𝟐 𝐬𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐟𝐚𝐦𝐞 （𝗋𝗂𝗇𝗇𝖾𝗒）

．．．

𝖥𝖨𝖭𝖭𝖤𝖸 𝖡𝖫𝖠𝖪𝖤

It's been a couple of years and so much as happened

I'm now 22, Billy is 23, griffin is 21, Bruce is 24 and so is Vance

Robin would of been 21 but he will stay 17 forever

That night still plays on my mind everyday even though we found out about it and thought we talked him out of it, he still done it and didn't survive

After his funeral I took a year long break from everything and quite literally shut everyone out, I refused to speak to anyone and if someone came to talk to me I'd either ignore them or kick them out of my room because I couldn't handle the fact he was gone and I didn't want to believe it either and I still to this day refuse to believe he is gone, I'd sit in my room all day and just watch videos of him, listen to voice notes he sent me

Just anything to see his smile and hear his voice again as if he was still here

After a couple of months my dad was finished with me being miserable everyday so he signed me up for therapy and my therapist suggested once I was ready to attempt to get into another relationship and try to just get on with my life because I was only 18 when it happened

It took over a year for me to get into another relationship with a guy called Noah but he seemed to want to completely replace Robin and attempt to get me to forget him

Robins parents had given some of robins clothes and l some belongings to me and whatever I left at their house in robins room for him I got back and whatever Robin left in my house I was aloud to keep

He definitely didn't like that Gwen absolutely hated him because she believed I was to quick getting into another relationship and took that as I was replacing Robin but she only said that because of how much she liked Robin

Gwen definitely changed after robins funeral she wasn't so nice and bubbly anymore but she flipped when she seen Noah wearing one of Robins hoodies then wouldn't speak to me because of it

Eventually me and Noah broke up because he didn't like how the wallpaper of my phone was the last photo me and Robin took together which was taken a few hours before he committed and I just couldn't change it, it didn't feel right to change it

I kept robins instagram tagged in my instagram bio so Noah didn't like how I wouldn't get rid of that

Every single profile picture got changed to either a photo of Robin or a photo of me and Robin

I would always call Robin "dear" or whatever so I refuse to call anyone else that

For some reason everyone that hated on robin would post things about his death as if it wasn't their fucking fault the whole thing happened, if they would of kept their opinions to their self he probably still would of been here

So after I realised that I won't find someone that I felt the way I felt with Robin I decided to completely be done with relationships I was fine with being single if it meant I got to miss Robin without being bothered

I went back to acting and I got to participate in a movie that would raise awareness about suicide that I didn't realise was in honour of Robin until during the credits that had a honour message to Robin that made me cry when someone pointed it out to me

But I guess it being about an amazing boxer should of made me realise that it was about him

And just because it was actually about Robin it became a movie me, Bruce, Vance, Billy and griffin watched a lot even tho I didn't enjoy watching the movies I made because it was weird seeing myself on the tv screen but Robin always enjoyed watching them but I think he only ever watched them just to see me and he actually told me once that was the only reason he enjoyed me being an actor because it gave him something to watch while I was gone filming for another movie

It did hurt known Robin wouldn't get to watch any more of my films and the last movie he got to watch wasn't even a movie I enjoyed making and he didn't really like it either

Vance and Bruce got married and it destroyed Vance seeing an empty seat which would of been where Robin was going to sit but instead their was a sign the seat that Vance's parents and Bruce agreed on that said

𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐄𝐑𝐕𝐄𝐃
𝗂𝗇 𝗆𝖾𝗆𝗈𝗋𝗒 𝗈𝖿 𝗍𝗁𝗈𝗌𝖾 𝗐𝖺𝗍𝖼𝗁𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗈𝗏𝖾𝗋 𝗎𝗌 𝖿𝗋𝗈𝗆 𝗁𝖾𝖺𝗏𝖾𝗇
♡︎𝖱𝖮𝖡𝖨𝖭 𝖠𝖱𝖤𝖫𝖫𝖠𝖭𝖮♡︎

vance didnt let his emotions take over until he got home but he didn't want to ruin the day all because he missed his brother and he wished Robin was there to witness it

The entire night Bruce was messaging me because he couldn't sleep due to how worried he was about Vance

Everyone was deeply effected by what happened especially Billy obviously other than Vance, he knew Robin the longest and the best

I definitely affected his health and he took up unhealthy coping mechanisms that griffin didn't approve of but he didn't know what to do because it was the only thing getting Billy through it all

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This is the "what if" ending which was ament to be the actual one but I had a book idea so the other ending is the og ending so check out my other book "life in LA"

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