Fake Dating (A Biden & Trump Story)

The Full Story

"Why are you crying Joe?" Donald asked wiping the tears off of Joe Biden's rose colored cheeks.

"It's Bernie. I confessed to him today and he told me he- he didn't want anything to do with a prude!" Joe confessed burrowing his face into Donald's chest and letting out sobs.

Joe had been crushing over Bernie Sanders for the entirety of their college lives and he was now a college senior. He had been wreaking his head over and over these past few weeks and finally had the courage to confess only for it to be in vain. It pained Donald to see him this way.

"You are still so young Joe, you don't need to feel this pressure of being in a relationship."

"You don't understand! Almost everyone our age has been in a relationship and here I am with no experience. The pool is already small enough so I don't want to hear about how there are so many fish in the sea. I'm sick of it!"

"Joe-" Donald whispered as he tilted Joe's head to look up at him. "Bernie wasn't worth it anyways... all he does is go out drinking and do meaningless hookups. I don't know what you see in him."

Joe sighed in exasperation. "You might be right but I've had an eye on him for so long. Do you think it would have been any different if I had experience?"

Donald took his words into deep consideration and smirked.

"What if we showed him what he was missing?"

"What do you mean?"

"What if we pretend to date and make him so jealous that he regrets not accepting your confession."

Joe's rose tinted cheeks were now fire truck red. He didn't know what to say but as he thought about it more and more, he kind of liked the idea. He wanted to prove that he wasn't a prude and wanted Bernie to regret his actions.

"Let's do it."

_______

Due to a mutual connection, Donald acquired Bernie's schedule. For the next few days, Joe and Donald lingered on the paths that Bernie would use to get to class in an attempt to make him notice them. They started off by holding hands and obnoxiously laughing at one another's jokes but it did not seem to be enough. Bernie had not once looked their way.

"We need to up the antics. We need to force him to look at us." Trump said one day.

He took Joe up the stairs to Bernie's economic class and waited for the lecture to end.

"What are you doing?" Joe asked.

Joe backed up against the wall as Donald walked towards him. Donald cupped Joe's face in his hands and leaned his forehead against him. They were so close that they could feel each others breaths. Joe's heart was pounding so fast that he could not compute what Donald was trying to say to him nor did he realize the stampede of students that was now heading their way.

"You might as well get your own room."

Joe and Donald broke apart and turned their heads to look at Bernie who was standing there with a puzzled expression.

"Just a week ago you were pining over me... I didn't expect this from you Joe." Bernie said as he walked away.

"Well... that might just be the biggest reaction that we're going to get Joe. He may not have been the most jealous but at least now he knows you are able to pull just as easily as he can." Trump said optimistically as he pat Joe on his back.

"Yeah... thanks Donald I really appreciate it. So is this it?"

"Yea... I hope you realize that Bernie was never worth it in the first place."

_______

Over the next few weeks everything had returned to normal. It was almost like nothing had happened. They stopped seeing each another as much and only saw one another occasionally when they decided to catch up and have a meal together. Joe was finally starting to get over Bernie and realized he had never really known who Bernie was. He was infatuated with a total stranger.

On the other hand, he could not stop thinking about Donald. They had a long history together and they had been friends for many years. Joe had never thought about him in that kind of light but for some reason the small acts of intimacy, though not much, had sparked a small interest in Joe. He no longer knew what to do with himself. This was why he asked Donald to meet up with him today. He wanted to get some of his feelings off his chest.

Joe walked into the coffee shop they decided to meet at when he saw someone hitting on Donald. In a fit of rage, he could not stop himself from walking over.

"How could you lie on your Hinge? You said YOU WERE NINE YEARS OLD" Joe loudly spoke.

Silence filled the room and the man Donald was talking to scowled in disgust before walking away.

"Why did you say that?! I don't think it's even possible to say you're that young on a dating app anyways." Donald asked covering his face in embarrassment.

"Sorry Donald I don't know what got into me but I asked to meet with you because I wanted to talk to you about something."

"What is it?"

"I- I don't think I'm ready for us to be over."

"What do you mean?" Donald asking finally taking his hands off of his face.

"Or I guess I didn't want us to stop. Yes in the beginning this was all because I wanted Bernie to be jealous but somehow in the middle of it.... it had all changed. I can't stop thinking about you Donald. I miss being able to see you everyday and..."

"And what?" Donald asked softly.

"Holding your hand.... Is what I'm saying okay?"

Donald blushed and pulled Joe into a hug.

"If you're saying you want to be together for real this time then yes it's more than okay. I can't stop thinking about you either Joe."

"Why were you flirting with that guy then?"

"If you looked closely you would have noticed it was him who flirted with me. I was actually quite uncomfortable but you miraculously saved me... I would be super touched right now if I wasn't so embarrassed. Wait if you felt this way why didn't you say anything when I asked if I could kiss you?"

"YOU DID WHAT?"

"You know.... That time when we were waiting outside Bernie's lecture."

Joe gasped and smacked his head with his palm.

"So that's what you said... I didn't hear you because I was so nervous."

"So what do you say now?" Donald asked looking at Joe's lips.

Joe nodded and Donald leaned back from the hug just enough to hold the back of Joe's neck and give him a kiss.

"Not such a prude now huh?" Donald asked smirking.