GIRL FAILURE - original romance

✧⁠*⁠。1 ｡⁠*⁠♡

wanna listen to some tunes? here's Charlie's setlist:

Chicago — Sufjan Stevens
After midnight — Chappell Roan
Naked in Manhattan — Chappell Roan
Guilty Pleasure — Chappell Roan
Guess — Charli xcx ft. Billie Eilish
Angel of my dreams — Jade

(⁠*⁠˘⁠︶⁠˘⁠*⁠)⁠.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡

What do you do when your parents are absolutely not proud of you or any so called achievements you brag about, and this since you're like 8 years old ?

Actually, I made a reddit post asking this same exact question because I always ignored this behavior, but is it the way to go ? Maybe I'll never know, maybe I shouldn't ask for advice on the internet... Maybe I should have done a TikTok about it...

I've always been the ugly duckling. I was bad at gymnastics, bad at maths, bad at everything. Wasn't that bad on a bike until I broke my elbow. I wasn't gifted. I wasn't the pretty one, nor the funny one or even the smart one. I was the red head. The curly red head. I guess it's what made a difference between me and my big sisters. And it wasn't that bad actually, since I had not even a thing I was good at I had at least something setting me out of the crowd that was my family. My sisters were amazingly pretty blondes with wavy hair and bright green eyes. They looked like my mother. They tanned easily, lips which would make the perfect pout as they begged their little boyfriends for rides on their motorcycles, wrapping their long legs on the seats and their thin arms around their boys waists. And you'd think I was jealous. Well no, they're my sisters, I love them and I don't even feel particularly ugly. I just wasn't part of the competition, it was like playing on different lanes, it was never question of comparing them to me, why would anyone do that it would too cruel. But I wasn't jealous, since young I always tried to find what made me unique myself, what made me pretty and what made me interesting. Therefore I tried lots of hobbies, lots of sports, lots of everything. I just wasn't awesomely good at one thing, Justine was good at ballet and swimming and Caroline was good at making dresses and singing. But when I say good, I mean impressively good. Like god like good. Nobody ever told them they weren't gonna get the things they want the most I guess and it worked out, and well, really well. Their talents though, kind of made me jealous, maybe the attention they got because of this made me jealous, but this jealousy made me want to find what would make me shine, sadly (or not) at the ripe age of 25 I still had not find what would make me rich and famous. And as I grew older and older I lost interest into finding, I just let stuffs and things pile up in my wardrobe and random drawers at my place. One thing I'm good at is masturbating but I'm not sure it's considered a talent, no offense to camgirls tho, super hot keep up the good work girlies. In conclusion, today I was just a curly red haired girl, I mean woman, going from alimentary job to alimentary jobs, two years ago it was just to buy myself shots at clubs as well as shoes, bags and jewelery but now it's to be able to take 3 weeks breaks between jobs just to do nothing. To watch shows, sleep, scroll, try to do art or write a book, oh and masturbate I guess. But it wasn't that bad for real, It wasn't the best, nor what I dreamed for myself when I was twelve even though I don't actually remember what I dreamed of, maybe I just wanted peace from my perfect family and I got it so maybe it's my dream life. Peace in between chaotic and shitty jobs where I got yelled at a lot just to eat instant noodles for three month and finally get my three weeks of vacations in my flat after I quitted, again.

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" Girl, I got the job for you. I'm going to Japan in two weeks and my brother needs help in his library, coffeeshop, kitty bar whatever his place is. You know ve opened two month ago right and it's pretty popular but I won't be able to help him for now and he considered hiring someone to help him. " said my friend Julie as we drank our weekly coffee on our favorite bench in the park right down my flat. Even though it was now mid-november we met in front of her big bro's business at 9am on sundays to get our free coffees. Hers was a simple black coffee and mine a vanilla packed latte, was there any caffeine in that shit, I'll never actually know but it was amazing. I never went in there to thank him, or see what that place was like but I guess that could happen now." I'll talk to him about it, I'm sure I can convince him, gaslight him, whatever it takes. "