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"you cannot be serious," raven assures herself, scoffing at sauls answer.
"what? would you rather I lied?" he asked rhetorically, brows scrunched together in annoyance.
"I mean not particularly but you could at least give me a real fucking answer. first of all, why is it that you only hated brandon and nikki when I started going out with them? and second of all, you only ever say you don't like them because they're assholes but you never say what they've done that is so bad? I mean like I get nikki but brandon? really?"
"does it matter? all actors turn into assholes at one point or another," he tells her with a shrug.
her hands immediately reach out but she turns around to contain herself. she took a few deep breaths to contain herself before whipping back around but in the time she took breathing, saul was thinking as well because he had something new to say. "how many times are you gonna blow me-us off for him?"
"What?" she asks, flabbergasted. "is this because I turned you down this morning?"
when he doesn't answer, instead looking away, ravens eyebrows raise considerably and her eyes fall to the ground for a moment. "it's not blowing you off if I never agreed in the first place."
"is there even a difference" saul asks rhetorically as if he really made a point.
"yes a fucking huge one, as big as your mouth," she mumbles the last bit. shaking her head, she continues. "alright, you called me annoying, and selfish and said you hated me when I asked to sit next to you because I didn't want axl's hands on me the whole time we were at dinner last night. why, after all of that, would I want to go anywhere with you?"
saul cringes as she recalls the events that took place the previous night. "you really thought I meant that?" he asks softly.
"you know I did. you, of all people, know how I feel about being called selfish," she narrows her eyes although her scowl falls momentarily, allowing the genuine hurt to take over her features.
and it makes saul feel terrible.
he shakes his head, knowing he can't own up to his own mistakes. knowing he can't force himself to take the hit to his pride and ego that would come with telling her actually regrets what he's said. so he takes the conversation a different route, dragging it out. "you say you hate me all the time, raven."
"not the way you said it, I don't," she immediately defends herself.
"what the hell does that mean? how did I say it any differently?" he asks incredulously.
suddenly, raven forgets why their having this argument in the first place. she wants to be done now. "does it matter?" she repeats his words from earlier.
"if it has you this upset, then yes it matters," he takes a step closer but raven takes one back.
her frown deepens as her eyes finally meet his. "i don't want to talk anymore," she decides, going to turn around. all she wants is to avoid the monstrosity of a ball of feelings bouncing around in her chest.
"cmon raven please," he tries to keep going. she might be done, but he is not. he still has too much he wants to say right now for her to not wanna talk anymore. "I don't want you to be mad at me anymore."
her arms tighten around her body, hugging herself as she tries to find it in herself to continue even though she doesn't particularly want to. "your mad at me all the time. why can't I be mad at you?"
I don't know, okay?" saul snaps, speaking louder than anticipated. his tone, whilst avidly annoyed, is also extremely confused. even he doesn't understand why this whole situation is getting on his nerves at all. "it's... bothering...? me? I guess?"
raven's demeanor switched from confused to annoyed as she now is pretty sure he was lying about it. this had to have been something duff or ozzy put him up to or something. "what the hell you mean, it's bothering you? we're not friends, why would it?"
saul sighs, not knowing how to express himself this time. he hates talking about how he feels, especially as he's never been good at it. "that's different, that's like normal mad where you make fun of me and shit. this is like actual mad and you're ignoring me."
ravens brow furrows even further in confusion (if that's even possible at this point)and she doesn't even have to say anything for saul to continue talking.
he sighs again, getting a bit annoyed with her so-called 'cluelessness'. "you've barely looked at me once since dinner last night. I'd rather have you yelling and glaring at me than acting like I don't exist."
"actually?" she asks unsure, she's pretty unconvinced of his honesty at this point. "you'd rather have me insult me than ignore you?" she asks, voice full of skepticism. when he nods, she's even further unconvinced. "your not serious.... are you?"
"yes raven, I'm fucking serious," he finally snaps. once the words leave his mouth, he seems to be second-guessing himself. he hates how honest he's being with her right now. "I'm sorry."
she takes a long pause, trying to figure out what to do with this shocking new information. finally, she responds with a nod. "okay."
she gives him a tight-lipped smile before turning and going to head back to the group. he's glad because he thinks he's gonna puke if he has to talk about his feelings anymore with this girl. he wants to say something else though, when he notices her smile doesn't quite reach her eyes but he's too late because in the time he was thinking of something to say, she's already walked away.
when he walks back to the group, she's laughing at something ozzy said when she looks over at him. her smile did shrink a bit because, of course, it did its saul, but it did not in fact take a genius to see she was smiling at him. and her smile, as much as he hates it and he'd never say it out loud, made apologizing seem all the more worth it.
as the group continues on their way around the zoo, nikki turns to raven while they are standing around getting lunch to ask her something that's been preying on his mind. "did you and slash date? or something?"
her head snaps to him, confusion and surprise so extremely present on her face. "what? no! why?"
"I mean, I been thinking and it's the only logical explanation," he shrugs. "for the hatred and the reason why he's so goddamn possessive."
"possessive?" she asked incredulously, eyes wide and filled with shock.
"yes, rav, possessive," he gives her a blank look. her brows are furrowed in utter confusion until he nods his head behind her. when she looks over, she sees saul standing there leaning against a wall with his arms crossed, obviously listening to them. as soon as their eyes meet, he quickly looks away and goes over to talk to steven, knowing he'd been caught.
"no," she shakes her head, immediately looking back at nikki. "there's like almost a decade of lore, and it's a really long story but I promise we never dated. he just doesn't want to see me happy," she tells him half truthfully.
"I believe you," he finally tells her allowing her to release a breath and drop her shoulders in relief.
the rest of the day goes on without incident, the group goes back to the hotel and they leave around seven so they can make it to atlanta by the morning. raven ends up getting flooded with ideas for lyrics once she gets back and as she is surrounded by sober flora and ozzy, she's furiously writing in her notebook.
