I'm A Pushover. So What?

Untitled Part 1

Ever since I was a little girl, I had always had low self-esteem. I was too shy to talk to people, and when I did make a friend, they would leave in a month because they found me 'too boring.' I couldn't blame them though; I was never good at contributing anything to anyone. I met Melissa and Karen in middle school. The two best friends I could have asked for. They were pretty and popular. Everyone was confused as to why they wanted to be my friend, including me. I guess that's why I did whatever they wanted.

In high school, I met my boyfriend, Lynn; he was the cool, laid-back type. He always came to school late and would forget his homework at home. He would always ask me for notes, which wasn't a big deal since Melissa and Karen would ask for them, but Lynn would always thank me for them. Things changed for me when I came to school late because I slept in. I ran to school in the rain and was soaked as I lost my umbrella. I did have an extra sweater in my locker, but didn't change into it, and went to straight to class. Lynn stared at me during the lesson, and I felt very uncomfortable.

After class, I met my friends at my locker, and Karen said, "Not bad." She eyed me up and down. It had slowly dawned on me that my white blouse had become transparent. Melissa put her jacket around my shoulders, and said, "You walked here without an umbrella? Poor thing." Lynn had approached us. Melissa and Karen smiled at me and walked away. As they did, Karen pulled the jacket off my shoulders where I was left shivering. "Hey, Berry. There's a carnival this weekend, and I was wondering if you would like to go with me?"

I had never been asked out by a boy before, and happily accepted. That weekend, we went to the carnival together. We spent the whole day together. Amongst the games, rides and laughter, I realized that I was in love. That night, I had gone back with him to his house, where we went to his room, and he gave me my first kiss. He wanted to take things further, and I was so excited that I did something that I would regret.

A week later, I found out that I was pregnant. My best friend, Melissa, was the first person I told. She took the news surprisingly well. I was relieved, I knew I could trust her. I didn't know that she would later tell Karen who was less accepting. She called me the night she found out and was irate. She said, "Hey, Berry. What's the big deal?" I was confused, and stammered out, "What?" "Your pregnancy. I was pregnant first! You just had to steal my thunder, didn't you? That pregnancy bump was my ticket to popularity!" She abruptly hung up.

I was flabbergasted. Karen was pregnant, too. The next day, we met at the park like we always do when we have any kind of discussion. Melissa admitted that she was pregnant, too. Karen was angry while Melissa was excited. Karen accused us of being copycats and said that we ruined everything for her. I wondered what she had meant by that but forgot when Melissa wrapped an arm around my shoulders, and said, "Don't worry. She'll get over it. Aren't you happy? We're women now."

It was nice that Melissa was positive, but I was nervous. What was I going to tell Lynn, or my mom? I thought of everything bad that could happen, and decided to tell my mom because it was better to just get it over with. I told her, and she was surprisingly supportive. She told me that I should tell Lynn, because the baby and I would be supported no matter what. I nervously did as my mom said, and he agreed to help quite nonchalantly. I was surprised everyone was in favor of that but didn't complain. In the end, we dropped out of school to start our lives. I guess I learned that even a pushover can stumble their way through life. 

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