Circling Back To You

Chapter 10

Now

Nath

Being "amiable acquaintances" with Kyle might be one of the most painful things I've ever put myself through. Which means a lot coming from me.

At work, it's bearable. Everyone is just working through ideas and logistics on their own, and Natalie hasn't made us do any more "team building" since her stunt with the marshmallows. I owe her big-time for that one.

Mostly, we've just been working in polite acknowledgment of each other. Occasionally though, I'll look up and Kyle will catch my eye, or we'll leave to get coffee at the exact same time, or our hands will brush as we reach for something, and it hurts all over again. Because Kyle is gorgeous, and he's full of my past, and he could have been mine.

Today though, it's been absolute hell. Today, Asher has some kind of interview type thing lined up to go on TV, and somehow the girls have managed to gather everyone in our group together to squeeze up in Alyssa's living room and watch it. Well, more like Alyssa pressured and harassed and begged and Dani blackmailed and arranged until we all ended up here. It's scary how they managed it, really, and since me and Kyle decided we'd actually start both showing up to group gatherings like these, it's the first time in years that we've all been together like this.

I've caught a few questioning looks from Alyssa, a typical eyebrow raise from Cas, and a knowing smirk from Dani, but so far no one has tried to ask about our sudden simultaneous appearances. Mostly, everyone just seems happy that things are like before again.

It feels a little as if I've just been picked up and plucked into the past, as I watch Theo and Alyssa take turns trying to push Asher over when he's not looking, Dani and Cas talking conspiratorially to Emery, and Kyle's famous margaritas on the counter. It's a strange sense of deja vu, like nothing at all has changed in the past six years other than me.

Of course, there are little differences, in the way that Emery has grown about a foot, Alyssa's blonde locks are now streaked with faded pink, and Dani's short bob has grown out into a sleek, rib-length cut. But the way everyone looks at eachother is the same. The way that Cas and Asher still touch lightly eachother on the arm or waist when they think people aren't looking is the same. The way that Theo still laughs loudly and boisterously, almost like a bark, is the same. The way that Dani still sips her margarita with her heels propped up on the coffee table is the same. In fact, the resemblance to the Dani of six years ago, how she looked in our last trip to the Jackson family lake house, is so uncanny that I have to blink several times before the image of that summer fades and the room that we're currently in - Alyssa's apartment over her flower shop, comes back into view.

It's sickeningly nostalgic, and I wonder if anyone else is feeling uncomfortably out of place in this almost memory-like scene, or if it's just me that hates the reminder of how things could be exactly how they used to be. Just not for me.

Well, and Kyle, but still. Feeling like I'm back in time again isn't a great feeling.

"Okay okay!" Alyssa yells to everyone in her announcer voice. "Ash is about to be on TV in two minutes! Everyone take your seats and let's watch the hell out of this thing!"

A cheer goes around the room as we all gather around Alyssa's television, spread out across the armchairs and couch. Asher, who's going increasingly pink with every passing second, shuffles next to Cas and says, "Guys, it's really not that big of a deal. Honestly, it'll be so boring. Why don't we just watch something else-"

He cuts off to a chorus of protest. "Absolutely not. Our kiddo is practically famous." Dani says, leaning over to ruffle Asher's hair like he really is a little kid.