The Butterfly Project (Sequel to A Cutter's Lullaby)

Chapter 5

"Put Ricky on the phone."

"Why can't you just talk to me?"

"Because I don't like you." Shelby informed me without a hint of hesitation in her voice.

I sighed before gesturing Ricky over to me and handed him the cell murmuring, "Reason with her."

"I can still hear you Chris." She points out.

I rolled my eyes and Ricky quickly began to speak, "So Shelby, the rest of the band and I were wondering if we could drop by to see Nick and her son. We've all really missed her."

There was a pause before I could hear her muffled response, "Alright, I'm sure she'd love to see you guys again. She doesn't seem to have any ill feelings toward the rest of you."

Ricky gave me a wary glance before asking her, "Do you have any idea why she and Chris are so bad off now?"

Her voice came out a bit gentler, "It's not my place to say Ricky."

A few minutes later they decided to make it were we could drop by later today when Nicole got out of class and when Tommy should be awake. After they hung up I couldn't fight my curiosity about why he asked her what he did, but I didn't voice it. I knew it would lead to questions of his own, ones that I wasn't ready to answer. I moved back to my bunk, pulling the curtain shut behind me. I rested my hands behind my head as I laid back and thought about seeing Nicole yet again.

It was still such a foreign idea that she has been alive all along. I couldn't help feeling betrayed by this. I needed to know why she did it before it drove me insane. I knew that I had hurt her and put her though things at the worst possible time, but did I really deserve to suffer like that? I squeezed my eyes shut and gritted my teeth out of frustration. Maybe I shouldn't even go to that apartment again, but then there's Tommy. I really did want to see him again.

I sighed rolling on my side and fished out my phone, deciding to call my little sister Alexandria. When I had said that no one in my family knew about Nicole I may have been stretching the truth a bit. The only reason Alex knew about her was because I asked for advice on how a girl her age's room should be furnished before I even met Nicole. I figured she would be a good person to ask since she was only a year older than Nicole. So, she ended up asking why and after I skimmed over the situation with her, Alex decided to check in on how everything was going now and then. She was the one person that knew the whole side of my story in this ordeal. I figured that she should be the first to learn about her newly acquired nephew and the girl that came back from the dead.

There were just several rings before she finally picked up her phone saying a cheerful, "Hey Chris!"

I smiled slightly to myself, this girl had been determined since day one to see me happy again. "Hey Alex."

"What's up? How's the tour going?"

"Tour has been fine."

"That's good, but that's clearly not why you called."

I moved around until I was on my back again, "And you're right. It's about Nicole..."

She hurried to cut me off, "Chris, we've talked about this so many times I've lost count. You just need to get rid of that picture, that letter, and for god sake please don't tell me you still have that piece of fabric."

I couldn't resist from being somewhat annoyed at her words, but I chose to ignore her question. For the simple fact, I had heard this rant before and there was no way I was getting rid of those things, at least not yet. I couldn't really figure out why I felt the need to hang onto them now seeing as they no longer served the same purpose. It had been my way of hanging onto Nicole, just to have a few pieces of her. I guess I'm still afraid of losing her again.

"No, hang on listen, I found her in LA."

There was a long pause before she spoke, sounding totally baffled, "W-What? How the hell is that even possible? Are you sure you didn't just see a girl that resembled her? Chris, you are really starting to worry me."

"I can promise you it's her. I spoke to her and she's living with a friend of hers that was from Scranton. Trust me, it's Nicole."

"So why did she leave you a suicide note? What kind of sick and twisted person does that?"

"I honestly don't think it's that simple. I believe that there was a reason behind it."

"Uh yeah, she's mentally unstable. I think you should just leave her where you found her and move on with your life guilt free now. None of this has ever been your fault anyway."

"I can't." I tell her deciding not to state that it was my fault, I was the cause of all of what happened last year.

I listened to her sigh heavily into the phone, "And why's that Chris?"

I tried to think of a way to word what I needed to say, but there was no easy way to put it so I just told it like it was. "Because she has my son."

"You had sex with her?"

"Just once."

"And so, I'm guessing you didn't use a condom?"

This was probably one of the most uncomfortable conversations I have ever had with my sister. "I was going to, but I found out that I didn't have any more and I just said fuck it."

"Now you know just how badly it can cost to you to think with your dick and not your head."

I cringed at that. "Really Alex? Did you have to put it like that?"

"Yes, I did. So, would you mind telling me what you're going to tell the rest of our family?"

I bite at the inside of my cheek, "I have no idea."

Her tone calmed down after that. "I'm sorry, I'll help you figure something out. So, what's my little nephew's name?"

"It's Thomas Gregory Cerulli."

"It's sort of sweet that she used your middle name for his first name." She remarks.

I had no clue how I had over looked that and I found myself smiling softly yet again. I guess even after everything that happened between us a part of her still cared about me a bit. Alex and I talked for about an hour about everything that has recently occurred and we also decided to keep the child thing to ourselves until Nicole and I got everything sorted out between us. I decided then that when I and the rest of the band went to Nicole's apartment that I was going to pull her aside. I was going to find out exactly what happened in June and what I was going to do about Tommy.