about you | c.c & k.m

•eight

Iowa; 2022

"What? You broke up with him?" Avery asked, confused, looking at Caitlin who was sitting cross-legged on her friend's bed.

Both friends were in Avery's childhood room. Spring break had just started, and they had returned to their parents' houses for a few days. Being like this, relaxed in each other's bedrooms, talking about anything or just enjoying each other's company, felt like home. It was as if time hadn't passed, as if they were still in high school, as if Avery's mom hadn't passed away, as if they were still the best of friends.

"Yeah, about a week ago," Caitlin said, rubbing her hands on her knees.

"Why? I thought you liked Connor. You've been dating since last year," Avery said, still surprised and confused.

Avery wasn't entirely surprised about the breakup. Even though Caitlin and Connor had been dating for a few months, their relationship was always a bit on and off. She was more puzzled as to why Caitlin hadn't told her about it.

"Yeah, I mean... I don't know, maybe I didn't like him that much? We kind of rushed into dating," Caitlin said, avoiding Avery's eyes. Avery took this as a sign of sadness about the end of the relationship, but that was far from the truth.

Since Caitlin had kissed Connor at the party last year, they had been hanging out. At first, it was casual, then they were kind of dating, and suddenly, they were officially together. Caitlin didn't know how it had escalated so quickly. The kiss happened in November, and by New Year's, Connor had asked Caitlin to be his girlfriend, a question she couldn't refuse.

She did like Connor in a certain way, but she wasn't in love with him. It felt strange to be hanging out and spending time together for three months and then not accept being his girlfriend, at least for Caitlin it felt strange. So, she decided to give their relationship a shot, only to realize it wasn't going to work.

Caitlin hadn't actually broken up with Connor; she had asked for a break. A fake one, because she didn't need more time to realize she wasn't ready to date him or anyone. But once again, she didn't have the courage to just end things, so maybe after the break, Connor would realize they weren't meant to be either.

"I mean, yeah, you never seemed that excited about him," Avery commented, thinking about how Caitlin always avoided talking about Connor or shared very little. "Why do you think it was rushed?"

"Because we kissed the day we met and started hanging out right after. Then we started dating like two months later. I didn't know him that well," Caitlin said, playing with her fingers. "We should've gotten to know each other better before formalizing the union" Caitlin said trying to joke.

"Oh god, you weren't going to marry him. You knew all that actually mattered about him," Avery said, and Caitlin looked at her a little confused.

"Uh, I think so? He's a great guy," Caitlin said, thinking that him being nice was what actually mattered. This brought out a laugh from Avery.

"And was he a great kisser? Or a great time in bed?" Avery asked, and Caitlin flushed a little.

Even though they had been friends for their whole lives, talking about their sexual life was never common for them. Avery didn't start having any experiences in that area until her first year of college, so discussing this wasn't on her radar until recently.

For Caitlin, on the other hand, she had some experience before. Not much, but it was there. She had three official boyfriends in high school but had only been serious with two of them. Nothing great or memorable, she told Avery about her first time. It was not as exciting as she had imagined, but she thought it might get better with age. For Caitlin, it did. She just didn't feel comfortable talking about it with Avery. Even though her friend was willing to listen, it felt awkward for Caitlin to discuss her sexual life with her friend. Queer friend. As strange as it sounded.