The Existence of Reconcilable Differences

Chapter Twenty

They sat in silence while Gunner gripped the wheel. The silence spoke louder than the impending fight they were traveling to.

"Are you attracted to him?" Gunner's voice was stern but small.

"I'm attracted to him as a friend."

"Dani, don't lie to me. I know you feel the way you feel about him. And I understand, I haven't been the best. We have a very complex situation but don't ruin what we have before we can have it."

Dani's sigh was peppered with guilt.

"Dani... I love you. And I'll tolerate things just to be with you. But I don't like him. He has a thing for you. It's obvious."

"I know he does..."

"If you know that, then why hang out with him?" With frustrated brows, Gunner gripped the wheel harder. Drops of rain fell onto the windshield replicating how Dani felt inside.

"Because he treats me with respect. He's my friend. It's simple."

"Are you fucking him?"

Dani's neck snapped at him and disgust lined every part of her face.

"Who the fuck do you think I am?! Do you think I'm some slut?! How fucking dare you!" She shouted at him and the thickness of her voice shoved its way into his ear.

"Dani! It's a valid question! You're acting like you can't let go of this!" He shouted back at her.

"Gunner, he's my mentor. He's my friend. I have to focus on my career, I have dreams, aspirations, and goals. I have things I want to do. He is my friend, I don't desire to be with him in that way. Yes, he's attractive. It's noticeable. But I have to get my shit together. Today, a lot of things make sense. Things lined up. And Hunter helped me realize how important it is for me to spend time healing. I'm still dealing with my dad's death..." Dani's voice cracked.

"Is that what he's telling you? He's telling you to leave me? He's telling you to break up with me?" Gunner lost the whole point she was saying.

"I have to heal, Gunner! And so do you. We can't keep doing this shit. This back and forth... if this goes further than what it is, we need to be at a healthier point than where we are. I think... we need to give each other some space. I need a moment... " Her words knocked his energy down.

Dani opened the front door to find Mary sitting at the top of the stairs. The sight of Dani made Mary's body revive.

Her gentle "hey" to Dani was one filled with worry.

"Hey."

Gunner bolted up the stairs, leaving Mary and Dani to themselves.

"Don't worry about it. I'm not upset. I love you, Mary." She wrapped her short arms around Mary and embraced her with the thoughts of every loving memory she'd had of her godmother. It didn't bother her because she wished Mary was her actual mother, so the thought of her father being with her made more sense than anything. It didn't seem like an affair – it was an act of union. She was sure the feelings of deep admiration between them meant everything in their bones. It wasn't just Dani who lost her father. Mary lost a lover and, most of all, a friend.

Healing together was the gift they could give each other.

Dani gently opened their room door. Gunner sat at the edge of the bed, facing the window while the raindrops tapped.

"Gunner... baby?" Her voice was soft and tender. She took her shoes off and sat next to him.

"Gunner..." She tried to get some reaction out of him.

"You're going to leave, aren't you?" She's never heard this tone of voice out of Gunner. He was certainly coated with an indescribable feeling. She knew him up and down but this was a side to him that she'd never seen before. Just the mere tone of his voice was that of someone filled with despair. She's seen Gunner down but she's never seen him in this state.

"... Yes."

She wanted to retract her answer but she knew it would be doing them both an injustice. The whites in his eyes were scarlet colored as the tears trickled down his cheeks. The heart that carried him through the days broke again and knowing he'd lose her, made him drown in loss.

"You don't have to go, Dani. You don't have to leave me." Gunner tried his best to keep the sobbing from exploding from the depths of his throat.

Dani wrapped her arms around his neck as he slumped in defeat.

"I love you. I love you so much. But we have to figure things out on our own. We have to, Gunner." The pain made her hands shake.

Gunner clenched her body, kissed her neck, and breathed in her existence. His tears moisturized her neck. Then... he suddenly stopped. Gunner ripped himself from her and peered down into her eyes. His face was scattered with devastation and panic. Gunner's footsteps thumped out of the room and although Dani wanted to call for him, she knew he wouldn't turn back.