How is This My Life?

Chapter 1

Elise POV

"Hey babe!" Trevor shouted, coming through the front door, suit jacket hanging off his arm. He set his briefcase down, kissing my cheek. "I'm gonna grab a shower. Can we go out for dinner? I wanna talk to you about something." He called over his shoulder as I stopped getting the salad ready for the dinner I was making. It was my second day off that week, so I was just able to relax and get the meal prep for the week done. I'm a nurse and work 3 12's, more if I want some extra money.

"Sure." I said unenthusiastically. We're both 29, and though I say he's my husband, we've never been married. We've been together since we were 16, and he got me an engagement ring when we graduated college seven year ago. I've given up on the idea of actually marrying him. He says 'I don't need the government to tell me if I'm married to you or not.' Que the eye roll. Going to our room in our little two-bedroom apartment I throw on something semi nice because we're probably going to our favorite Mexican place around the corner. It's this tiny hole in the wall building that not a lot of people know about but the chips and queso are fire!

"Ready?" He asked coming into the living room about thirty minutes later. I grabbed my belt bag and out the door we went. The ride was filled with talks of our days and this stressful project he's got at work. Once seated at a tiny table in the back, away from the few people eating there, he leaned in, "I want to talk to you about something pretty serious." Our usual waitress, Maria, dropped off our chips, salsa and my large order of queso, winking at us before leaving us to talk.

Dipping my chip in the queso, I asked, "What's going on? We finally planning that wedding?" I giggled, knowing that wasn't it. His face scrunched at that.

"I want to try an open relationship."

I stopped eating, mid chew, choking on a pointy piece of chip that just seemed to get stuck at the right moment. Couching, I grabbed my sprite, taking a large drink, "Excuse me?!" I shouted. Trevor shushed me, looking around. Everyone was staring at us. He leaned in again before continuing.

"I want to try an open relationship. I've been reading and sometimes it really works to strengthen the relationship. See I was talking to the coworker, Tawnya, and" I put my hand up.

"I'm gonna stop you right there. Tawnya? As in the only girl on your team at work? The one who, last time we went out with your coworkers, was hitting on you in front of me? That Tawnya? The same Tawnya who I told you has been after you for a while?" He nodded.

"I know she's a bit younger," he continued, twisting the knife in. What about all of our plans? What about our future? Had I really wasted all this time on him?! "She's just so fun and carefree. She's like a ray of sunshine, ya know?"

I felt sick. I sat back in my chair. Was I not enough? What the fuck happened? We've been together for thirteen years! "Why?"

"Huh?" He looked confused.

"Why do you want an open relationship. The real answer this time."

"Honestly?" He looked torn, like I'd just asked him to spill dirty little secret he'd been keeping from me. "Because I've always wondered what else could be out there for us. I've wanted to explore more in and out of the bedroom, and with other people. I feel like this could be an opportunity for us to find that out. Give me six months. If in six months, you don't like it, we'll get counseling, and then get married."

"I need to use the restroom. Excuse me." I stood up, beelining the bathroom. I could feel the tears starting. I needed out. Now. Pulling out my phone, I called my bestie, Denise. It rang and rang and went to voicemail. I knew she was probably working on a paper or something to get her NP, so I called her fiancé and my other bestie, Aaron. He picked up on the second ring.

"Hey girl. What up?"

I tried, and failed, to stifle a sob. "El? What's wrong? Where are you?"

"Trevor...he...I...help."

"Send me your location." And he hung up the phone. I went into a stall and cried. It was over. He'd been pulling away for the last nine-ish months. I knew that witch was trying to get her nasty claws in him. She'd finally been successful. Walking out of the bathroom about ten minutes later, I went back to the table with Trevor.

"I'm not feeling too hungry anymore."

"I just ordered for me. You're cool with this right?"

"I called an Uber. I think I ate something funky earlier. Can we talk about this tomorrow?"

"Yeah. I'll be home after work. I'm meeting the guys and Tawnya out for drinks after this. Do you want me to cancel?"

"No. Denise is going to come take care of me if I get too sick." I'll be packing my shit and leaving, is more like it, but I'm not telling him that. He wants to toss our life away, fine. "Have fun. Be safe." I got up, walking to the front door walking out just as Aaron pulled up and I got into this truck.

"El. What happened?" He looked super concerned.

"Can I stay with you and Denise for a while?"

"Always, but I need to know what happened."

"Can you call Denise so I don't have to repeat this? I don't have it in me." He called her, and she picked up on the first ring.

"What happened?! What'd he do to her?!" She sounded panicked.

"He wants an open relationship. So, he can 'explore what's out there' with Tawnya." I spit her name like it was the most foul-tasting thing I've ever had in my mouth. "Can you guys help me get my stuff from the apartment? He's going to be with her tonight." She gasped, while Aaron looked ready to march in the restaurant to kick his ass. "Please?"

"I'll meet you guys there. We can get it all tonight. I'll bring our extra suitcases. Love you both," she hung up. Aaron looked at me, leaning across me, buckling me in. He pulled out of the parking lot and drove back to my apartment with Trevor. I was in a daze.

I knew I had to leave. I was a monogamous girl through and through. There's no way I could ever be with someone I didn't have that emotional connection with, and I sure a shit couldn't be with someone who could fuck someone else while being with me. I needed fidelity. Is that too much to ask?

How...how is this my life?