BETA

P A R T || T H I R T E E N

|  D A R R E N

I hate it when my wolf takes over.

I keep such tight control over him that when he does get out he goes overboard in everything. My slip this time hadn't been intentional. It's just that not being able to find Josh where I expected him to be on top of the link being abruptly cut off-I lost control. More like I gave it away willingly, in a way. I didn't put up too much resistance if I'm being completely honest.

I'd felt my wolf's mental tug, felt the tidal wave of concern and fury that swamped through our mind and body surging alongside mine. I barely stood a chance when his will forged ahead of my own, possibly stronger than any other time he'd tried to take over. He was swift and determined while I was the part of the brain that panicked first. My moment of raw devastation at what could possibly have happened to my pup to cut him from me, shut mind from his, was enough. Only a mere split second was all it took to have me riding in the background, peering through my own eyes but through a dim, filtered lens.

I felt the violent tumultuous waves of my wolf's anger as it boiled in our very bones. This time whoever dared to even glance at our mate the wrong way was going to pray to the Goddess that they'd never been made. Beg her to unmake them down to their very atoms, just so they would be able to escape my wrath. And what a devasting wrath it would have been, if there was actually a culprit to impose all of this pent-up rage upon.

But no, there was only a very, very naughty pup who'd just wanted to rile his Alpha up enough to get fucked. I'd seen through my tunnel-like vision the flustered, blushing face of my beta trying to explain his actions while also attempting to placate the irate alpha-wolf he faced. It was kind of amusing, watching him fumble through his words meekly. Cute. His adorable blundering didn't help him at all. It couldn't. Not when our vision was still tinted red and the wolf in control decided that punishment was in order.

To his credit, my beta-mate took the punishment graciously. Okay, that's a lie. My baby practically begged for it and that made our blood boil for an entirely different reason. He wanted our seed. To be filled up and bred by his Alpha.

But he didn't deserve it. Not after hiding from me, after giving me a fucking heart attack. No. My wolf's mind was made up. Denial would be our needy, attention-seeking pup's well-deserved punishment. Denying him what he wanted most. I won't lie, if it were me in charge I would have caved the moment I saw the heat and hunger blazing in his blue eyes. I would have given him just what he'd been craving and more because making sure my mate was happy and satisfied-in all ways-made me happy. And because I love him, and he should know that all he has to do is ask and I'd move oceans for him.

It really wouldn't have been a big deal if he had just come to me outright and told me what he'd wanted. Granted I have been overly precautious since Josh showed signs of going into heat. I just wanted to be careful and not accidentally do anything we weren't ready for. Like having kids. We are not ready for that. At all. The amount of stress it would cause for one thing is something I don't envy Zev and Kaleb, especially right now.

So, yes it's probably my fault and I'd pushed him into communicating what he wanted the way he knows best. Getting under my damn skin. Goddess, he's really done it this time. The thoughts floating around in my head right now, generated by my wolf, were merciless. He truly intended to force our mate into a pliant submission, one that I knew Josh would readily fall into, no force needed. Josh may be jagged and sharp, dangerous and unapproachable on the outside, but on the inside was a man who just wanted to be loved and accepted and kept. He needed assurance that he was wanted. Verbal affirmations of love are one thing, but what my baby really adores is physical expressions of the emotion.

Josh loves it when I shower his body with kisses. When I press his well-muscled body against my own and hold him. When I pin him beneath me and show him just how much I love that he is mine and I am his. It drives him crazy in the best way, calms his insecurities, and makes him melt into a calm, easy-going state, not so jagged and unwelcoming on the outside. I love to see it. Because when I had met him when we were younger, he was just anger given a tiny malnourished body. Tiny, despite being an Alpha's pup and angry because he hadn't been able to rationalize the cruelty of his own parental figure not wanting him anymore. I had wanted him though, as a friend at the time, now that want was very different and consuming in a very different way as well.