Forever

Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Although having kids in the condo is new, I felt a sense of happiness and contentment when I saw their smiles and heard their laughter; it was as though my heart had found a new place.

I am sitting beside Luna but there is a slight distance between me and her on the couch which explains how our relationship is but as their father, I am willing to make a move so they would feel safe around me especially ngayon na alam nilang bilang nalang ang araw na kasama ang Mommy nila but I understand that she is still adjusting with the new environment she is in "Luna." Pag tawag ko sa kanya at agad naman itong lumingon sa akin "Is Sol still asleep?" Tanong ko sa kanya at agad naman siyang tumango "Opo! Napagod po ata pagkatapos natin manuod kasama ni Mommy ng sunset." She said in reply "How about you?" I asked "Bakit po?" She asked with this confused face on "It is already three in the afternoon and I have noticed that you only slept for an hour." Sagot ko "I can't sleep thinking about Mommy's condition po." Tugon niya and my heart started to ache.

"Hali ka nga dito anak at mag usap tayo." Sabi ko sa kanay so she scot over and she looked at me in the eyes "Nag aaral ka na ba?" Tanong ko agad siya tumango "Multiple Intelligence International School po and I take multiple jobs at fifteen rin po para makapag-aral din si Sol." Sagot niya and I did not know why I had this urge to hug her and so I did.

Luna is still young but she is already doing one heck of a good job for a girl her age and after hugging her ay tinignan ko siya and there is this feeling na parang may kailangan akong gawin "Anak, ako na bahala sa inyo ng kapatid mo, okay? You do not need to pay for his tuitions anymore at kung ano man ang makuha mo sa trabaho mo ay mas mabuting you save it para sa future mo." Sabi ko sa kanya and tears started flowing down her cheeks which made me hug her again.

I know what it feels like to be alone and not having anyone to support you mentally and physically because I have been there but I am proud of Luna for enduring all the pain and always thinking about her brother because whatever she is doing, it is not something that I could've done in the past.

She fell asleep on my shoulders after crying so bad so I carried her patungo sa kwarto nila ni Sol "I love you both." Bulong ko sabay halik sa noo nilang dalawa and then I went outside their room at dumiretso ako sa balcony and there I saw the love of my life just sitting quietly.

"Love, di ka naman nag sabi na gising ka na." Sabi ko sa kanya at agad siya napalingon sa akin "I heard how you talk to Luna." Sabi niya "Masyado kasi akong naging emotional sa pag uusap niyo kanina kaya I didn't bother to ruin the moment." Pagpatuloy niya and I smiled in awe because this was always our dream.

My heart started to ache again because when she talks like this, it reminds me of how much time she only have until she leaves us and something in my mind clicked and somehow I just found myself kneeling in front of her and I held both of her hands and I looked at her eyes "Di man tayo ipangpala ng tadhana pero saksi naman ang pag lubog ng araw at ilaw ng buwan kung paano ko sinigaw ang pangalan mo at kung paano kita protektahan kahit ilang tao pa ang mag sabi sakin na mali tong ginagawa ko pero kahit kalian ay hindi ka kamalian sa paningin ko kasi mahal kita at sa lahat ng bagay na nagdala ng sakit sa akin ay ikaw yung nagbibigay lakas at ikaw ang dahilan kung bakit pa rin ako lumalaban." Pumatak ang mga luha ko sa pag sabi ko nun sa kanya "Pwede mo na bitawan ang sakit at pang hawakan mo nalang ang mga masasayang araw na magkasama tayo." Sabi niya sakin at agad ako nakakita ng isang luhang binitawan niya kaya agad ko yun pinunasan "Di ko hahayang masaktan ka ng paulit-ulit kaya kung sana payagan mo akong bumitaw na, okay lang ba?" Tanong niya sakin.

Di ko na napigilan ang sarili ko at niyakap ko siya ng mahigpit hanggang sa naramdaman ko ang mga kamay niya na kumawala at ang ulo niya tila parang nakasandal nalang sa aking balikat at dun ko na napagtanto na wala na ang pinakamamahal ko.

"Pa?" Napatingin ako kay Sol at Luna na nakatayo at nakatingin sa amin kaya agad ko inupo ng maayos si Ella at pinunasan ko pagkatapos ang mga luha ko "Hali kayo dito." Sabi ko sa kanila at agad kaming pumasok sa loob "Alam niyo ba kung paano gumamit ng cellphone?" Tanong ko at tumango naman sila kaya binigay ko ang phone ko kay Luna "Tawagan mo si Tita Ezra mo at sabihin mong pumunta dito dahil kailangan siya ng Mommy niyo." Pagsisinungaling ko pero di ko kasi alam kung paano sabihin sa mga bata na di na nila naabutan ang Mommy nila kasi bumigay na siya at di niya na kinaya ang hirap na nararamdaman niya.

The kids understood what I meant but I was too busy crying when I went back in the balcony that I did not notice Ezra and Chand arriving.

"Luna, pwede bang pumunta muna kayo ng kapatid mo sa kwarto niyo? We will explain everything later pero kailangan muna naming makausap ang papa niyo, is that okay?" I heard Ezra talking to the kids "Sige po!" Luna answered agad ko naramdaman na may mga kamay na bumuhat sa akin and even if my eyes are blurry because of my own tears ay nakikita ko pa rin ang mukha ni Chand at agad niya ako niyakap.

They let me cry it all out hanggang sa wala na akong malabas na luha and then Ezra went with me sa morgue while Chand is left at the condominium with the kids "May napagusapan pa ba kayo bago siya mawalan ng buhay?" Tanong ni Ezra sa akin at damang dama ko sa boses niya na nagpipigil lang siya "You're her best friend so I totally understand kung gusto mong umiyak." Sabi ko sa kanya "No, I'm fine." Sagot niya "Ezra, do not stop yourself from feelings this kasi alam ko na nasa isip mo ngayon n asana andun ka para nakausap mo pa siya kaya iiyak mo yan hanggang maaga pa." I said to her and then she hugged me and she cried.

It is the first time that I have seen Ezra cry but she deserves to cry more than me since it is her who have seen Ella grew into the person that she is, after taking care of what needs to be taken care of ay agad na kami umuwi sa condo and the kids are just watching television but their hearing is very good kasi napalingon sila ka-agad sa amin as soon as we entered.

Sol and Luna came to us and hugged us "Tito Chand has already told us." Sabi ni Sol agad kami kumawala sa pagkayakap nila and they look very worried "Pa, if may gusto po kayong gawin muna ni Tita Ezra ay maiintindihan po naming kasi hindi po ganun kadali ang mawalan ng minamahal sa buhay." Sabi ni Luna "We may still be kids po pero alam po namin kung gaano niyo kamahal si Mommy as a partner and as a friend kahit di po kami gaano katagal pa dito ay nakikita po naming ang pagmamahalan niyong lahat bilang magkakaibigan din po." Sabi ni Sol and I smiled because Ella would be happy and proud hearing those words from Sol and Luna.

Ella was never wrong about anything and it is also making me emotional that she adopted the right kids for us, the kids that would always remind me of her and her love.