When Money Isn't Good Enough (Kakuzu Story)

Chapter 24

As Kakuzu came back into his own body, he still remained with his eyes closed.

A frown evident on his face, he clenched his fists, unsure whether he wanted to bother moving. His anger had been real enough when he had been talking to Ryoshi, it was true, and it still remained now. Since when had he done a thing wrong to her? They'd been getting along just fine for the last few days, and now suddenly she turned her back on him—literally as well as metaphorically? He had been the one to extend a hand to try and help her, when it was the last thing anyone would expect him to do. He had been the one to make the effort for once, and yet Ryoshi and dismissed it as if it were nothing; as if it didn't matter. So why should Kakuzu continue to try to help her? If she wasn't about to help him out here, why should he do the same?

Because he wanted to.

As much as he was pissed off at the way Ryoshi was acting and all she had done to him, he still couldn't direct all his anger towards it. In a situation with someone like Hidan, his anger was able to tip over the edge and make him want to kill someone—and ultimately go through with that desire. But it wasn't the same with Ryoshi. Though he was angry, it was never enough for him to want to kill her—or even hurt her in the slightest. He didn't want things to be this way, and he wanted to make things right again; for once in his life. But how could he, when Ryoshi wouldn't even talk to him; simply acted aggressive and malicious? As if this wouldn't have been hard enough already when he wasn't a people person in the slightest, therefore not even understanding his own emotions, Ryoshi had to make things harder. All in all, Kakuzu didn't have a clue what to do—and he hated that fact. 'If you're prepared, there won't be any sorrow'. He lived by those words. But he had no preparation whatsoever in this circumstance, and he felt helpless; and that was never a feeling he liked to entertain.

So opening his eyes, he swiftly got up and began his routine for going to bed, heading out to grab a drink before returning to his room, tossing his cloak onto the chair and his hood onto the bedside table. Massaging his temples as his thoughts threatened to resurface to the forefront of his mind, Kakuzu shook them off as best he could, disappearing into the bathroom before he finally lay back down on the bed. Curling onto his side, he clamped his eyes shut and tried to relax his body to the point where he could fall asleep—but it didn't seem to work. Now with nothing to do but think, the room dark and utterly silent, not even his breathing making a noise, his thoughts rose to a crescendo and overwhelmed him. But resisting the urge to cover his head with his hands, Kakuzu gritted his teeth and forced them back, flipping onto his back and opening his eyes to stare at the ceiling. The last time he'd lain thinking like this was when he'd been about to start the mission with Ryoshi. When he'd been looking forward to how things would turn out and being able to see her perform the jutsu; to see her skills as a bounty hunter being put to work.

How things change.

But at the same time, that thought managed to quieten everything else in his head. The problems, the concerns, the emotions...they all faded and disappeared into the back of his mind. Instead the memories returned. Remembering all that had happened back then and how he had felt. Somehow it had seemed there was nothing to be concerned about then. Everything had been laid out and prepared in front of Kakuzu and he had been looking forward to it all. By concentrating on what had been good, on what had been right and what he understood, it helped to push away the problems for now. By the time Kakuzu drifted into sleep, he'd almost forgotten they were there, and his dreams, at least, were peaceful.

The same couldn't be said when he woke up, however, and although Kakuzu could keep them at a bearable thud, they were still hovering in his consciousness. Instead he tried to focus on something else, and chose the things he had to do that day. He had to keep going after Ketsu, of course, and after completing the mission he could finally get the idiot's bounty. Only the mention of the word brought up a whole other section of thoughts, and Kakuzu whispered a curse out loud. Suddenly the memory of what Ryoshi had said last night returned to him, and he couldn't shake it. His gaze drifted to the window and the outside world, but his eyes were blank and unfocused, the only images in his head being those of the cell.

"You prefer bounties, right? They're easier to deal with, after all."

What had she been talking about?

What had she meant by that?

Was she trying to get him to stop coming to see her herself? That, in the end, it was the bounties that mattered the most—after all, she was a bounty hunter. That he didn't really come into the equation and never really had, and none of her emotions had any connection with him. That the idea that he would be leaving soon and never seeing him again didn't bother her in the slightest. Contemplating those possibilities, Kakuzu found he didn't feel quite right at the idea—he'd felt like that before; but he didn't really feel that way now. Before this mission, he'd have agreed totally; that the bounties always came first, and he was willing to fight and kill anyone for large amounts of money—it was what he had said to those ninjas when he'd been going after Ketsu.

Only for it to him like a Chidori to the heart—well, one of them, at least.

They'd both been heading after Ketsu that day, true, but then at one point they'd separated and headed down different paths to make sure to cut Ketsu off and corner him—so he had nowhere to run. When he'd been talking and fighting to those ninjas, he hadn't known where Ryoshi was—but for all he knew she could have been close by; close enough to hear what he said. And from the way things had turned out, Kakuzu was beginning to think she had. But she hadn't seen it from the perspective in which he'd meant it. Now he knew what Ryoshi was thinking ultimately why she had been acting the way she had. It was why she was refusing to talk to him—and why she'd said that. She hadn't been saying that she was dismissing him and concentrating on what she wanted. She'd been saying that that's what she thought his opinion was.

Abruptly any anger Kakuzu had had towards Ryoshi dissipated completely. Now he knew the truth, there was no need to get aggressive. Whether those ninjas had specifically asked him those questions to make this happen, Kakuzu didn't know—it was that that would make him angry. It might even have been part of the reason why she had been captured. But he could contemplate that later—for now he had other things to concentrate on, and so pushed that idea aside.

Quickly, he sat meditative style on the bed, closing his eyes and slowing his breathing. He didn't give a shit if the Akatsuki were expecting him to appear any minute now—this was more important. As such, he focused on Ryoshi and brought his chakra up inside of him, doing just the same as he had done both times before. The change came about quicker this time; with his urgency to talk to her and his focus utterly on Ryoshi and nothing else, his chakra enveloped everything and a few moments later he was back in her cell.

Only now he knew what he could say to make things better.