Recovering 6

Chapter 3: Maeve

I make my way towards the school gates reluctantly and plastered a smile on my face that was hiding many secrets beneath. Casey and Aoife, my two best friends waved to me from across the entrance for me to join them by their side
"Hey girl, we missed you yesterday, are you okay?" Aoife asked, a concerning look on her face.
"Yeah I'm fine I was just feeling a bit sick last night that's all" which a lie, the real truth was I couldn't leave my mam alone with him.

When my older brother Darragh was around, It wasn't as bad probably because he took most of the beatings and tried to shield me from it as much as possible but I always knew. Darragh left a year ago after he had a massive fight with my da and I haven't heard from him since. Its so lonely without him and when he left, da directed all of his anger to me which is how my panic attacks started. I've always been an anxious person but it's gotten alot worse recently.

At Aoife's question, the familiar swell of panic raises inside of me. My heartbeat is quickening and my vision is blurred. my legs start violently trembling, threatening to give out on me in the middle of the school hallway. I can't  breathe.
"Are you okay?" Casey says but the ringing in my head is becoming louder and I need to get away before I drop to my knees infront of everyone.
"I'm fine I promise, I'll see you at class" I manage to blurt out before taking off outside and making a run to the alley behind the school.

The rain hits me, and it's grounds me a bit. Stumbling into the alleyway, I drop to my knees and start hyperventilating. Every part of me starts shaking and I gasp as my lungs desperately scratch for air.
I feel like I'm going to die.
All of a sudden through my blurry vision I see a blond head of hair make their way towards me. I soon realise its the school's best hurler, Joey Lynch. His arms are littered with tattoos and his emerald green eyes pierce into mine.
"Hey, you're okay try and take some deep breaths" he says soothingly as he rubs my shoulders and pushes my hair out of my face.
The panic attack starts to slow down after about 2 minutes and I can finally speak.
"Ho-w did you k-now what to do?" I stutter.
"My sister gets panic attacks alot, I'm Joey." He answers.
"I'm Ma-eve, Maeve To-bin" I stutter yet again, embarrassing myself even more.
"Well Maeve let's try and calm down just a little bit more for me" he soothes before taking a seat next to me and passing me a bottle of water that he yanks from his gear bag.

We sit there in silence for a while I take some more deep breaths and sip some water.
"Thank you" I finally break the silence.
"Its okay, do you get them alot?"
"Yeah, but it's fine I'm managing it" I squeak out.
"It doesn't seem like it" Joey states.
"Well I am!" I snap, immediately regretting it.
"I'm sorry" I say smacking my hand against my forehead. "I'm fine I promise I've just been stressed out recently with my classes"
"It's okay, I've got to get to practice. I'll be seeing ya, Tobin" he says before raising to his feet and leaving me sat on the floor of the alley whilst rain splatters against the concrete.