Off Limits: A Hwang Hyunjin Fanfic

Effects of Drowning

Funnily enough, the only thought in your mind, while you were falling, was how the whistling of the wind sounded like a tea kettle. You had only heard the sound of a tea kettle once before, at your grandmother's house. Your mom decided to take out the old blue kettle that had been left under the stove and decided to whip up some chamomile tea with it.

What an odd thing to reminisce about.

After what felt like hours, your body hit the water. The screams you were initially hearing were now muffled. Water attacked you, dragging you downwards. You did learn how to swim, but your body felt like it was made up of bricks and lead, not skin and bones.

Instinctively, you closed your eyes and tried to throw your hands up. In an attempt to get an intake of breath, you opened your mouth. What a stupid mistake. Seawater and other substances flooded into your mouth. Bile rose up but you couldn't close your mouth. When you finally could, you were compelled to close it.

You felt your brain separate from your body, as if you were just watching what was happening and weren't present in the situation. All sense of time was gone. You had never felt more helpless and locked out of your body before. Tears streamed down your face, but it didn't matter because all of you were drenched anyway.

You felt your consciousness slip and felt a peculiar serenity that you had never felt before. You were floating out of your body now, your mind keenly observing the vessel that was once you, flailing about like a fish out of water.

How ironic.

People said that drowning was the worst way to die.

Wait, what? What were you even thinking?

You were dying.

YOU WERE DYING.

No. No, you couldn't die. There was so much left for you to see, to experience. You wanted a stable job and a family. You wanted to taste what a Snickerdoodle cookie was like and wanted to see TXT and ENHYPEN in concert. But most of all, you wanted to live.

Life was so beautiful. All the dips and highs and small straight lines made it an endless roller coaster, yes, but it was a ride you were not ready to get off yet. If you lived after this, you told yourself, you would be selfish and do what you wanted. (a.n. Life is an amazing thing to have, and you should cherish it.)

You wanted to submit your thesis and stand on that podium, certificate in hand. You wanted to go on a date with Hyunjin and did not care about whoever objected otherwise. You wanted to be Hyun-Hee's bridesmaid when she and Nayeon got married in San Diego. You wanted to tell your parents you loved them and wanted to watch your sisters grow up.

You wanted, and wanted, and wanted and that was enough to keep you some kind of awake and alert.

You felt a pair of arms around your waist and another hoisting you up. Concerned chatter and sighs of relief were sounds that managed to seep through the thrumming in your ears.

Opening your eyes and letting it adjust to the light, you collapsed onto the dock. You threw up whatever was inside of you, feeling someone patting your back.

━━━━━━━✦✗✦━━━━━━━━

Somebody helped you stand up since you were still shaken up by the whole incident. You could see a small crowd on the actual beach and a drenched Nayeon in front of you. Hyunjin must have been the one holding you up then.

Hyun-Hee's face was frozen in shock, eyes still glued to the place where you had fallen. When she finally looked up at you, she let out a choked sob, and eventually a torrent of tears fell from her eyes. Watching her cry made you cry, as you were gently tugged back to the beach by Hyunjin.