▪️♦️ From the start ♦️▪️

1 0 0
                                    


Since childhood, I have had a fascination with people falling in love and how they care to become so invested with each other. From what my stepmom says my dad and her were just like that, two love birds.

But she couldn't lie that my mother and dad were destined lovers. The kind of love where you are always excited to meet the other and make plans with them. Seeing the positive with each other, and from what Elizabeth has taught me, to be the other person's best friend as much as their lover.

The real reason I am so fascinated with "Love" or the thought of "Falling in love" is if anyone can feel those strong feelings towards me.

Not meant in a bad way but when Nina the nicest person I know got into a relationship. I was happy for her until the day she was knocking at my door and bawling her eyes out. She told me how he was cheating and only using her for her parent's money.

Seeing her this hurt meant that she felt strong feelings towards him. I still remember how she said between sobs "I love him, and-" her voice coming out shaky "Breathe Nina" I say in a calming voice. She breathes in and exhales "And he just threw me away like no care in the world". I tighten my arms around her showing that she is loved, she is seen, she is important. Even for the mistakes, the guy made when it came to her. 

This was my perspective on love or relationship in general. If both parties agree on being together and stay loving each other for like moths, then they like each other, no? But what makes it confusing to me is if both parties say yes and go to others then their partner for sexual comfort.

If you liked the person, you would have told them beforehand that you wanted something different so you wouldn't see the other party hurting. Keeping quiet is a loose rope that will rip at any given time. But through the years I have noticed that relationships can be difficult for some, because of their background or the things they have gone through in life.

My state of love at this time is hanging on its life on a cliff. Nina means a lot to me, so seeing her in this state made me more cautious of my future partner. At the same time, I have three amazing role models for what love is.

I got my warning not so long ago about love, so for now I will just stay away from relationships and any feelings towards any boys. I had still hope for love even when Nina's situation happened, my parents were madly in love, and I am my parents' daughter, so you know.

But around the same time, Nina and her breakup happened I thought maybe I could go and confess my feelings to Rowan. Just to prove a point to myself that he is not like Nina's boyfriend...That there is hope.

But to my surprise, he was no different from the rumors surrounding him. Self-centered pig that uses his power to get what he wants. I might have thought too quickly out of fear, but I would do anything to not be Nina in her broken state. Fear of feeling, fear of showing any romantic feelings towards anyone. In other simpler words, fear of love.

The Boy Has A Secret Where stories live. Discover now