose him any day over any guy."
I let out a loud, nervous cough right after those words left Yoongi's mouth. And then a big gulp of the rest of my coffee, I didn't even care that I was freezing in this cafe that was a bit too well air conditioned.
I knew I had goosebumps forming but I had to cool the warmth in my face and the tingles in my stomach.
I told myself to calm down, he didn't even mean what he was saying. It's all just a ploy for the guys sitting in front of us.
"Hold on babe," Yoongi turned his attention to me, "What time was your meeting with Mr. Park again?"
I gave him a strange expression, "What mee—oh yeah um, let me check my uh calendar again. "
I pretended to look through my calendar while I was just mindlessly swiping back and forth through my apps.
"It's at 10:15." I said.
"Was it that early?" His eyebrows rose, "Well, I guess we gotta go then. We wouldn't want to keep Mr. Park waiting."
"Wait," Jaewon exclaimed, "Mr. Park? Like the pastor Mr. Park? You know him?"
I licked my lips, "Yes, I do. You?"
"My father is friends with him. Since college. How about you?"
I hesitate to open my mouth but I hear Yoongi's voice fill in, "His Uncle is close to him and Jaehyun was wondering, with all those connections, Mr. Park could recommend him for a good job."
I could feel his gaze pan over to me. I allow myself to make eye contact with him.
He smiles at me fondly and slides his hand under my jaw.
"C'mon babe, we don't want to be late." He peels his eyes off me, "It was nice seeing you guys again."

***

I sit waiting in the car for Yoongi. He's finishing up his formalities with the three guys. I can't hear a word they're saying but Yoongi keeps his hands crossed and chest puffed.
I pay attention to Yoongi's side profile which is just so perfect. His lips move in such a rhythm and combined with his visuals, I don't want to look away from him. Except, I force myself to when he takes a glance at the car's direction. I just act like I've been doing something on my phone.
I have no new notifications, boring. Sometimes I wish I had more than just church to look forward to be doing throughout the week. And saying I look forward to church is an overstatement.
I try to slowly bring my gaze back to Yoongi again.
It's hard to see from here, but he has a mole right next to his nose.
I'd saw it when he grazed my jaw earlier. I shuddered. I can't believe I even remember a detail like that.
The car door opens and Yoongi sits down next to me in the drivers seat. He lets out a loud sigh before starting the engine.
"How'd I do?" I asked.
"Huh? Well, I guess you did okay." He started to leave the parking lot, "You were blushing too hard and stiff though."
I clicked my tongue, "and who was the one who put me on the spot? Who made me so stiff?"
"That's what she said," he let out a little chuckle.
"That's...not funny." I said, holding back a giggle.
"Sure. Anyways, are you ready?" He asked.
"For what?" My eyes widened with fear, "Please don't say another date. I do not want to-"
"It's not another date. Geez you hate me that much?"
I looked him up and down with no reply.
"Whatever, anyways, we're going to the bank."
"The bank? What for?"
He sighed, "do you want your money or not?"
I blinked a couple times, "Wait, you're actually going to give me 15,000 dollars? Just like, right now?"
"Of course. Why would I stall it? I would just be in debt to you and I don't like my time wasted."
Relief and excitement flourished through my body. I could feel it overflowing and I had to let out a breath to excrete the excess dopamine.
"That happy huh?" Yoongi said as I tried to hide my smile.
I fiddled with my thumb, "You have no idea how much I needed this. Thank you."
He seemed to trip on his words after hearing my gratitude.
"I mean— it's nothing—you're welcome I guess. I'm just doing a transaction. I'm not being a good person or anything."
I let my smile shine, "Don't worry, I know."

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