Misery || Wolverine

Part 7

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We drove through the familiar neighborhood of my childhood. I'd throw out random directions from time to time once we got to an actually populated town to ask for direction, from there I'd guiding the way. Stryker had taken us to the other side of New York, so Logan and I spent a couple hours on the road.

As we drove through the suburban streets at a snails pace, looking out for the house that resembles my childhood home, crippling anxiety crept into my stomach, making me almost violently ill. The street looked the same, the same thick branched trees that lined the street, the same beat up cars parked on the same spots as they had been five years ago.

"That's it there." I release with a shaky breath, immediately recognizing the planters amongst the porch furniture. I remember helping plant those flowers. They definitely still lived there.

The truck comes to a halt, Logan jerking the car into park, and we sit for a minute, both our eyes glued to the house. My breath shakes and I forcefully try to swallow back the tears that are forming in my eyes. Every thought of doubt had ever entered my mind. Why was I even there. Why did I want to see them. Maybe to show them I'm still alive? They must be worrying.

I hear Logan sigh from next to me. "Having second thoughts?"

I sheepishly nod, quickly wiping my teary eyes before I peeled my eyes off of the house.

"Look.." He starts off, and I can tell he's about to give me some kind of speech or life lessons. I sit back in the seat and brace myself for whatever horrid truth he's going to hurt me with.

"I've been around a long time, trust me. From the looks of it, you will be too. You'll have all the time in the world to see them, or not. To decide." He tries his best to be sincere, which I understand. He's the only mutant I've ever spoken to.

"But they won't."

His face changes slightly, as he realizes they don't have the same curse as us. Maybe because it'd been so long since he even seen his parents. He didn't even second guess it.

"In those five years.. did they visit you."

His words stab me in the heart as I'm forced to relive every second I waited for my parents to see me. Just for five minutes, because back then I was sure it'd make my day better. Like it would give me hope.

In that moment I accepted defeat.

I shake my head again, looking back to the house, too afraid to meet Logans eyes. "No." I whisper out, my lips forming a tight line to prevent the tears from further falling.

He was right. There was no reason to see them anymore. They had given up on me back then and it wouldn't have changed now. I just felt stupid for holding on to that same childish daydream of being a family again. I wouldn't want them to see me like this anyway. Scarred up like Frankenstein. It was time to face the music, I wasn't the same girl I used to be. And I never would.

Logan remains silent, letting me grief this whole situation. A few more tears fell, a choked out sob escaping my lips as I try to pull myself back together again. Swiftly wiping the tears away with my sleeve, followed by my runny nose, I try to clear my throat.

"There's uh-.. there's a bus stop, probably a mile away."

My eyes quickly give the house one last glance before I feel the car jerk back into gear. I swear I could see a faint silhouette behind the lacey curtains of our living room window. But it was too late, we were moving forward and away from the house, leaving it behind one last time.

It wasn't long until we reached the semi crowded station. It was filled with different numbered stops and parked busses, and people strolling through, waiting for theirs to be on schedule.

"How you gonna get a ticket?" Logan asks.

I raise an eyebrow in curiosity, like he hasn't spent two days with me. I smile. "I'll find a way."

My hand reaches out to open the car door before I hear Logan again.

"You don't even have any luggage."

My head turns to face him, one foot out the car already. "Neither do you."

I step out the car completely, my eyes scanning over the station, trying to quickly think of where to go. The truck was almost taller than me, so I could still see perfectly in. Logan watching me with what I could only guess was worry in his grumpy eyes.

"You gonna be okay out there?" His voice suddenly erupting from his chest, leaning over a bit to be closer to me.

I nod. "Yeah, I can-"

I stop myself mid sentence. I thought about how I could find him if I really wanted to. Or missed his company. I was going to tell him that. Let him know that I can and absolutely would find him if I had to, to ease his mind and ease mine. But I didn't want him to wait for me in case I never did.

"Yes." I give him a solid answer, with a smile.

I wouldn't be totally lost. It wasn't my first time wandering around with nothing to my name. That just means I'll have to do what I did last time, in moderate sections to never attract any attention to my mutation ever again.

We gave each other a solitary nod, letting our goodbye linger in the air between us, soaking it in. When I felt the time was right, or more like I felt I had memorized the details of his face, and replaying every interaction between us that I would replay in my mind until we met again. I don't know why I had a hard time letting go of him. I gently pushed the car door shut and carefully crossed over to the station, watching out for oncoming vehicles.

Logan had stayed put in the car, watching my movements. I glanced back at the car, and he raised two fingers in a wave from how he was holding the steering wheel. I knew he'd wait until I got onto a bus.

I revert my eyes back at the board, scheduling all the busses and to where they went. I scanned over all the listed words until I picked one that was boarding right now. I memorized the platform and made my way to somewhere in the middle of the station until my eyes landed on the big number 9. I stood patiently in line for the bus, my eyes still on the truck where he stayed parked.

My turn came to climb up the steep steps onto the bus. My attention averted to Logan for the last time. I could barely see him in the car, just a vague silhouette caused by the distance. But I waved. And when Logan had seemed satisfied enough, I watched as the truck turned around slowly, the window down with his arm waving back towards me, until he made a full 180 and drove away.

My heart felt heavy as I watched him leave. In that moment I knew I didn't want him to. I knew that I had lied when I told him I'd be okay by myself. But life keeps moving and what done is done. A phrase I would tell myself before I went to bed every night, afraid of the horrors that may haunt me in my sleep and when I woke up.

I stepped onto the bus, preparing for the run of my lifetime.