Pairing: Y/N x Angel
*Summary: Angel wakes up one night, and makes a drastic decision.*
*Angel's POV*
He didn't deserve you. Hell knows he didn't.
So why couldn't he let you go? Why did he allow your gentle caresses and sweet words to crack the armor around his heart and make him...what's the word? Melt like a Popsicle?
It was unexpected, unpredictable. From one moment to the next, everything changed.
He wasn't Angel Fucking Dust, the porn star, Valentino's pretty little toy.
He had a purpose, he became... genuinely important to someone. He became...YOURS.
He became...Anthony.
It was all so weird at first, you didn't want his services, which was...odd. You kept coming onto him, but you didn't want that? It confused the hell out of him that's for damn sure.
But one thing Angel is well practiced at, is getting to used to things.
So, you? He got used to you after a while of your constant visits and random rants at the bar where he would sit.
As the days turned to weeks, he slowly grew fond of you...not in a lustful way, but in a... friendship sort of way. Whatever the hell that feels like.
And as the weeks turned to months, that was when everything REALLY got interesting.
Interesting as in...sleepless nights, heavy pacing, mindless chatter, and occasionally, stalking you.
He couldn't understand what the hell was happening to him, he was scared of it too...he's never felt so vulnerable in his life before.
But overtime, the vulnerability wasn't beaten and used like Valentino would do religiously.
It was cared for, tended to...loved by you.
You--who were once just some demon--became the most important thing to him.
And that...scared the FUCK out of him.
Even to this day, a few months of being in your arms, of tenderly kissing your lips and saying your name in the middle of the night...it all still scares him.
But not because of not fully understanding this feeling...
But more like...because of HIM.
The very being that is a master at taking and manipulating the things Angel loves.
Valentino.
In the middle of the night, almost as if awakened by a nightmare, Angel's eyes shoot open as he quickly glances over to you, placing a hesitant and trembling hand on your sleeping body just to reassure himself that you're still there and not a figment of his imagination.
As he feels his own hand being lifted by your body taking a deep breath, a sigh of relief escapes his lips, before he clasps both hands on his lap, his gaze staring down at his sinful hands...
Two hands he's done unspeakable things with, the same two hands that shouldn't even dare touch you...yet they do.
And you accept it...you accepted everything from him, flaws and all...
Why...goddamn it why did you do that?
You made things so much better, and so much worse for him.
Shifting slightly, Angel places a tender kiss on your cheek, which you smile softly at while remaining asleep.
"I love you so God damn much baby," he whispers with a shaky voice, his hand now grasping your arm as he fights to swallow his tears.
I love you so much that in the end...I'll be the one that breaks your heart.
But I gotta...I can't...live like this. Not with Y/N, not with this lifestyle of sin...
Slowly slipping out of bed, Angel quietly gets dressed, interrupted by the sound of his pig oinking curiously.
Panicked, Angel shushes the pig, picking him up and nuzzling him tightly.
Knowing this will be his very last time he'll ever hold his beloved pet again.
"Nuggs, you--you're gonna stay here, okay? Y/N--Y/N's gonna take real good care of ya, okay?" Angel croaks, placing a final tender kiss on the pig's forehead before setting him down on the bed, watching as the pig makes himself comfortable beside you.
This final memory...both a pain to bear, and a pleasure to see.
Two of the most important things he loves, together...
And two of the most important things he loves...he's letting go.
Shakily, Angel writes a note, placing it beside you on the nightstand, before tenderly caressing your cheek, the same way he always does when you're asleep or in his arms.
"I always told you to be strong, yeah?" Angel sighs, "well...ya gotta be extra strong now...because I knew this day would come."
The day when this picture perfect fantasy would reach it's end.
Angel wipes away the sudden tear rolling down his cheek, giving you one final kiss before whispering a forced goodbye, and walking out of the hotel room, down the stairs, and onto Pentagram City streets.
Usually, he would go to Valentino.
But not tonight...tonight, he's going somewhere where no one can reach him.
All because he's scared that by him being near you will draw in the predator that is Valentino.
All because he fears he'll never even clean enough to deserve your love.
All because he's too scared to accept you completely...
With one final look at the Hazbin Hotel, he gives his final nod...before disappearing in Hell's rising Sun...
***
Angel was gone. That's all you really knew.
Until that is...you found the note.
With shaky hands, you opened the note, holding a palm over your mouth as you silently read the scribbled words on paper.
"There's too much to say, but maybe I can sum it up in these couple of sentences.
I love you, more then myself, or anything in this Hell.
But I don't deserve you...someone fucked up like me being with someone as perfect as you?
I'll only corrupt you. And I can't bare the sight of seeing your beautiful light shaded by my own addictions and sins and people I'm forced to keep in my life.
So...that's why I'm leaving. Not because I don't hate you, or because I'm cruel...but because I have to.
Because I have to protect you from Valentino...and from myself. I'm too weak to overcome my addictions and sins.
I always told you to stay strong for a reason, doll...
I told you to stay strong because I knew one day you would have to bear the weight of what it is I'm about to do.
Don't bother looking for me...I'm going someplace where not even Satan himself can reach.
I love you sweetcheeks, and I'm thankful for the months you've spent with me.
Take care of Nuggs for me, yeah? He'll need extra love now..."
Yours, Angel💔
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