APH America x Reader

Chapter 8

Alfred's POV

I felt horrible.

I had woken up in a hospital bed two days ago. I didn't really remember how I had gotten here, it was all foggy.

Matt had brought my gameboy along with my cartridges. I had gotten bored too soon with it. It laid, abandoned, on the table next to me, along with a glass of water.

I really wanted to see Y/N again. She had been so upset when she came to see me, I could only guess how she was holding up. Her Christmas vacation had probably been ruined. And it was my fault.

All of this was my fault. In the beginning, I just wanted to lose a few pounds. Then it got worse and worse, where I could hardly eat in front of people. I knew they were thinking, 'Oh, look at that guy over there. Isn't he such a pig?'

Then I learned this method of weight loss where you could always eat what you want and lose weight. All you had to do was-

Was throw up. I made sure to do it where my brother and father couldn't hear me.

Then it got worse. I basically had stopped eating, had convinced myself I didn't need to. I knew I must have been skinnier, but with my baggy shirts, you can hardly tell.

I told myself I didn't need to eat anything, but every once in a while I would blank out for a while and find myself holding a bag of chips or some ice cream, and I would have to do the horribly disgusting thing again.

The hospital has been real careful about giving me food. A psychologist comes by to see me every so often, but I try to convince myself I don't need a psychologist.

That I don't have a problem.

But the evidence is right here, me being in a hospital room. I'm not home with my family, stringing Christmas lights.

I'm not home, celebrating over a peppermint latte with my beautiful and smart girlfriend.

She deserves more than what I can give her. Not only is she smart, polite, beautiful, kind, and caring-

But her Pokemon team is homicidal.

She doesn't deserve an idiot like me in a hospital bed.

I would give anything to go back home and tell her how much she means to me.

But I'm stuck here.

Dad had brought my phone along with the gameboy, so the best I could do is skype her. Hopefully, she was online.

I made sure I looked alright, double checked my cowlick, and then I clicked 'Y/N'.

It waited, connecting. Then I immediately saw her face. She looked excited.

"ALFRED! HI!" She smiled.

"Hey, what are you doing?" She looked busy. She seemed like she was standing in her living room, but I could see a storage box in the corner of the screen.

"I'm decorating our tree. Look," She aimed the camera at the tree. It was pretty, full of sparkly ornaments and garland. She just had to put the star on top. Her hair was in a ponytail, and she was wearing her Pokemon t-shirt.

"Alfie, I miss you," She pouted. She sat down at her couch.

I think it's so cute when she calls me Alfie.

"I miss you, too," I exclaimed.

"When can you come home?" She asked, blinking. I looked around before asking, wondering the same question as her. They never did give me a set date, I think it's based on how well I'm doing. So far, they say I'm doing pretty well. I've actually gained a couple pounds. I know that's not much, but it's a good start. But I can't give her a good estimate because I don't know what the doctors are thinking. And, I don't want to give her false information.

"I, I guess I don't really know. I hope it's soon though, I have all these things I want to do when I get home." I said hopefully.

"Before Christmas?" She asked.

"Maybe. I really hope so. If I get better quickly, they might."

"Well, get better!" She whined. I laughed.

"It's not that easy, but I'm really trying. I'll ask them later today. I just really want to be home by Christmas." I said. She nodded, agreeing.

"Well, it's great to see you, Alfie," She said, getting up. "Skype me later, too! I'm really busy right now, and-" I heard her dad calling her name. "Oh, gotta go! Bye, see you later!" She waved and I clicked end.

It's awesome to get to see her, but it feels so weird. Like I should be there too, holding her up so she didn't need to get a stepladder to put the star up on the top of the Christmas tree. Like seeing a quilt that's missing a color, or a zoo without the lions. It felt wrong to not be there, watching from the outside.

I clicked the button on my phone and sat it down next to me. I was so bored here, it was horrible. But I guess I got myself into this mess.

The floor felt cold against my heels. I closed the door quietly, and heard the knob click. I had done all the checking that no one could hear me, so I could finally do this. I balled my hands into fists. I looked around the white bathroom, smelling the minty toothpaste that Matt left on the sink, along with his toothbrush. I looked at myself in the mirror, looked at the body I had slaved so hard to improve. Still, nothing had improved much, maybe a few pounds. To be honest, I think I looked worse. I have to try harder.

I have to do this.

I kneeled by the bowl and closed my eyes, swallowing. I was scared. My hands were shaking, and my knees felt weak. The television downstairs blared loudly, so I calmed myself down. No one could hear me, I was sure of it.

I braced myself and stuffed my finger down my throat.

I shuddered. If there's nothing to do here, my mind strays. Into lethal thoughts, most of the time.

I slumped back into my bed, moving my legs around, trying to find a comfortable angle. I could get out and walk around, but I didn't really feel like it. Everything was just depressing here.

Suddenly the door opened and the doctor walked in. I sat up straighter, mostly because I had a question for him. Plus he wanted to take my blood pressure, which I hate.

"Um, doc, I have a question," I winced as he began to take my blood pressure. He looked over.

"Hmm?"

"Do you know when I can come home yet?" I asked.

"Well, your blood pressure is looking pretty good, so I wouldn't worry too much," he said kindly.

"That's good, but will I get home before Christmas?" Christmas is a week away. I was anxious of the answer, and I'm not really sure I want to hear it.

He stopped for a while, thinking. Then he answered.

"If you continue to improve like this, then," He stood up, done with my blood pressure. "Yes, I would imagine you could come home." I grinned. "I'll check you well on, let's say Tuesday, and we'll see if we can send you home the day after."

"Th-that's great!" I said. I could feel my face lighting up. Today is Sunday, so that's only three days until I can go home, if I do well. And I will try my hardest, I can ensure everyone that.

Gosh, I can hardly wait!