as the midnight blue sky starts rising, taking place all over the city dimming the streets, covering people's faces amusingly. her heart gets filled with a nostalgic feeling where she remembers when she used to walk past that old house located in the middle of the city, in a nominal narrow street, most nights it felt quiet, warm and inky.
she and her once wandered for miles, promenaded for hours without sensing the time, recognizing any faces, nor deciding a clear destination.
their starting point always used to be that murky street, it was also were they used to settle at the end of the night.
she also remembered the strong smell of both of their lit cigarettes while the smoke was flowing through the balcony floating high slowly as her eyes were wholly focused on it as it was fading away, till it became clear, and all that was visible was the stars, a glimpse of the moon, the reticence, the serenity of the night but the loudest sound sometimes used to be their laughter together, as well as the warmth inside of each one of them that filled the entire room. after a while, her mothers calls for them while the smell of the scrumptious food spreads and fills the house entirely.
the nostalgic feeling inside her heart kept on growing, stirring and rising till it reached her eyes, it ran down her cheeks coldly, since she's not there to wipe her tears with her warm petite hands.
so she decided to get up from that aerie she locks her self in, she wore a black blouse that smelt like her, and a light blue jeans in a rush. she wandered but this time alone until she reached her home, just to realize that the street is no longer dusky, it's now ignited and kindled.
it doesn't look so narrow anymore, it no longer smells the same too.
her mother's car wasn't parked under her place.
the walls looked newfangled, the road seemed a little smoother than the usual.
thence, she couldn't feel the feeling she used to get, she didn't feel like home. she was in a completely indistinct street she wasn't able to recognize in her memory.
so after stopping, she kept on walking not knowing where to go.
meanwhile she was wandering, a vintage place caught her eyes. all she was able to notice was a blue lighting and also orange, both colors were so radiant, coming out of the same place. she stopped again, staring at it, as the warmth starts to slip into her heart again, following with a guileless smile on her face; she realized that it's not about that street, that place, nor the color of walls nor the smoothness of the road, it's all about her, she doesn't have to be in the same places they used to be to feel whole again or to feel her presence; she's always gonna be with her, within her, inside her heart carrying her along her journey.
she walked from that place feeling extra pleased like it's a sign from God, that she should keep going, she should always look forward, to hold on tight to her without taking any steps back, and that it's okay to carry someone within you even if they're no longer around.
the blue & orange lights were the reason behind her realization because orange represents energy & warmth, enthusiasm and youthfulness just like her.
and blue represents stability, serenity and freedom. and that's how she used to describe her. making her realize that they're never gonna be apart, in the end they're one.
because if we mix blue & orange together all we get is reddish brown, which represents strength, resilience and dependability.
and that's how they both once dreamed of becoming.
she wondered how beautiful the universe is, how it could be utterly mesmerizing just because it guided her to such a fact that filled her with many joyful emotions & gave her a celestial reminder that she'll move forward while remembering it for a truly long time, perhaps till the end of her journey.
she'll always remember that, she is her and her is she despite the differences in their looks, despite their location, their characteristics, they'll always remain as one.
just like brown, after it gets mixed with blue & orange.
she'll smile every time she sees the colors somewhere or whenever she passes by that vintage place located in the middle of the town, suddenly it won't feel lifeless to visit, it won't break her heart one more time to pass by and remember every single detail.
orange & blue are gonna be her muse, just like she was her muse.
and that vintage place will always be her destination whenever she's around the area.
instead of wandering she found a place where she'll partially belong to, hoping that by any coincidence she & her will get to visit that spot together once day, see what it looks like from the inside, and that maybe she'll also feel like she belongs there or even a tiny part of her will.
