First Draft Romance

CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

Roz's lips part slightly, her eyes widening, as if she senses she's made a mistake. I'm too nervous to say anything—all I can do is stare. It all happens in mere seconds, but it feels like forever.

She purses her lips. Pulls her hand away. And quickly looks off to the side, rubs the side of her neck precisely two times, then looks back at me, her head tilted.

"If you weren't my assistant, I'd offer to set you up with a friend of mine," she says. She says it plainly, so matter-of-fact that, if I didn't know her better, I might believe her. "But I don't think that would be appropriate, given our work dynamic."

I draw my own hand back towards me and use it to prop up my chin—all to keep me from nervously tapping it against the table. I try to match Roz's nonchalance when I say, "Yeah, of course. That makes sense."

She nods a few times, then takes another bite of her sandwich. I follow suit, and we take a few moments to eat in silence. Then she says, "I'm actually really hungry."

"I told you so," I tell her lightly. The stinging in my eyes is gone. "Catalina has been texting me over the past week to make sure you eat."

She sighs. "I am so sorry. That's on me for always forgetting to text her back."

"Yeah, well. She's a good friend."

"Yeah." She nods slowly. "She is. Marcella, I'm ... sorry for butting in. I know it's not really my place, and perhaps it's bold of me to assume that we're anything more than employer and employee. Your personal life is your personal life."

I find myself shaking my head. "It's okay." Amazingly enough, I think it is.

"It's also not my place to try and psycho-analyze you. You're not a character. And your views on relationships are your own, despite all we've shared with each other. It was inappropriate of me to say anything. I'm ... I guess I'm just really out of it."

"Understandable, I guess." I shift in my seat. "I guess I get where you're coming from, though. But, I don't think I've been damaged by Gina. She wasn't perfect, but I wasn't always the perfect partner either. I know I could be really lazy? And, uh, pretty tone deaf and kinda selfish at times. I think our whole relationship was just a mistake." The admission leaves me a little flushed, but Roz doesn't look like she's bothered whatsoever.

"I feel that, although I suppose I can't imagine you being like that," she says. "Selfish and lazy and what-not. But, I think I get where you're coming from. My ex and I, we didn't mesh well. But at the time, it felt like we were the stars of our own little rom-com."

"I think that's what happened with me and Gina." As soon as I say it, it makes sense. I don't know why talking to Roz helps me think straight like this, but it's refreshing. Maybe I needed this, even if the start to the conversation was rough. "I don't hate her, I think. I just resent her for some of what she did, just like I resent me for some of what I did. And I feel bad for both of us for having wasted six years of our lives on something we thought was bound to work."

"Six years is intense," Roz agrees. "My ex and I barely managed two."

"Two years is still a long time, though. I just couldn't picture what it would be like to break up with Gina. Where we were, there just weren't any other options in my eyes. Next thing I know, we're four years in, and she was my only lifeline in New York."

"You're from Iowa originally, right?" She's still only a few bites into her sandwich. I feel like we're going to be here for a while—something I don't mind entirely. "Where exactly? I moved from St. Cloud to Des Moines for my senior year."