As Soft As Snow

A Part to Play Perfectly

"1, 2, 3! 2, 2, 3...!" Madame counts the tempo of the waltz as I glide across the floor. The tape marks on the Marley are slippery under my pointe shoes but I twirl, beautiful and weightless. Like a swan on water. Madame abruptly pauses the music, causing me to freeze. She walks over and pulls me to the side. "Emilie, I've been thinking... I would like you to play Marie!" She whispers. I thank her with a curtsy, and while she walks off, I run over to my friends Lucille, Natalia, Emily, Amy, and Marlowe.

I practically shout, "I got Marie!" They all congratulate me, with "Congrats!" and "Great Job!" But I don't feel happy. "Alright, class. I would like to announce the cast! Now, you all did an incredible job, and everyone got a part but there can only be one Marie. She will be played by... Emilie!" Madame announced. Everyone clapped and my friends giggled.

"The party girls are Lucille, Emily, Marlowe, Amy, and Natalia, Fritz will be played by James, the party boys will be played by Louis, Benjamin, Alexander, Zachary, and Gregory, Mrs. and Mr. Stahlbaum will be played by Ms. Louisa and Mr. Alexander, The Polichinelles will be Emmie, Jake, Nora, Damien, Jenny, and Calving, Mother Ginger will be Hannah Annonishe, The Candy Canes will be..." this continued on for a while until Madame surprised us even more.

"This year," she said, "Emilie will also dance duets with the Sugar Plum Fairy, Queen of the Flowers, and Queen of the Snow!" My heart stopped. This was the biggest part. Everyone was relying on me. I caught his smile in the corner of the room. Everything else melted away, becoming background noise on our stage.

And then Madame announced it, "Now... I would like to announce the second star of the show..., it's namesake. The Nutcracker Prince... Will!" He smiled, took a graceful ballet bow, and sent a wink in my direction. I collected myself and turned away, my attention back on my friends, who were excited about their parts. I celebrated along with them before Madame told us the class was dismissed, heading out the door.

My friends all left with quick goodbyes and I sat down on the ground which had become my home over the last nine years since I joined at six. My mom needed something for me to do when she worked late shifts but she never imagined that I would stick with it for this long. I pull out my long red wrap skirt from my bag, tying it around my waist. I like the way it is vibrant and stands out against the lacy black leotard I have on, my favorite one. I walk to the center of the room with my eyes closed, like they've been since everybody left.

By now, I know this room inside out. I could dance here in my sleep. I could tell you where everyone likes to stand, how Madame drinks her coffee, what the piano player's favorite song to play is, and where everyone is going everyday after they leave this studio. I'm an observer. I take in things people would normally miss, or not even think about. My mom says I'm just like my dad was. I also have his hair and his eyes, but I have my mom's nose, chin, cheekbones, and mouth. I'm pretty sure that it's good because my mom looks like a model. She laughs when I say this, the melodic sound reverberating across the living room walls with the peeling blue paint at home.

Back in the room I begin to dance, not caring what I'm doing. My hands float slowly through the air as my pointe shoes glide my toes across the taped gray floor. I stop after a few minutes and then I start my Esmeralda solo that Madame has been working on with me since last spring and that she has promised I get to perform this spring.

I would have done it last year, but the theater was lit on fire and almost burned down. Luckily, we were able to quickly restore it for the upcoming Nutcracker, which meant I got to be back in my home. When I'm finished I open my eyes for the first time after everyone left and jumped. Will. He smiled at me from the back corner and came over to where I was standing. He cocked an eyebrow at me and said, "How did you do that?" I glance at my shoes unsure. "What? The dance?" I whisper. He laughs softly, a sweet sound, and nods as I look up.