Moving On.

Introduction.

(P.s. This is Soo ae's inner monologue)

During one of my blind dates, I saw Go Eunhyeok for the first time since after 10 years. I told myself that I shouldn't fawn over him, since I'm 28 now and not 18. But, that atleast helped me for a mean while. After Lee Jihoon and I agreed to meet up next week, even If I didn't want to. After the blind date was over I was quick to leave, but Jihoon told me he would drive me back home. Since I didn't want to be mean, I accepted... He then dropped me back at my house... After quickly getting inside and putting my slippers on, I teared up a bit..... All the memories I wanted to bury and forget, came back to haunt me. The relationship, the one from 10 years ago, makes me want to cry. I just want to go back to that time when we started dating. But all these years, I've kept single, without any relationship since that day he left my life. I no longer want to believe in love again. I have problem with trusting anyone anymore since that relationship... It scares me how long it's been since that day when I found out Kang Minwoo, my trashy ex-boyfriend, cheated on me with You Raim, my sister. Both relationships caused me to have severe trust issues. I don't want to be in love again. Being in love, hurts me mentally.

10 years. How long has that been? A decade. A decade since that day when both Go Eunhyeok and Baek Dohwa left my life. I never knew I would see them both again. I never even knew Go Eunhyeok was in Korea...... The day Go Eunhyeok left I tried day after day to contact him, but the words "The Phone you're trying to reach is Unavailable" appeared and then I knew that he left my life without a goodbye or anything. One day he was at school, then the other he was gone. I've wanted to forget Go Eunhyeok, but I couldn't. I couldn't after that cruel leaving, when he left without a word. Just left. So lonely. Never read my texts and my calls. He never contacted me and changed his number. I don't contact him now, but I used to the days after he left. It just was unfair to me. Unfair to everyone he knew.

That was a bitter-sweet goodbye during graduation. I stopped before looking back to the school, saying goodbye to Go Eunhyeok and Baek Dohwa in those memories we made during the little time we spent together. I left all those behind. It was a good reason to never look back. Looking back on it now, it's the best thing I ever did. And I'm glad I did it, since it made me feel better.

But even now, I sometimes I want to believe that I never heard that conversation you had with your father that day. So that I could think you just went on a long vacation. But, I did..... It just hurts knowing that you left Korea to abroad without contacting me and then 10 years passed.

He looked likes his father now. I now never want to remember that conversation at all. That time when we went to a Photo Booth and took pictures and the time when we kissed outside. ALL the memories we had together, I now want to forget. It's all useless now. All that doesn't mean anything to me. I just want to throw it away and never look back on it.

The look you gave me at the café. Were you angry, were you surprise to see me, or were you confused? Tell me. I want to know why. But all that matters is that I move on and you too should do the same. It's for the best. I wonder if you ever thought of me when you left. 10 years later, and I can't move on. I want to. I need to. But it's hard to. You probably had have many girlfriends when you left. It's normal for you to have. But it's not nice of you when you left. It just made me sad. I just can't stand it. But I thank Kang Minwoo switched schools, since I never want to see him again. At the start of Kang Minwoo's and mine's relationship started well. He treated me nice, but then the day he came over was the start of everything. He was cheated on me with Raim. I saw her as a sister. But when I found out about the cheating, I was heartbroken. The two people I used to care about betrayed me. I also forgave him, and got back with him. But I broke up with him again, and then I never saw him again after that. And I wish he's not doing good, since he never treated me right in our relationship. And Go Eunhyeok. Just made me have even more trust issues. You left. That ultimately made me not want to believe in love again. And honestly, I feel bad for Lee Jihoon. He deserves someone other than me, he's nice and all but I don't want to date anyone right now. I want to stay single this time, so I won't get my heart broken again. It's honestly the worst thing ever.

I hope Lee Jihoon, can have a relationship with someone better than me. 

......It's probably for the best........

-To be continued.-