Author's POV
Simple words can have a profound impact, striking deeply when spoken by a certain person at a particular time. Those words might not have affected us as much on any other day or moment.
Thulir is experiencing that moment, rethinking everything that has happened in her life so far and realizing how much she has changed. She can hardly recognize herself; she never envisioned being this way, yet this is the reality she cannot accept nor ignore.
"You don't understand, Amma; you stay at home all day, so how would you know? you only know how to do household works...Never mind, I will ask Appa."
Those were the precise words spoken by her elder daughter, Malar, who is now seven years old. Thulir might have overlooked her daughter's comment if she hadn't accidentally come across her graduation photo while cleaning the house, which was taken as she received her PhD certificate from the chief minister, who was the guest of honor that year.
She vividly remembers the joy she felt that day; her entire family was present, and even Agathiyan had taken leave to be there, though he was her secret boyfriend. She managed to slip away at midnight to spend time with him, as everyone believed he was in West Godavari for his ACP duties. That night, he fulfilled her long-standing wish for a midnight bike ride, a rare treat given his usual busyness and her PhD commitments. Their in-person meetings were scarce, but those moments were treasured. Above all, they relished the thrill and challenge of keeping their relationship hidden from their families.
They have been together for 14 years, and married for 11. She wasn't even upset or disappointed when he forgot their 10th anniversary to work on a case. Her entire family, including the young ones, extended their wishes. She has grown more understanding and forgiving; she can't recall the last time she got angry or raised her voice. The birth of the twins brought her tranquility, and nurturing them has made her even more forgiving and patient. Her daughters are quite the handful, especially Malar, the older one, who is a spitting image of her younger self, while Alar, the younger, is calm and composed, much like her father...
Thulir took a break from her profession during her pregnancy due to complications. The birth of the twins was challenging, and the postpartum period was particularly severe, leaving her quite fragile. However, her entire family provided support and helped her through this tough time. As she gradually recovered, her daughters turned three, and Agathiyan received a promotion that came with a transfer to Odisha. Consequently, they had to move with him, and Thulir found no opportunity to continue her career as a professor of Tamil literature. A year ago, Agathiyan applied for a transfer and managed to return to Tamil Nadu, not to Chennai, but to Salem.
Her world centers around her daughters, husband, and the extended family at times. As the first daughter-in-law of Revathi Illam, she seldom visits her own family because Agathiyan often cannot take leave; usually, it's her family who visits them. To avoid burdening Agathiyan, Thulir handles most family matters independently, providing him with peace and relief from household responsibilities. There have been numerous occasions where only Thulir, with her daughters or sometimes alone, was present, as Agathiyan rarely accompanies her, yet she skillfully manages others with excuses.
She excelled as a daughter-in-law, sister, sister-in-law, daughter, wife, and mother, yet she lost touch with herself. In managing all these roles to perfection, she neglected to cherish herself, abandoning the carefree and resolute Thulir she once was when she embraced and committed to her other responsibilities.
She hadn't realized it until that moment when her daughter confronted her with the reality... How could her daughter think she knew nothing and was incapable of anything beyond household chores? Is that what she has become... Is that her identity now?
