Different Doesn't Mean Broken

Chapter 16 - Mia

I needed rest hour. Lunch had been a lot. Emotional, loud, exhausting and overwhelming. The counselors cared more about calming down Riley than the fact I was obviously overwhelmed.

But now, it was rest hour. Caryn was talking to someone near our bed and I snapped. "Just shut up Caryn!"

Caryn looked hurt and frowned. Then whispered to Riley who laughed. I slightly heard the R word from Riley.

Then ran to the front of the cabin and began to cry. I hid myself in a corner, begging to become entirely invisible. If I became invisible, perhaps the floor would swallow me up.

Sally came over, the only staff, surprisingly, on duty for rest time right now. She kneeled down to my height and held out her hand. "Come on, Mia. Need to go for a walk?"

I nodded silently and took Sally's hand. Then my crutches. Sally spoke into her walkie-talkie to see who could cover the cabin for the rest of rest hour. Turned out, Tia, the new assistant director could.

Tia arrived soon and then Sally and I were walking. I had hoped to speak to Alex during rest hour and apologize for bumping into her earlier at lunch time. But now it was too late to do so.

"Mia, if you ever need a break, you're welcome to tell one of us." Sally said.

I leaned against my crutches and paused from hobbling. My head was a bit fuzzy and I was a bit lightheaded. But I remained silent about that.

"Yeah, I realize that. But it's scary. Two new diagnosis in one year? I never know how I feel. Not truly."

Sally looked at me. I suppose you could say she had pity in her eyes, but one thing I know is the counsellors don't pity us. So I suppose it was sympathy.

"Wait," Sally said. "Two? I thought the POTS was new. What else?"

"I'm also on the Autism spectrum," I said. "At least it explains some of my sensory issues that I didn't know were not exactly, I guess, 'normal'?"

"Oh. I didn't realize that was a new diagnosis. I'm not going to say I'm sorry. I have nothing to be sorry for, but I do understand it's got to be overwhelming trying to navigate all the new things you're facing."

I shrugged. That was one way to put it.

Sally and I continued on a little further. We were near the beach.

"For the love of..." Sally started. "Mia, I will be right back. Sit here on the bench and we'll continue. I just have to deal with something."

I sat down and watched as Sally stormed over to the beach and through the gate. I saw her looking down and talking. I couldn't hear what she was saying from here, or see who she was talking to, but she did not look happy. I saw her point in the direction of the cabin and then saw Alex stand up, look at Sally, flip her the bird with both hands, and storm off towards the cabin. Sally made her way back over to me.

"Sorry about that. I hate having to leave you when we're talking to deal with... that."

"Can I ask what happened?"

Sally sighed.

"Alex was on the beach alone. You known the rules. No one goes to the beach alone. I swear, that girl is pushing everyone's buttons and it's only been a day and a half. Barely."

"Then why not send her home? She doesn't want to be here. No one really wants her to be here. So why make her stay?"

"Because Alex needs this. I can't go into too much detail, for privacy reasons, but she's had it rough this year with the diagnosis," Sally said. "And I don't believe no one wants her here."

Sally winked at me.

"My mom calls me Pollyanna sometimes because I'm always looking for the good in people. I don't want Alex to leave either, but she's really unhappy. I want to try to help her but I don't know how," I said.

Sally smiled at me.

"There are not enough people in the world like you, Mia. I wish there were more. Let's head back. You're looking a little out of sorts and I think you ought to lay down for a bit," Sally said, scrutinizing me.

I didn't want to go back but I also didn't want to stay out. Sally was right. I did need the rest. Hopefully Riley and Caryn were done being asshats.

When we got back to the cabin I hobbled over to my bed and saw Alex laying on hers. She saw me, frowned and turned over so her back was to me. I rolled my eyes and lay down on my bed.

I must have fallen asleep because I was woken up by a huge jolt.

"Get up. Meds," Alex had kicked my bed. I was trying to acclimatize myself, not realizing I'd fallen so deeply asleep. Alex was gone by the time I realized I was actually awake. I sat up on my bed and shook my head. I still felt off. Hopefully, after meds, the afternoon activities wouldn't be too strenuous.

"Mia? You ready?" Michelle called from the front room.

"Yeah," I said, pulling myself up. "Coming!"

I hobbled my way to the front and joined our cabin to go down for meds.

While we were there I noticed Alex was in line.

"I thought you didn't have afternoon meds," I said to her.

"I'm diabetic, gimp," she said. "I need a test and a snack."

"My name," I said through clenched teeth. "Is Mia."

Alex looked me up and down then scoffed.

"Whatever," she said.

Meds didn't seem to take as long. Alex was already outside by the time I'd had mine.

"Alright, Thunderstorms!" Michelle called out. "Arts and crafts and then music!"

"Lame and lamer," Alex muttered as she walked beside me.

"Hey, Alex," I chanced. She didn't look at me, but she slowed. "I'm sorry if I got in your way after lunch."

She looked at me this time.

"When are you not in the way?" She snarked and sped up, leaving me at the back of the group.

"You're a glutton for punishment, Mia," Caryn said. "I wish they'd just send her home."

I didn't say anything because what little Sally had told me wasn't mine to repeat. So I shrugged. At least Caryn wasn't being mean still.

Riley looked at me and then at Caryn and then at the ground.

"Caryn said you're..." she started.

"I did not say that Mia is the R word. I said the situation is the R word. They should really just send her home. No one wants her here."

"Mia does," Riley said in a tone that sounded like she wasn't part of the conversation, but clearly she was.

"Well, I don't want her kicked out," I said. "I think she's scared. Her diagnosis is new and I think she's still adjusting. She can't blame anyone really,"

"Oh, so we get the honour of being her emotional punching bag? Fuck that, Mia. Fuck that and fuck her."

"Fuck her," Riley echoed.

"Riley!" Michelle said as she came up to us since we were still standing outside the arts and crafts building.

"Number one - no swearing. Number two, get inside and get in your seats. Mia, are you okay?"

I nodded. I didn't want to let on that I was feeling a little out of sorts. I figured between the heat, and the noise at lunch, I probably was a little overdue for my meds and hopefully when they kicked in, I'd feel better.

Michelle scrutinized me for a second and then nodded.

"You tell one of us if that changes, got it?"

I nodded again. Michelle smiled and rubbed my arm lightly. It felt like she was wearing sandpaper gloves. I was too sensitive to touch just now.