Angelic tears

Chapter 1 | The Beginning of a Disastrous Choice | Continued: Unspoken Truths

After the funeral, the house felt emptier than ever. The shadows seemed longer, the silence more oppressive. Every corner reminded me of her—my mother. The woman who had been the center of my universe, now reduced to memories and whispers in the dark.

I wandered through the rooms aimlessly, each step heavy with the weight of my grief. Her laughter used to echo through these walls, but now, all that remained was a suffocating stillness. I paused by the window, looking out at the garden she loved so much. The flowers she tended to with such care were now wilting, much like the fragments of my heart. I began to hate the sight of flowers whenever I saw them; they reminded me of her and all the painful thoughts were always crashing in my mind like a big hammer. I could never see flowers as pretty anymore

I felt a pang of guilt. I should have seen it, the signs of her struggle. The forced smiles, the hollow eyes that mirrored my own now. But I was too wrapped up in my own world, too blind to her pain. I sank to the floor, the tears finally coming, hot and unrelenting.

"Why did you leave me?" I whispered to the empty room. The walls, once comforting, now felt like a cage, closing in on me. I thought about all the times she held me, told me things would be okay. Those words felt like lies now, cruel and distant echoes of a past that would never return.

My mind was a dark maze, filled with thoughts I couldn't escape. What if I had been there more? What if I had listened, really listened, to her silent cries for help? The 'what ifs' tormented me, a relentless chorus in my head. I hugged my knees to my chest, trying to hold myself together, but I was falling apart.

Emma tried to reach out, but there was a chasm between us. She didn't understand, couldn't understand. Her life had moved on, while mine had come to a screeching halt. I was trapped in this endless loop of sorrow and regret, unable to see a way out.

I felt so alone, even when surrounded by people who claimed to care. Their words of comfort felt hollow, their presence an intrusion. I wanted to scream, to lash out, to make them feel a fraction of the pain I was drowning in. But I didn't. I just nodded, smiled politely, and retreated further into my shell.

Night was the worst. The darkness outside mirrored the darkness within me. I lay in bed, staring at the ceiling, memories of her flooding my mind. Sleep was a distant friend, one that refused to visit. The house creaked and groaned, and I imagined her ghost walking through the halls, as lost as I was.

The days blended into nights, a monotonous cycle of grief and numbness. I knew I needed to break free, to find some way to cope, but I didn't know how. The future felt like a bleak, empty void, and I was terrified of facing it without her.

"Mom, what do I do now?" I whispered into the void, hoping for some sign, some answer. But there was nothing, just the deafening silence of a world without her. And in that silence, I realized that this was my new reality—a life defined by her absence, a journey I had to navigate alone.

- Continued