parley oneshots

Rules are rules, Parker

Peter was sitting in his mathematics class, bored out of his mind. He had solved all the equations within 5 minutes, so he was on his phone texting shuri. He was about to turn off his phone and take a nap when his phone started ringing. 'Fuck' he thought, his ringer was off. Only three people could get through his dad, Tony, his mom, Pepper, and his boyfriend, Harley.

His Mom was on a business trip, and his dad was probably in the labs, so it could only be Harley. What's so bad about this, you may ask? His Old Teacher had made it a rule that if any phone rung during class, the person the phone belongs to had to answer and put it on speaker. This wouldn't be so bad if the blonde wasn't the most chaotic person in existence.

The whole class was looking at him expectantly, and his teacher glared at him. "I'm sorry, I can't answer this call Mrs." She only riled her eyes at him in return. "You know it. Rules are Rules Parker. So answer now."
He reluctantly answered and put Harley on speaker. The first thing that could be heard was screaming, then loud sounds, more screaming and then swearing.
"Harls?"
The screaming and swearing stopped, and Harley answered with a single "Hey babe." Peter rolled his eyes "don't 'Hey babe' me. You know im in school right now."
"Yeah I know, but I just wanted you to let you know that you need to find a new dad. Im Going to FUCKING KILL YOU OLD MAN."
"What is going on again?" Peter asked way to calm for someone whose dad is about to get killed and his class was shocked to say the least.
"Well you see babe, that FUCKER stole my last cookie and ate it right in front of my face. And he even went as far to say that it's my fault for leaving them unattended. And I only left them unattended because I was helping your sister with homework."

Peter couldn't even say anything because there was shouting and loud bangs again before he could hear someone running. "Hellp me, Underroos, he's chasing me with a pan and screaming curses at me. It was only a cookie. "
"Dad, first of all: you are children. Second, it was mean to eat it. Apologize and give him his phone back right now."

You couldn't hear anything for a few seconds, then Harley was back.
"Hi."
"No. put away the fucking pan. And for fucks sake STOP trying to kill my dad.
I'll buy you new cookies on my way home, alright? Now sit on the couch, and I don't wanna hear anything when I come home. Understood?!"
"Yeah. Sorry, babe. Love you."
"I love you too, I'll be home in an hour."
Peter hung up the phone and only then realized that his whole class and teacher were staring at him. No one said anything until Flash yelled: "WHAT THE HECK?! THAT WAS TONY FUCKING STARK."
"Yeah, and?"
"You called him dad." One of his classmates chimed in.
"Yeah, been doing that since I can speak."
"And he was about to be killed by a pan. And it was your boyfriend who wanted to kill him."  Some girl said.
"Yup"
"About a cookie."
"I know, they are stupid. It happens more often than you would think."

Everyone was mind blown. Peter just shrugged and put his phone away. He ignored the questions his classmates were throwing at him until school ended only fifteen minutes after.

Once he left school, he went to the store to buy cookies, then home. At home, he scolded his dad and boyfriend. And trust me, when I say that you wouldn't wanna hear that.

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Only 626 words, but it's 1 a.m., and I had a quick idea, so bear with me.