I'm Yours

It's You

Y/N's POV

I finally take the chance to look up at him from kneeling in between his legs. The sight was beautiful, his chest still heaving as he came down from his high, the light sheen on his skin from the intensity of my action; my eyes finally met his, which had something other than lust laced in the gaze. Toto, finally gaining some consciousness, pulled me up from in front of him and pulled me onto his lap. He scooted us until his back was against the pillows and rested against the headboard of my bed. He pulled me in for a hug in which I rested my head against his chest, and my legs were tangled between his. We snuggled into each other, embracing the afterglow of our intimacy.

I couldn't tell you how long we stayed like this, but I felt serene. I know today will be short-lived, and Toto feels the same. I knew this would be the last time I see him, being physically near him, just to hold me; ironically, he's been the stability I've longed for. I've never been the one to let my heart determine my actions or just be flat-out smitten, but Toto broke through all of that and, in a matter of days, put me utterly speechless. I am so relieved and don't dare to tell someone how I genuinely feel for them because I've been broken several times. I was never anyone's first choice, and even when I approached someone just to talk to them only, to find out they called me psychotic behind my back or that they thought I wasn't okay trying to figure out why they were giving mixed signals and the best part was telling someone I loved them and the feelings where mutual between us for them to start a relationship with someone else. From those instances, I have had no choice but to pick up the pieces of my own broken heart, piece them back together, and guard them from the next person. From then on, it was hard to tell someone that I was interested because I couldn't bear putting the pieces back together; the pain over the years is unlike another and unbearable that I don't wish on my enemy. I get too easily attached and become emotional. I couldn't bear any pain. But these past few days, Toto has shown me what it means to care for someone other than yourself; he's been courteous, sweet and safe, which I yearn for. I wish I could tell him the number of times I would lay awake at night or the times I cried myself asleep wishing I could have someone to love, to hold, to care about someone and give my heart to them. I want to tell him someday how he was a breath of fresh air I never knew I needed from drowning for so long. As if he understood, to end my inner monologue preaching my painfulness of romanticizing love, he gently kissed the top of my head and squeezed his arms tighter around me. I couldn't help but just melt further into his arms."I'm going to miss this, miss you, just holding you, all of this pains me." he sighs and kisses the top of my head, "You know ... I'm going to miss you too, Toto... We can still talk on the phone, video calls, and text. I know the time difference will be painful, but I need you, too." I shift out of his grasp to look him in the face, and he loses his grip around me to do so. His looks softened, "How did I get so lucky to find such a sweet girl like you?" he slid his hand up to cup my face and kissed the tip of my nose, and I couldn't help but smile softly at his comment. "You know, I could say the same about you." His lips curl up into a smile, and he pulls me in for a hug again; we stay like this for a moment, just savouring the physicality of our situation. I take the chance to draw back from his embrace, which he loosens and slides his hands to my waist. "On that note, would you like to come shower with me?" I couldn't help but reflectively bite my lower lip, to which my eyes dart back up to his, and his lop-sided smirk turns into a full-blown smile, and he says with such tenderness, "I would love to." Toto pulls the covers off our bodies, adjusts my legs, and is now straddling his lap. His hands slide to grasp the underside of my thighs, and I go to wrap my arms around his neck. He shuffles the both of us until his legs are off on the edge of the bed, and my legs are wrapped around his waist. He stands up with me in his arms.

I couldn't help but giggle at him carrying me as if I weighed nothing to him and headed out of my room and towards the washroom. "okay, Schatzi, I might need a bit of guidance on where it is," "Okay, we are almost there, its the room by the top of the stairs to the right" I feel him a nod, and he keeps making his way. Weirdly, I have never been carried in my home, but you let the feeling slide. We both enter the washroom. He gently places you back on your feet as you turn to get the water on, a little warmer for your liking, and I know Toto would do the same; I also make sure my bathrobe is there, and luckily, there is an extra towel for Toto to use, so you don't need to leave. You take the chance to get your hairbrush, as this would be the perfect opportunity to get your hair wet and rack product through it again. You can sense Toto watching you meticulously as you get prepared. You check the temperature of the water, and it's at the perfect temperature; you open the shower curtain, turn around and extend your hand towards Toto, signalling to take hold, which he does. You couldn't help but notice his demeanour; he keeps his gaze at your eyes or the floor, and his face supports a light blush. His cute, boyish grin makes you melt whenever he glances at you.