The Promise

Chapter Nineteen

That night, I felt giddy as I finished my bedtime routine. That involved washing my face thoroughly, applying a moisturizer due to the sun, and then brushing through my hair. I decided it was late, and I could shower in the morning.

Even after I turned off the bedroom light, I still felt bubbles underneath my skin. It felt like the carbonation of an ice-cold soda bursting in your mouth as you took the first sip. It felt as if my body were going numb but overly sensitive at the same time.

Once I finally fell asleep, I dreamt of those four men—the same four men who were causing such turmoil in my body. I couldn't believe how fast I was falling for these dangerous men, whom everyone else gave a wide berth.

I dreamt of their lips touching mine. A feeling akin to butterfly wings touching my lips. My dreams weren't explicit, but they created a ghost of a tingle upon my lips as soon as I woke up. I could still feel the light pressure of Marko's chapped lips pressing onto my own.

I got up, the sunlight ensuring more sleep was impossible, and showered. I spent time underneath the hot water spraying out of the shower fixture. It warmed my body to the bone. Once I was finished, I had to wipe off the condensation fogging the mirror. I looked at my reflection, realizing I could barely recognize my figure in the mirror. Even though my face was still angular and hollow, my skin was glowing. I looked alive for the first time in almost five years.

"Honey," Mom knocked on the bathroom door with tentative taps. "It's Friday. Can I come in?"

I exhaled, knowing what that sentence meant. Mom had to weigh me every week to keep track of my weight. I sighed but unlocked the door. I couldn't put off the inevitable. Mom came into the bathroom with a scale underneath her arm. She set the scale onto the ground before Mom let me step on the device. The two of us held our breath until the scale settled on a number.

89.9. I was up from last week but couldn't even find it within my body to panic. Happiness from the previous night was still bubbling underneath my skin. My mood dampened slightly from the news that I had gained some weight. I could tell that Mom was happy to view progress.

"You got home late," Mom quickly changed the subject as she picked up the scale. We went into my bedroom, and before I tried to busy myself with finding an outfit, Mom sat down on the corner of my bed as I flipped, a little frantically, through the clothes that I had brought to Santa Carla. I knew Mom wasn't going to leave until we talked.

"Yeah," I nodded. I found a dress I brought from Arizona and tried it on. I frowned as I realized how much the dress hung off my frame. I felt like a kid playing dress up in my Mom's clothes. "I have nothing to wear."

"What occasion?" Mom was giddy when I told her I wanted to go shopping. She was almost bouncing on the bed with excitement.

I mentioned a date, though I failed to contain my smile. I attempted to play it off as not a big deal, but it was huge.

"With those four guys?" Mom questioned. I looked at my Mom, but she had no judgment that it was four guys. I felt my cheeks reddening, but I nodded. "Let's go to the store then!"

"Thanks," I whispered to my Mom, wrapping her in my arms. My Mom enjoyed the contact, even though she cringed at the feeling of my bones. Mom felt like her daughter was in front of her for the first time in ages.

"Get dressed and come downstairs to eat," Mom stated as she turned to look at the clock. "I have a shift at three."

Mom left the room, which left me to get dressed. I slipped on baggy jeans, sneakers, and a thin long-sleeved shirt. I grabbed the forty dollars Grandpa had given me to have fun. However, my guys refused to let me pay for anything at the Boardwalk.

I went down the stairs, auburn hair cascading down my shoulders. Mom had set out a plate of toast and a yogurt cup. I poured a cup of black coffee before opening the yogurt.

Yogurt - 110 Calories
Toast - 70 Calories
Black coffee - 0

I mentally calculated the calories in my breakfast. Even though I wanted to try and get better, it was a habit—a habit to control the number of calories that entered my body. Since meeting the guys, I had felt more stable than in the past five years, but food was still a catalyst. I managed a few bites of toast, followed by a couple of spoons of the vanilla yogurt cup.

Once I was finished, I washed the dishes and consumed what I could. I set the clean dishes and silverware to dry. I left the kitchen to find my Mom on the front porch. She sat in the rocking chair as Mom waited, just enjoying the breeze. Once we had driven into town, we decided on some stores outside the Santa Carla Boardwalk.

After the second store and the numerous outfits I had tried on, I was frustrated. Mom calmed me down, handing me a red dress. I raised an eyebrow at my Mom, as she knew I wouldn't say I liked most dresses. Mom just motioned for me to try it on. I went back into the fitting room and tried on the red dress.

I fell in love with the dress immediately. It felt like butter against my skin. The dress came down to my knees and fitted around my torso, but it flared around the waist. The neckline was square and modest, with thick straps that crossed over the back. I raised an eyebrow at my Mom when I left the fitting room. I spun for her to see the outfit from all angles, but it was decided that this was the dress to wear for my date tonight.

I purchased that dress, along with a lace overthrow to complement and accentuate it. I also found a pair of kitten heels with red gems to wear with the dress. I couldn't wear higher heels anymore until I put on some weight. They caused undue stress on my shins. Mom came back with some makeup and nail polish, and then we checked out.

The money Grandpa had given me was put to good use. After I purchased the outfit, there was little left. Mom took me back to the house before she had to go to her shift at the video store.