Screen of Secrets

Chapter 13

Evan

I asked my mom why Bella wasn’t moving. Again, my mom didn't say anything. Is it what I'm thinking? No, it can't be. I can hardly breathe.

I ran straight to Bella, dropped to my knees, and held her in my hands, hoping for some movement as I touched her. But there was none. I softly petted her under her chin, still hoping. But nothing.

“Is she—” I swallowed hard, “Is she d-dead, Mom?” I looked at my mom, hoping she’d say no. But she didn’t. Bella really was gone.

I held Bella and cried for hours, until my dad asked me to let her go. I didn't want to. I loved her. Why did it have to be her and not me? My Bella.

Finally, I let go, and my dad took her to bury her in our garden. I couldn’t summon the courage to watch, but my mom held me and led me there to see her one last time. I cried like a baby, clinging to my mom, hiding behind her as my dad buried Bella. Then I went to my room without saying anything.

I called Nathan and told him about Bella. He was so worried about me that he insisted on coming over right away. After I hung up, my mom came in. I asked her what had happened, and she said they thought Bella ate something wrong while playing with a ball when my mom took her out for a walk in the garden. Mom had been talking to a friend, and Bella must have eaten something she shouldn’t have. That’s so unfair. Bella never ate anything from anywhere but our hands—mine, Dad’s, or Mom’s. One mistake, just one time, and now she’s gone. I couldn’t believe it. I hoped I’d soon wake up and realize it was just a nightmare. Then I’d hug Bella so hard, I’d never let her go.

The doorbell rang. Nathan was here. My mom left my room, and Nathan came in.

I hugged him as soon as he entered, and being in his arms made me feel safe. He stood there until I was done, rubbing his hands through my hair as I cried on his shoulder. I looked up at him with my tear-filled eyes, and he kissed me gently on the forehead. We sat on my bed, and I told him everything, crying like a baby. He cupped my cheeks and gently wiped my tears away. We stayed like that for hours.

Finally, I told Nathan to leave. After insisting a few times, he did.

Later, I got a message from Fred:

“Are you okay? Nathan told me about Bella. I’m sorry to hear this.”

I replied, “Yes, I’m okay, thanks for asking.”

I wish I really was okay, but right now, I’m not.