Cool With You.

8

HJ|SH

I paced back and forth in the bedroom. I don't know why I got up and left, I'm not understanding the feeling in my stomach right now. I didn't like how I was feeling and it was making me feel so nauseous.

"Hyung," I heard San say and close the door behind him.

"I'm okay I'm fine"

"You don't seem like it, your hands are shaking"

He walked over and grabbed them. I closed my eyes and sighed, my stomach was still turning but San's presence was always so comforting.

"What was that?"

"I don't know," I opened my eyes. "I.. I don't know why I reacted like that"

"Do you–"

"I'm not gay San," I interrupted him

"Stop glaring at me," he frowned.

"Don't assume that about me," I pulled my hands away and sat on the bed.

I wasn't gay.

I couldn't be.

I shook my head as the slight flashbacks of my childhood ran through my brain. I can't remember everything clearer and I don't think my mind wanted me to for my own sanity.

"I saw you looking at Wooyoung for period of times"

"I was just curious about the skirt"

"Does it disgust you?"

"I'm not homophobic San," I looked at him.

"You say that but you do things unintentionally," he started. "I know it's not on purpose, it's just due to your upbringing and you can't help that"

"I.. I was just curious about he was so comfortable and confident to wear it in public, that's all"

He was silent then sighed and sat down beside me.

"You know you can talk to me about anything Hwa"

"I know"

"So what happened? Why did you get so mad when Yunho kissed Hongjoong? I never seen that look in your eyes before"

"What look?"

"Jealousy"

"You're seeing things," I shook my head, looking at the wall.

He was silent, waiting for me to give him an explanation.

"San I honestly can't tell you why I reacted like that but it wasn't because I found it disgusting or jealousy"

"Seonghwa, you look like you wanted to murder Yunho," he said sternly.

"Can we stop talking about this and go back out there?"

"Are you okay?"

I nodded and half smiled. He was searching for something in my eyes then sighed, standing up.