Ùna: Like All & Like None

Chapter V

The next two days passed before I knew it. Seemingly slow while I was in the moment, then as I lay in bed at night it felt like the clock was ticking tenfold. I spent almost all the time during they days just melting into my mind in that drawing room. Only interrupted once when my grandmother came in to scold me about my posture. "You'll have to be more mindful of that, since you'll soon be living with a man. Nobody likes weeping flowers in the home, and I won't be there to remind you of it."

Other than that, I was basically left in silence. Likely nobody asked because it was all women under this roof. They knew of my circumstances and understood them personally. Hearing me voice it out would be pointless. Once or twice, my mother came in to pet my hair, but she was always more of the kind of person to speak through action rather than conversation, and she had already told me all of what she probably had to say that day I came to her room crying. Even yesterday as Helde helped me pack up my belongings, she was silent. Only the sound of her humming on and off as we folded my clothes. 

The past two nights I ventured out again. I wanted to savor my last moments in these woods, revisit all my favorite spots one last time. As I wondered at night I kept thinking about that wolf. How odd it was. How my grandmother and Hilde swore on their grave it was a faerie. How it just vanished in the air that night I saw it, its path ending abruptly in that field. Why did it come to my window? Surely it could have run faster than I and caught me. The questions swelled and spun in my head, but I could not draw any conclusions.

Last night I managed to get that wooden box and the dagger back into my room. I wrapped them in a dress and stuffed it into the bottom of one of the suitcases me and Hilde packed earlier that day. I decided to leave the rest of my stash- the bag and layers of clothing- out under that tree. A rebellious choice indeed as I was set on my grandmother finding it once the snow melts in the spring. A delayed goodbye that gave a nod to what I did right under her nose in this house. 

Today was finally the day for me to meet my new "family." Theodore and Ernest were to be over in the early afternoon. I would wait until then in my room. Pretending I had more to pack but really just soaking in this place. The confines of this room I've had all my life. The safety and entrapment I felt simultaneously from these walls. The green and creme striped wallpaper. The flower engraved moldings that circled the room. My small bed that held me every night like a seed in soil. I sat at my vanity; it was completely bare now. I ran my fingers over its surface, tracing the wood grain. I looked up to examine my face in the mirror one last time. Hilde had done me up all nice today. My hair braided and pinned atop my head. She gave me a bit of extra rouge on my cheeks and lips. The winter always washed me out but today I looked almost porcelain. My freckles nearly gone entirely. Was I actually beautiful? Or was I only so in this bubble, my home. Everyone always told me I am, but out in a whole other land, across the ocean, would I be beautiful over there? Would Theodore think so? It was odd having these concerns. They never seemed relevant until my worth as a woman was being put into the hands of a stranger.

I turned on my stool to examine this old floor one last time. All those creeks that would whine out if stepped on. And I had memorized every inch where they exist. Me, a girl who couldn't read figured that out all on her own. All of that just so to slip away at night. Soft giggles escaped my lips in awe of my sly capabilities. Then, a knock at my door.

Before I could answer Hilde entered. "They are here darling", then bowing her head as she left. I stood dusting my skirt and fluffing it a bit. 

My pulse slowed as I moved down the hallway and decended the stairs. My palms were covered in a cold sweat as they slipped on the railing. "Get it together, ease yourself", I kept repeating in my head. But my nerves continued to rise. With each step my ankles felt looser and looser, like they could just bend and snap with one unfortunate step. As I rounded the turn to enter the kitchen I saw him.

He was bracing himself with his arms pressed into the table as he stood. My eyes glazed from his hands up his arms. His white sleeves were rolled up revealing the muscles in his forearm. I continued to scan the rest of his body. His chest was hidden under the brown suede vest he wore. But it was so nicely fitted to his body that it was all too easy to see how toned he was under those clothes. My eyes moved downward. His pants were dark umber and had the same excellent fit as his vest. The end of them disappearing into his boots. As I ran my eyes back up him I could tell he was tall, his hunched position on the table couldn't hide it. Just seeing the skin on his neck rippled something in me. He was clean shaven and the hair on his head was a rich brown. The natural waves in it making it voluminous, and leaving me to wonder how soft it would feel to run my finger through it.

Then, shocking me out of this slow, silent examination of his form, his eyes met mine. Beautiful hazel eyes and despite my distance from him I could even see the thickness of his lashes. His lips were parted ever so slightly, patiently waiting for me to finish my study of him before he spoke. My face slipped and I smiled. Heat was rushing through my cheeks and I knew I must look blushed. As I tried to stop it, it felt like it was just getting worse. I curtseyed slowly bowing my head, and praying my watery ankles didn't fail me, "it is a pleasure to finally make your acquaintance." My words so breathy as they left my mouth.

Then he chuckled softly, "Oh you'll be much more than that in no time. Please, sit." As I lifted my head his eye met mine again. The way he was smiling at me, did he dissect my looks as I did his?

Shook back to my senses and realizing that others were in the room my eyes quickly darted around to catch everyone else's eyes. My mother was sat at the fat end of table, devishly smirking at Theodore. Hilde stood in the corner, hands grasped at her front and eyes on the floor. My grandmother was sat in the chair closest to Theodore monitoring me silently, as if she wanted to say, "mind your manners and sit like a proper lady, you're practically gawking at the man, very unbecoming of you." Behind Theodore was Ernest, his father. His age was written all over his face and body. Large belly, spotted hands, thin whispy hair barely hiding the top of his head. His eyes were sunken in skin as they bore into me. He wet his loose lips as he continued to stare. And the feeling that gave me woke my body right back up and I quickly slipped back into my polite poker face as I sat.

"Alright, now back to the matters at hand", Theodore said in a casual tone. In front of him were several papers spread on the table. "Here is our copy, this the courts, and this copy for you", he said as he slid one of the papers to my grandmother. "I have already taken the liberty of signing all of them, just yours is required." Theodore then handed my grandmother a quill readied in ink. "Are these the marriage certificates?" I asked. My grandmother sliding her foot into mine under the table for speaking. "Ah, yes indeed", Theodore said twisting the paper on the table towards me. "Here it states - By the light from above and the earth down below, the Heavens bless the unity of Sir Theodore Althem and Miss Ùna Pussett. Through illness, curse, and poverty. Through wealth, nourishment and peace. Only death shall shatter their matrimony." His fingers ran over the words as he spoke. The words spilling out of his lips like silk, but my mind could not connect the swirls on the page to what was spoken. But when he passed over my name my eyes fixed on it. Thats my name. I had never seen it before. It layed on the page right in front of me. Those lines, I didn't even know what the shapes they made up are called. Before I could study my own name any longer, the page was pulled from my view so my grandmother could sign. 

"Perfect. Well Mrs. Ùna Althem, you are now legally my wife." A warm chuckle followed his words. "Of course, we will have a lovely formal ceremony once we get back to the mainland. There you will meet my- your new family. But as of now we are promised." He fixed his posture upwards reaching out a warm hand to grasp mine. His touch. It sent shivers down my spine. My blood pumped from this foreign sensation of a male touch. "Was this what attraction was?" I thought to myself. My nerves rose and I could feel my pupils dilate. In my peripheral however, Ernests eyes were carving into me. I felt like a mouse spotted by a hawk, too frozen to look. I could feel it. He was peeling back my skin with his eyes. His heavy breathing puffing out of his mouth. It made my gut wrench. And as quickly as that sickness flushed through me, "well, I assume you're all packed and ready to go?", Theodore said stroking my hand warmly.