Fake It Till You Make It

Chapter One

It was a breezy Saturday afternoon, and Taylor was getting ready for breakfast in her hotel room.
For the past few months, food has been a difficult task for Taylor. She was often not eating, and when she was she would throw it up after.
Just as she was getting dressed she heard a knock on the door. She asked who it was and the voice replied, "It's Tree. Let me in please." Taylor let her in, and she had a large omelet in her hand. "I brought breakfast! You have a show tonight so it's important for you to eat up."
Seeing all the food made Taylor anxious, so she decided to protest. "Thank you Tree, but I'm not really hungry. I had a large dinner last night and it still hasn't gone through my system." That was a Lie. Taylor hadn't eaten since lunch yesterday. Even then she only had two bites of a salad, which she threw up quickly after.
"Taylor," Tree said, "you need to eat regardless of last night. You need to have a lot of energy during the show."
Taylor decided it would be best to eat most of the omelet so Tree was satisfied, but quickly make her leave the room after so she could get it out of her system.
Taylor began to eat the egg, but Tree sitting right across from her was making her anxious so she was struggling to eat. Tree looked up from her phone and realized barely any of Taylor's omelet had been eaten. "Is it not good?"
"It's great Tree," Taylor said trying not to raise suspicion, "I already told you. I ate a lot last night and I'm just not hungry."
"Ok," Tree said. She was slightly suspicious of what was going on but she assumed Taylor was just anxious. "try to eat some more. Are you feeling anxious about the show later?"
"Yeah, you know I don't like to eat when I'm nervous." That wasn't a total lie. She was having feelings of anxiety, but not the reason Tree would assume.
Tree got a text and looked at her phone. "I have to go. Try to eat some more, I'll be back at four and we'll head to the stadium. Travis is coming over for lunch right? So you won't be alone anyway."
"Sounds good. Bye Tree!" The moment Tree left, Taylor ran to the bathroom and threw up three times before there was nothing left. After that she was incredibly tired, so she sat down to rest. She hadn't been sleeping at night, most likely due to anxiety about the day ahead. She ended up passed out on the couch.
A few hours later Taylor woke up to her alarm and realized Travis would be here in less than half an hour.
While Travis was on his way he got a text from Tree.

Tree

Tree:
Hey Travis. I know you're going Over
to Tays later, but I've noticed she seems
rather anxious. More than normal.
I'm not too worried, just keep an eye
On her.
Travis:
Got it. Anxious how? Like in what way?

Tree:
I'm not too sure. She was fidgeting a
lot, not making eye contact, and she
Didn't eat much of her breakfast.
Travis:
The first two seem like normal anxious
Tay. But not the last one.  Is she by any
chance relapsing?

Tree:
I have no idea honestly. But
we can hope she's not. Let's
not assume until we know,
It'll just stress her out more.

Travis:
Ok. I'll keep an eye on her.

Taylor just finished getting ready when she heard a knock on the door. She sprinted across the room to see who it was. Satisfying her hopes, Travis stood right outside the door. She swung the door open and leaped into his arms. After all this anxiety in the morning, she was excited to see someone who wouldn't stress her out any further.
"Travis!" Taylor called out, "I've missed you so much."
"Tay, it's been five days," Travis said jokingly.
"Am I not allowed to miss my boyfriend?" Taylor said, matching his comedic tone. She really did miss him though, and was excited he was here.
"Of course you are," Travis said, leaning down to kiss her. "Let's make some lunch."
Taylor's heart started pounding and she fiddled with her bracket, desperate for an escape from eating again. "Oh, I already ate." Lie.
Travis noticed her nervous expression and he didn't quite believe her. "Alright. What did you have?" he knew she wouldn't be able to lie on the spot. She cracks under pressure.
"I had an omelet with cheese." Lie.
"I thought you had that for breakfast?" Travis said suspiciously.
"How would you know that?" Taylor asked confusedly.
"You normally do. I just know you so well." Travis leaned in to kiss her but she pulled away.
"Stop."
"What's wrong babe?" he asked her.
"Have you been talking to Tree about me again?" she asked, almost angrily.
"Tay-" Travis began to explain but he was interrupted.
"No! You don't get to do that." Taylor snapped.
"Babe. Where worried."
"About me? Why?" Taylor was genuinely confused. Not because she thought nothing was wrong, but because she thought she had been better at hiding it this time
"Tree says you haven't been eating, and that you seem off," Travis said synpotheticly.
"Really, I'm fine. I've just been really anxious. It's not eating disorder related. I've been eating." That was the biggest lie of them all. She hadn't eaten a regular meal in months.
"Tay, what are you anxious about then?" Travis asked her, genuinely worried.
"I'm not too sure. Mabey tour? I've just been feeling really overwhelmed."
"Okay, do you know what's making you overwhelmed?" Travis wasn't fully convinced she was eating yet.
"I've just had a lot to think about. I've been having panic attacks at least once sometimes twice a day. You know how much I hate when I get them."
"I know baby. Have you talked to Tree about this?"
"A little." This was the one time Taylor told the truth, "I'm scared that if I tell her too much she'll tell my therapist and then she might make me take meds and that will just make me feel worse and I-" Travis stopped her because he could tell she was getting anxious and she started jiggling her leg.
"Tay, it's ok. You need to tell Tree."
"I can't. I don't know if I'll be able to talk about it." Tears where welling up in her eyes and Travis could tell she was on the bridge of either crying or a panic attack.
"You can't keep feeling like this Tay. It's not healthy. You need to talk to someone."
"I did. I talked to you." Tears started to pour down her face and Travis pulled her to his chest and he rubbed her shoulder.
"I know Taylor. That was really brave. But Tree and your therapist will be able to help you a lot more than me." Travis said while he played with her hair.
"I don't want help. I have it under control. I know it looks bad but I'm ok." Taylor sat up and wiped her eyes dry.
"Taylor. I don't think you do. I think your trying, I know your trying, but you need to reach out."
"Ok. I'll talk to tree, but after the show. She has a lot on her plate, she doesn't need to worry about me being anxious." Taylor did play to talk to Tree, but not about eating. She's convinced them to focus on something's else, and in her mind that was a success.
"Tree will be here in ten minutes, you should get ready, see you at the stadium."