The Typhoon ~Vash x OC AU~

Chapter 25: Letters

Leilani

His brows are furrowed as concentration flattens his lips. He rests his chin in the palm of his hand, supporting the weight of his skull.

He has been like this for the last thirty minutes, and I dare not disturb him. Instead, I stand in the kitchen, refilling our glasses with more tea, my heart sputtering. From here, I can see the tension in his shoulders, and I can only imagine what he is thinking.

I know he's thinking something. This is his fourth time flipping through those pages – his fourth time reading the words I had wanted to say. The confessions. The apologies. The news.

Finally, he sets the pages down and collapses his hands together, his gaze still lingering on the scribbled words. With each second that rolls by, the more anxious I grow.

"Wow," he says. His voice is tight and pitched, uneven. He clears his throat. "That was...a lot."

I grab the glasses and make my way back to my seat. I place his glass in front of him and slide into my chair. All the while, he watches, eyes glistening in the light. I can't read his expression. Not even a little, but I feel the weight of an array of emotions in the air.

I just can't tell which ones.

I inhale, nodding, "I know, and I'm sorry for that."

He lifts one of the letters, looking at it. His expression is still pinched, and I still cannot read it. Anxiety wells in me, filling my veins with heat. Finally, a small smile quirks the corners of his lips.

"I find it funny that you always thought I was so wise and had it all figured out. It never came across that way." His eyes flutter to me. "Youth has nothing to do with it, either. Even now, I have nothing figured out. Just made it look like I did." He places the paper back on the table. "You'll learn that the older you get. You'll be winging it just like the rest of us."

I smile, finding truth in his words. The deeper and deeper I go into life, the more I realize that is true. I don't have a clue what I'm doing. I never have, and I never will.

Jonas takes a small glimpse back at the paper before returning his gaze to me. He inhales, pointing at one of the lines. "There's a certain bit here that has me scratching my head, though."

I fist my hands. I already know what part he is talking about. A part that I wrote back in Stoneburry when rage and anger and fear pumped through my veins. A part that had left me feeling a flurry of emotions – of too many emotions – too soon and too quickly, leaving me swarmed. At the time, I still didn't know where I truly stood, but I knew I wanted to say it anyway.

"Lani," he says, looking at me. "Are you trying to tell me something?"

My heart sputters and I inhale. "I'm not pregnant if that's what you're asking."

He lifts a brow, pointing once again at the line. "But it says –"

"I was pregnant," I interrupt.

Cool coldness flows through my veins and my fingers and toes start to tingle as Jonas's eyes widen. This was the bit I was most nervous about. I don't know why, really. Well, maybe that's a lie.

I do know why.

During my pregnancy, I kept wondering, imagining what Jonas would say if he saw me. Wondering what he would think – if he would be disappointed in me, and right now is no different.

I hold my breath as Jonas takes in what I just said, the nerves swirling in me. I don't know what he's going to say, or how he's going to reply. So, I wait, holding my breath.